Bad Movies from the Future

[clockworkcanary]

I thought it might be fun to make up titles (and possibly premises) for movies we might as well expect Hollywood to push on us next, including sequels we never asked for, remakes we wouldn't want, and a few mix-matching.  Here are some examples:

Snakes on a Unicycle

Hellraiser 85: Straight to F!ck!ng Video

Manos: The Next Generation

Firewalker on Ice

Happy Hands (starring Pee Wee Herman)

Fist of Fury 2: Pee Wee's Revenge

Middle Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Fantastic Fork: Rise of the Silverware

Home Alone in the Dark

Home Alone 9: Lost in Tehran

The Wicker Man Boobs

Saturn 3.5

Santa with Muscles 3 in 3D

Teen Wolf Too 2 in a tutu

Cool as Ice 2: Suicide Pact

Phat Girlz gone wild in Cars with Boys from the Hood

3 Ganjas: High as Hell on Mega Mountain

Santa Claus Conquers the Marshmellow

Children of the Cornholio

The Cars that Ate Cleveland

Titanic 2: Glub Glub Glub (stole that one from my sister)

Police Academy the Remake

The Phantom Penis (starring Michael Jackson)

Heckler vs Kramer

The Howling 0: The Prequel (and no, it doesn't follow the same story either)

Terminator Prequel: Rise of the T25s (look like Torg)

[Joe]

Hellraiser 85: Straight to F!ck!ng Video

im pretty sure they already used that title for part's 5 through 8 already with taglines that read s**t, s**ttier, meh, and christ will you please stop it already 

[Andrew]

They Saved Mae West's Face

Star Wars Episode .1 - Chewbacca's Grandmother Has A Bad Hair Day

Jungle Hell II, Sabu Boogaloo

Titanic 2
(I don't know how they'd do it, but you know somebody is chomping at the bit for a sequel.  Maybe it would be the story of another pair of star-crossed lovers.  They could show them making out in a car near the pair from the first movie.)

Gecko
(A huge, talking gecko terrorizes London.)

Donkey Kong - The Movie

[CheezeFlixz]

Titanic 2
(I don't know how they'd do it, but you know somebody is chomping at the bit for a sequel.  Maybe it would be the story of another pair of star-crossed lovers.  They could show them making out in a car near the pair from the first movie.)

It could be a ghost ship of the real Titanic and the cast would be bloated zombies. It could star Leonardo DeCapitated

[clockworkcanary]

Isn't that about the truth regarding the Hellraiser sequels.  Heheh


Full Metalhead Jacket: Denim and Leather

New Jack Ass City

Chasing Ernie

A Nightmare on Elmo's Street

Beverly Rockabillies

A Clockwork Apple

Robot Jox Itch

Deadly Friend...with Benefits

Raging Bullwinkle 2

Once Beaten (twice shy)

My Bestfriend is an Umpire

Firefly in the Sky

Bad News Bears go to Kabul

Debbie Does Nepal

Catwoman 3: Where the F is Batman

Dirty Slam Dancing

[Just Plain Horse]

How about:

GINO vs. Gecko vs. Boa: CGI Hell

Mystery Science Theater, the Movie 2: Bring Back Joel

Beverly Inbreds

Streetfighter vs. Mortal Kombat

Being Adam Sandler

Sexually Confused Drug Addicted Ninja Turtles

Q*bert, the Movie

[clockworkcanary]

Qbert vs Pac Man: Hell in a Cell

Baby Got Back to the Future: Ass from the Past

Batnipple and Robin Rubber Lips 2

The Three Amigas

Down and Out with the Beverly Hillbillies

Fast Times in Walnut Grove

One Flew Over Count Dooku's Nest

Stop...or My Mom Will Shoot Heroin

[Bill C.]

War Games 2: The Dead Code....no, wait, that's a real film...

The Devil Wears Prada 2: Pink Slip

Ultraviolet: Devolution

Battlefield Earth: Rise of the Space Bankers

Fed-Ex: The Kevin and Britney Story

Death Race 2010

EDIT: negative karma?  Damn...

