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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Started by D-Scum, November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM

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The MST3K version of this movie is the only way to watch it, without clawing your eyes out and spiking daggers in your ears.

"What's in the pipe, Santa?"


Great song! Rotten movie. Made me hate Santa Claus and children! Real Earth children would have killed the "lovable" Dropo right off. Our old theater on main street here used to play this thing on Saturday afternoons every December. Nearly everybody could sing along with the damn song...none of us needed the bouncing ball finalie anymore. It was always advertised as a new Ckristmas time classic...PUKE! When Pia Zadora had her quick brush with fame it was advertised as that classic we all love starring Pia Zadora! Chuckle, chuckle...PUKE! We'd go see it again...on a lark...PUKE! When it pops up on TV nowadays around Christmas time...PUKE! We're opening gifts around the tree later on...someone says, "Remember that Martian Santa Claus Movie?"...PUKE! Last week I was playing my Stratocaster in the living room and watching the coming attractions on Cable's AMC station...guess what? PUKE! You don't have to buy or rent this atrocity to see it, just wait around, it'll track you down and corner you on it's own sooner or later...have a barfbag ready.

Fun and touching,this film is the best Christmas cult film I have ever seen.It would go with my favorite cult films like Critters 3,Killer Klowns from Outer Space,Mst3k episode Pod People,Joe Dirt,Troll 2, and Trilogy of Terror.I hope i`ll get the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version for Christmas.

Drew Wharton

It's so bad I liked it!!!! I remember watching this show late at night on TV.This guy who made this must have been  put in a mental hospital for having an IQ of an 5 year old.I like the aliens. They remind me of that T.V show "my best friends an alien.


Get the song out of my head! AAAAARGH! Get it out! Get it out!


I love this movie!!!!!   It's the worst film I've ever seen, but I watch it every x-mas and still get a kick out of the vomit-inducing singing, incredible dialogue and the most...artistic sets ever.   Classic!!!!

Mr. Benalto

Everyone seems to have summed up this baby really well. I've read multiple reviews, and seen the MST3K version, and there's one opportunity everyone seems to have missed, so allow me to point it out for you all - KIMAR AND VOLDAR = HALL AND OATES! That is all.

Smarty J.

This movie is hilarious if you watch the Mystery science Theater 3000 version of it.


I saw this movie as a Mystery Science episode. I could not possibly have watched it any other way! The comments by the robots and Joel is what kept me awake!!

Last scene: Silly song is playing, move screen is filled with Santa's picture and Joel intones in a deep voice: "Santa Claus, killed in Vietnam."

Virginia Plane

   Ugh. Even worse than the Carrey/Howard Grinch. I find it amusing how the kid "Billy"'s face turns grey in several scenes. (Bad lighting, I assume.) Voldar looks like Frank Zappa, doesn't he? And ANY kid with any intelligence would find Dropo creepy and irritating.

Todd Shields

Poor Vincent Beck seems to be the only good actor in this turkey, and he often looks as embarrassed as hell, as if to say "I went to acting school for this?! Somebody shoot me!"

gustav mahler

The dreary atmosphere, and murky, often underlighted camera work make this an unsettling experience. The entire film looks as if it were shot in somebody's cellar. Add to  this a muffelled sound track and grotesque overacting, and you have the comedic equivalent of a fake South American snuff film. Still it is some kind of weird classic in it's own right.


What in the name of Jesus H.Christ?! Some stupid film about Santa fighting martians is what this mess is about. Santa must be spinning in his grave man!!! Although the film would be good for kids right enough. If adults want to see the film it is advisable that they should drink a few pints to dull down the pain.

my rating: 0/10
childrens rating: 7-10/10

dr js

My parents took me to see this movie when it first premiered in theaters during the Christmas holiday in 1964. Why do I clearly remember this movie in detail, given that I saw it when I was a small child? Even given my limited experience with movies in general to that point, it stuck out in my mind as a truly special, truly bad film. I have not seen it since then, but I do savour the awful memory of it.

Danlami Mohammed

Very fancinating with the  current update of film