Meet the Applegates

[Fausto]

MEET THE APPLEGATES
Rated: R
3 slimes
1991 New World/Anchor Bay
Submitted by Fausto


THE CHARACTERS

Dick Applegate-Patriarch of the Applegate household, has an affair with his skanky secretary

Jane Applegate-Dick's wife, becomes obcessed with spending money

Sally Applegate-Dick and Jane's teenage daughter, gets knocked up and starts dating her female lamaze coach

Johnny Applegate-Dick and Jane's son, his hobbies include bug collecting and smoking marijuana

Spot Applegate-The family pet, gets eaten by a dog and mounted on the Sampson's wall

Greg Sampson-Glenn Shadix! Nosy neighbor who also happens to be an exterminator

Vince Sampson-Greg's son, horny football star who cannot understand the word no, gets cocooned

Kevin and Kenny-Twin drug dealers and friends of Johnny, get cocooned

Aunt Bea-Dabney Coleman! Queen of the insect colony, has an unusually thick mustache for a woman; gets crushed



LESSONS LEARNED

Insects do not understand the concept of a credit limit.

Maple syrup makes for a nutritious breakfast beverage.

"I dont wanna do this" can be easily misinterpereted as "I want you inside me".

Blowing reefer smoke into a dog's face can cause it to transform into a giant housefly.

If a strange family brings a pie to a barbecue with the assurance that its made from "an old family recipe", dont eat it.

A praying mantis is actually a type of cockroach.

Shoving a pregnant woman is okay, as long as she shoves first.

Sometimes, the term "in the closet" should be taken in the most literal sense.


THE PLOT

Now this is a weird movie. A black comedy, though not necessarily funny ha-ha, funny strange, if anything. The humans are destroying the brazilian rain forests at an allarming rate, and a group of concerned Brazillian cockroaches (who, oddly enough, look like giant praying mantises) have decided to deal with the problem by exterminating the human race once and for all. In order to accomplish this goal, a family of the insects, who have apparently mastered the ability to mutate into human form, will infiltrate suburbia and cause a nuclear meltdown, killing humanity but leaving all of insectkind unharmed.

Following national statistics and a template provided by a 1950's picture book, the abnormally normal Applegate clan is formed. At the beginning, they live the way they assume everyone else lives, and things are fine. One by one, however, each family member falls prey to modern times: Dick is seduced (and later blackmailed) by his secretary, Jane discovers the magic of instant credit and goes on a neverending shopping spree, Sally gets raped (wait a minute, I thought this was a comedy...) and impregnated, Johnny steals money and gets hooked on dope, and poor Spot gets squashed. To make the situation even worse, the queen of the colony gets tired of the Applegates' procrastination and decides to finish the job herself. Chaos ensues.

Somewhere along the line there was supposed to be some sort of message about how we need to save the environment and all, but that seems to have gotten lost. What we actually get is a study on how scewed up society has gotten since the era of the nuclear family. The monster bug effects are not unimpressive, and there's enough social satire to keep the audience amused. However, I certainly wouldnt recommend this film to anyone looking for a 'feel good' comedy.

[Scott]

That was strange. I was just thinking about this film over the weekend. I was trying to think of all the good neighbor films and MEET THE APPLEGATES was one of three that included THE BURBS and NIEGHBORS starring Jim Belushi and Dan Ackroyd.

[Joe]

I LOVE THIS FLICK! i need this movie on dvd.


dick:aunt bea are you ok?
bea: nothin some a***ole tried to rape me.

classic s**te if i do say so myself.

[Joe]

it was showing how complicated we make our lives and in doing so we then start depending on things such as money and dope. while and insects life is very simple and natural. at least thats what i think they were trying to get across and that  by us having these need such as a shopping mall we destroy other creatures homes for somethin we dont really need.

ALRIGHT! APPLEBONE!

[Scott]

Thanks Isaac for the correction. Not a great film, but I liked it.

[Joe]

i dont think its a good film by any means i just think its funny.