Things I learned from the movies.....

[Poogie]

THINGS I LEARND FROM THE MOVIES
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. There is never any dust or lint in the ventilation ducts.
If you need to reload you gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the refrigerator door and use that light instead.
At night, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames or explode.
The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a baseball stadium.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
Although in the present day it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. It only wastes time.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

That was more than I thought..    

Can you think of any more?

I forgot to put on here that I found this list on the internet...no way could I have thought of all these by myself. 

[Viktorcrayon]

Mediaval peasants actually pretty much had perfect teeth. It was before dentists, but it was also before the sugar industry. They found corpses of people at sea, from medieval times, and they all had a perfect set of teeth!!!

Apart from that, spot on.

[Menard]

Mediaval peasants actually pretty much had perfect teeth. It was before dentists, but it was also before the sugar industry. They found corpses of people at sea, from medieval times, and they all had a perfect set of teeth!!!

Apart from that, spot on.

I would seriously like to see your source of information on that.

[Viktorcrayon]

I tried googling briefly, and i can't find it, but it's from one of Terry Joneses (yes, the python) history programs.

But it is known in medicine today, that tooth decay is caused by a bacterium in the mouth which turns sugar into lactic acid.

[soylentgreen]

Things I learned from the movies...
When a phone conversation is abruptly terminated by one party...a dial tone will come on instantly.

[Menard]

I tried googling briefly, and i can't find it, but it's from one of Terry Joneses (yes, the python) history programs.

But it is known in medicine today, that tooth decay is caused by a bacterium in the mouth which turns sugar into lactic acid.

That's still quite a stretch. Sugar is not a modern invention, it exists naturally in various foods. A toothbrush and toothpaste are modern inventions. Of course, one could deduce a theory of dental health in medieval times based on the short lifespans of people; they didn't live long enough to develop that serious of problems. Regardless of tooth decay or not, they would have had discolored teeth which were, at least, slightly crooked due to a lack of dental appliances; not to mention that the cure for a toothache was the remove the tooth (although in ancient times there was a theory that a worm caused a toothache, so the cure was to stick a pin in the gums to kill the worm; the pain alone probably made the person forget about their toothache momentarily). All cultures in all times made mention of and had treatments for toothaches.

[Viktorcrayon]

Menard, everything you put in that post is completely true. They didn't live long enough for their teeth to become messed up.

But still... ofcourse suger exists naturally in nature, but the invention of refined sugar is a modern thing. The sugar from eating some fruit is virtually nothing, compared to the modern industry that put sugar in everything.

If people didnt drink soda or ate at mcdonalds, many dentists would be out of a job.

[Menard]

Menard, everything you put in that post is completely true. They didn't live long enough for their teeth to become messed up.

But still... ofcourse suger exists naturally in nature, but the invention of refined sugar is a modern thing. The sugar from eating some fruit is virtually nothing, compared to the modern industry that put sugar in everything.

If people didnt drink soda or ate at mcdonalds, many dentists would be out of a job.

Anything which is refined certainly has its drawbacks. Heart disease, though it has always existed, has had such an increase in occurance in the 20th Century that it has been referred to as a phenomenon of the 20th Century (yes, I know it is the 21st Century now ). Interestingly, the improved milling of grain, allowing for the complete removal of the hull and germ from the grain coincides with the advanced development of heart disease.

Coincidence? Maybe; but the removal of most any nutritional value from a food source which was, and is, so much a part of people's daily diets has to have an affect somewhere.

Of course, there is the improved capabilities of detection and diagnosis which certainly could account for some of it as well. Previous to the 19th century, doctors were often looked upon, in certain societies, as a servant class, much the same as a butcher, baker, or candlestick maker, there to provide a service. As the 19th century proceeded, so did an amazing amount of medical knowledge, and so did the societal position of doctors; making it a more desireable occupation.

One thing that has changed, though, is that people of old put up with a lot more personal discomfort than we would today; largely because they didn't have any other choice.

Overall, however, people eat better, are healthier, and live longer today than at any time in history. Yes, we have just as many things which can cause us harm today, but many more ways to deal with them.

In my travels, I have met people advanced in their years who basically ate meats and vegetables, and not much else. Those who did not take care of their teeth had them largely rotted out. We have all seen pictures of people in third world countries who have rotted and crooked teeth, and nobody is tossing them Snickers bars.

Terry Jones may have a point to make on selected evidence to explain why everyone in one of his films in a medieval setting has perfect teeth, but it comes down to what a lawyer told me once: you can prove any point you want with any evidence you want, but it comes down to who can do a better job of convincing others.

[Trevor]

  Hi Poogie: here's another for you:

Any actor attempting to play a South African in a movie will inevitably get the accent wrong, way wrong. Witness Joss Ackland, Derrick O'Connor, Donald Sutherland, Marlon Brando, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, John Thaw, Denzel Washington, Kevin Kline, Jurgen Prochnow, etc.

The only word I can use here is eina, eina, eina ~ three words meaning OUCH in South African slang.

[Him]

Attractive women are always single and available.

The French are sex addicts.

The English are evil.

[Jack]

Many ancient peoples, especially those living on tropical islands, had six-pack abs and apparently trained regularly with a Bowflex.

Everything except glass is bulletproof.

A jet airliner in flight is almost completely silent inside.

Human beings do not have peripheral vision.

Human beings do not have common sense.

Almost everyone in the US Military is a Navy SEAL.  Those who aren't are Rangers.   

A typical hand grenade produces a fireball ten feet across.

Everyone has always been politically correct, going all the way back to 2,000 BC.

Large corporations often employ people who despise large corporations, and usually make them high-ranking managers.

The average ammunition capacity for a handgun is 50 rounds, for a submachine gun, unlimited.

Martial arts are done in slow motion.

Being hit in the face numerous times leaves absolutely no bruises.

[Automan2000]

In Medieval times women didn't bother with clothes unless it was snowing.

[sideorderofninjas]

Any cop beating crooks near any body of water will have at least one of the crooks thrown in the fountain, pond, lake, sea, ocean...

All secret evil plans by large corporations are hidden in computer systems that could be hacked into by a 4 year old using a speak and spell. 

[raj]

At night, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Well, yes, they should.

And no matter what city you are in -- even New York -- you will always be able to find a parking spot right in front of whatever building you need to go into.

[Him]

Woman always dress and undress in front of a window with the curtains open.