Worst Movie Theme Song

[peter johnson]

This has to be an acutal "theme" music, eh?  'Cause I can think of a lot of general film music that was pretty bad --
1)  Whatever was that sado-masochistic pervert song that the bad guys sing to each other in "Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang"?  That made my flesh crawl as a child -- why this is still considered wholesome family fare escapes me --
2)  Lon Chaney sings "Spider Baby"!!!
3)  The theme to "Spy Hard" by Weird Al Yankovick was supposed to be intentionally funny, but I still find it pretty much a head-shaker . . .
peter johnson/denny crane

[Zapranoth]

"Benson, Arizona" (the theme to "Dark Star" of course) --

a.   it's country,
b.   sound quality unbelievably tinny and blaring -- like a low-quality drive-in speaker that has been beaten with a Louisville slugger and then a gallon of wine poured into it,
c.   was sung by extras and cast IIRC,
d.   really bloody horribly written and sung.   Twangy, flat, and plodding, yet still shrieky.

That's my vote.  Oh yeah.   

[Yaddo 42]

The Sammy Hagar theme song, "Winner Takes it All", from Over the Top, actually the whole soundtrack album is prime evidence of what was wrong with the 80s.

Any theme or closing credits song sung by Jackie Chan for one of his films. I knew a guy who actually collected them since he really liked them, not as kitsch or guilty pleasure music even.

"Hooray for Santa(y) Claus" from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Neverending pain when played, it's way too long and seem even longer since it drags out every last misbegotten note.

The title song from the 1970s William Smith flick "Hollywood Man". Murky and rambling country-rock, makes the Eagles seem macho by comparison.

Not the theme song, but any of Gerrit Graham's singing in Cannonball, but that was bad on purpose.

[Scott]

I think anyone here who likes LEE VAN CLEEF or TELLY SAVALAS will appreciate:

Captain Apache (Lee Van Cleef sings theme song)



Pancho Villa (Telly Savalas sings the theme song at the end of the film)

[Flangepart]

"Benson, Arizona" (the theme to "Dark Star" of course) --

a.   it's country,
b.   sound quality unbelievably tinny and blaring -- like a low-quality drive-in speaker that has been beaten with a Louisville slugger and then a gallon of wine poured into it,
c.   was sung by extras and cast IIRC,
d.   really bloody horribly written and sung.   Twangy, flat, and plodding, yet still shrieky.

That's my vote.  Oh yeah.   

All true...but i still like it.
It fitys the attitude of the movie. The less it fits, the more it jars the mind.
The theme for FIREBALL XL-5...a love song for a kids show?  It just don't seem RIGHT!

[Torgo]

"Hey! Hey! Hey! BIM's on the way!"

[Torgo]

my pick for 2nd worst song is the theme  song to Dead Heat that plays throughoug the ending credits.

[Newt]

Ben.

Maybe it 'fits' but...

[Neville]

Surprisingly, "Move your dead bones" from "Beyond Re-animator" still has to make its appearence. It's a really crappy song, and doesn't even fit with the movie, but the video is hysterical and has become a regular staple at YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BnOUOkcr9c

[peter johnson]

Oh, yeah!
Ben! . . . Ben!!. . . BENNNN!!
I remember seeing the original "Willard" at a drive-in in Virginia when it first came out -- GREAT horror movie, so I was thrilled when I heard there was going to be a sequel -- "BEN"!! --
Well, imagine my deep deep disappointment when that . . . that . . . THING with the little boy singing to and cuddling his pet rat came out.
I've always thoroughly disliked Michael Jackson and his music -- Though I will confess I DID like the "Thriller" video when it first came out -- and that nasal, whining lullaby, the "Ben" theme, really makes me ill -- and not in a good way, either!
peter johnson/denny crane

[retrorussell]

There's a song in the crappy slasher GRADUATION DAY by a sucky group called "Felony".  Pure pain.  The music itself isn't really bad.  But the lead singer.. phew!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCK5Gh36sEo

[The Burgomaster]

How about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU6sGrYDtrs

[carchase]

the worse one off the top of my head is the opening song from " 9 deaths of the ninja"

maybe it's because of the dancing girls with the ninja doin his ninja moves while the song is playing.

[lester1/2jr]

"All Time High" from I think 2 different Bruce lee movies. It's kind of like "You light Up my life"

[ulthar]

The "animals are nothing but warm fuzzy friends" theme to the ridiculous docu...I cannot say it...movie ARCTIC TALE.  Nauseating.