[LilCerberus]

Fear of the Dark of the Night of the Blood of the Monster of the Horror of the Beast of the Evil of the Serpent of the Demon of the Pit of the Terror of the...

[clockworkcanary]

Dawn of the Dead Milkmen

Weekend at Bernies 4: Man, that dude really reeeeeks about now!

Aquaman Returns

Lady in the Water Cooler: blub blub blub

Can't Stop the Music: The Animated Movie

Analyze These

The Moped (sequel to "The Car"): Satan possesses a moped and kills an entire town of 3 villagers

Killer Clowns from the Capitol: both sides of the aisle

Pac Man Beyond

Booger Nights

Joy Luck Club 4: Something better happen this time dammit

Pauly Shore is Dead 2: Really, he really is dead this time, we promise

Santa with Muscles: Special $h!t Brown Edition

Sextette 2: Need I say more...

[raj]

Santa Claus Conquers the Jupiterians

Die Hard part 127

Conan the Governatorian.

King Kong II:  Electric Boogaloo

[Doc Daneeka]

The Critters on a Conveyance series

*Badgers on a Tram

*Sheep in a Jeep

*Spiders on a Glider

*Alligators on an Golf Cart

*Chimps on a Blimp

*Tigers on a Bike

*Antelopes in a Taxi

*Bulls in a China Shop

*Seals on Wheels

*Horses on a Sidewalk

*Sharks on a Tractor

*Ants in Your Pants

*Frogs on a Log

*Spiders on a Glider

*Zebras on a Zeppelin

*Fish on a Dish

*Bugs on a Camel

*Elephants on an Elevator

*Salamanders on a Salad

*Platypus on a Water Raft

*Snakes in Plane Clothing

*Killer Bees in a Bar

*Geese on the Hindenburg

*Goats on a Boat

*Cats on a Bus

*Amoebas on a Unicycle

*Hamsters on a Hovercraft

*Squirrels on a Scooter

*Llamas on a Lland Rover

*Rabbits on a Rotating Plinth

*Grues on a Garbage Truck

*Rhinos on a Rollercoaster

*Bears on a Boat

*Bears on a Boat, Teddy Bears that is, Teddy Bears filled with poisonous snakes

*Piranhas on an Escalator

*Black Dicks on an anus

*Bears on a Submarine

*Dude, Where's My Snakes?

*Steaks On A Train

*Pixels on a .Png

*Cobra Star-ship on a Plane

*David Bowie on a Plane

*Cobain On A Plane (He can't complain!)

*bin laden on a goat

*Alligators on an Elevator

*Chimps on a Blimp

*Braces in a mouth

*Tigers on a Bike

*Women in a Prison

*Antalope in a Taxi

*Ants in the Frosted Flakes

*Charles on a dog

*Snakes on the Astral Plane

*Fat b***h in a Cake shop

*Black kid in a rich white city

*Snakes on a Plane II: Mile High Club

*Star Wars Episode VII: Snakes on a Star Destroyer

*Snakes in The Vatican

*The Snakes on a Plane Code

*Snakes on Elaine

*Snakes in a Drain

*Snakes on a Train

*Snakes on a Plane: Red Eye

*Snakes in Ukraine

*Snakes on a Cartesian Plane

*Snakes on Cocaine

*Snakes on yo Momma!

*Harry Potter and the Snapes on a Plane

*Horses on a Sidewalk (Europe)

*Jesus on a Cross

*Sharks on a Tractor

*Dykes on a Bike

*Ants in Your Pants

*Fecal Matter on a Treacle Platter

*Blood on a Hooker

*Frog on a log

*Spiders on a Glider

*Scorpion on a Lady's Face

*Steaks on a Plate

*Planes on a Snake: Big Snake

*Rakes on a Crane

*Snakes on a Higher Plane of Existence

*Snakes on Campaign

*Snakey does Dallas

*Badgers on a Tram

*Snakey Breaky Heart - Billy Reptilus

*Trouser Snakes on a Plane

*Zebras on a Zeppelin

*Fish On A Dish

*Camels On A Terrorist

*Saddam on a rope

*A Fat Man Anywhere

*Snakes In The Rain

*Bear At The Fair

*Samuel L Jackson On Michelle Paxton

*Yoda On Buddha

*David Blane on a Plane

*Snakes Making An Insurance Claim

*Snakes Bringing It Like Rain

*Snakes On An Argand Plane

*Terrorist on a Camel

*Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Men on a Plane

*Oscar Wilde on a Plane

*Samuel L. Jackson on a Plane

*Snakes on Ladders

*Planes on a Samuel L. Jackson

*Waiter, there's a Snake on my Plane!

*Snakes on MySpace

*Cakes on a Plane

*Elephants On A Elevator

*Terrorists on a Plane

*Platypus On A Plane

*Chicks on Dicks

*Snakes Controlling a Crane

*Snakes in Plane Clothing

*Dead Horses on a Plane

*Asians on a Coach

*Some ''{{Noun plural}}'' on a {{Noun}}

*Rooney on a Granny

*Pedophiles in a Nursery

*Hydraulic Brakes on a Political Campaign

*Fat From those Steaks in a Capillary Vein

*Snakes on a plane with propane, what a shame

*Snakes on sexy jane (from the same people who brought you ''[[fun with fockses]] ("Yiff Yiff!")'')

*Snakes on a Riverboat

*The Queen on Mr Sheen

*Riverboat on a Plane

*Snakes on the Titanic

*Killer Bees on a Plane

*Snakes in a Tornado

*Snakes in Talons

*Sharks on a Plane

*Snakes on the Hindenburg

*Snakes in a Towering Inferno

*Piles on Tony Blair's Smile

*Snakes on the Dancefloor

*Rakes on leaves

*Powell on a horse

*Goats on a Boat

*Snakes 2 - Electric Boogaloo

*Monty Pythons on a Flying Circus

*nukes on a plane

*Snakes on a Satellite of Love

*Cats on a Bus

*Amebas on a unicycle

*Congressman Mark Foley on a Boy

But really, the only one of these that will ever get made is the direct to video "Snakes on a Plane 2"  starring MC Hammer

Yes, some of these are actually mine

[LilCerberus]

Uh, Briggs, you mentioned these more than once.

*Sheep in a Jeep
*Spiders on a Glider
*Chimps on a Blimp
*Tigers on a Bike
*Sharks on a Tractor
*Ants in Your Pants
*Frog on a log
*Badgers on a Tram
*Zebras on a Zeppelin
*Fish On A Dish
*Elephants On A Elevator
*Terrorists on a Plane
*Salamanders On A Salad
*Snakes in Plane Clothing
*Goats on a Boat

[Doc Daneeka]

Whoops, they kept some after they made the first purge on the list, I just copy and paste all they put up. Lol.

[Yaddo 42]

Leonard Part 6, Part 2: Do as I Say Not as I Do
Happy Feet II: The Athlete's Foot Strikes Back
Open Seasoning: Curry Pepper Venison
National Security 2: Rumsfeld Boogaloo
I Really Do Still Know What You Did Last Summer: I Just Can't Get this Year Thing Straight Since It Was About Ten Years Ago...
Scary Little White Chicks & Dragons: Wayans Bros. Meltdown
Beerfest 2: They Gotta Pee Sometime
XXX3: Not an X-Men Movie
Fast and the Furious 4: Stuck Behind the Old People
Soul Plane 2: Flying While Muslim
Friday the 13th: Jason Vs. Ice Cube
Jeepers Creepers 3: The Director's Still A Perv
Witchcraft XXXIII: Just Rent the Real Porn
Full Metal Alchemist's Jacket: The Elrics Say Semper Fi
Mission Impossible 4: Getting Financing
Pretty Woman 2: Crack Ho on the Go
Borat 2: Oh, Never Mind, You Figured it Out
How Stella Got Her Groove Back: the DJ Years
Spun Part 2: Even Spunnier