Dating Advice?

[CheezeFlixz]

Side note;  I find women flock around me in the supermarket when I have my son with me.  Why is that?

I think it's the frilly collar and bowl haircut they are drawn too.

[Mr. DS]

Side note;  I find women flock around me in the supermarket when I have my son with me.  Why is that?

I think it's the frilly collar and bowl haircut they are drawn too.

Lol...Karma!   

[Shadow]

I can count on one hand (and with one finger) the number of times I asked a woman out. Dating for me was a nightmare. I was always too shy and too self conscious when meeting people for the first time to come off as confident. Thank god for the internet (blessed be Al Gore)! Once I could meet women online, it was easy to get to know them through emails and phone calls before mutually agreeing to meet in person. By that point I knew them well enough to be relaxed and halfway charming (ok, more like 30%). Doing things that way scored me lots of...good times. That's how I met Mrs. Shadow.

[JaseSF]

Truthfully, I'm not sure there's anything that can help me. I just tense up way too easily and that definitely is oft-putting to women who definitely prefer a calm guy who is confident and has his act together. I think I still need to get my act together. It doesn't help that the whole thing doesn't often seem worth the effort to me.

[CheezeFlixz]

In some circles I would have been called a 'player' in others a 'dog' ... most an SOB.

I never had trouble asking women out and if I asked a girl out in front of her friend and she said "No" ... I'd say "Oh good, I was afraid I was going to lose that bet." then I'd turn to her friend and ask her out. Some times the freind would say yes and if they said no, move on there are more fish in the sea.
It was the old playing the odds things ... that if you went into a bar and started asking every girl in the bar if she wanted to go back to your place and get happy, one of them would say yes. You might have to ask 100 women first  and get slapped a few times, but you'll hit a yes somewhere along the line, it's just the odds. Now granted this was back in the day before you could catch crap that would kill you, pretty much your greatest risk was needing a shot down the road.

I remember when I ask my now wife out the first time, she would even talk to me or look in my general direction, nothing she was a snob. So I, being young and obnoxious (now I'm just old and obnoxious) and very glassy eyed took a bar coaster and wrote my number down on it and stuck it right in her cleavage and said call me when you brave enough ... what the hell I figured the odds if her actually calling was 1 in a million anyway ... and off I went thinking that coaster was already in the trash, ripped up, or fading out with beer bottle sweat. See I knew her sister's and they had told me that she was sick of men, that they are all wimps and pussies and not a one had balls ... this was her words to her sisters, and they knew I was rather bold. And we were in a small town so more or less everyone kinda of knew everyone in a way. So what better way to make a impression on snobbette man hater, good or bad than to be assertive and bossy.
Well me and friend left and went back to the house I was living in and continued to party until about 2AM at about 4AM the phone rang. It was snobbette calling to tell me what a ass I am, a jerk, how rude I was to stick that coaster "between my tits" that she should have decked me right there etc etc ... so I let her get it all out and then said "So when do you want to go out?" "GO OUT? ... why I wouldn't go out with you if you was the last man on earth!" she exclaimed.
Being a wiseass I said "Luckily I'm not the last man on earth so that leave my opinions open, how about next Fri? I'll pick you up at say 7?" She continued to tell me she wasn't going out with me, and that I didn't even know where she lived, and I told told she was going out otherwise she wouldn't have kept my number and that she lived at 103 Chapelwood Ct, I have a phone book I'm not a moron. (Actually her sister told me.)
Long long story less long we talked about 4 hours on the phone until it was about 8AM before we hung up and I had to go to work that afternoon and had to get some sleep. (2nd Shift party lifestyle) She found out I wasn't the obnoxious ass she thought I was and I found out she wasn't the snob I thought she was and we talk many long hours that week and did go out that Fri at 7 and 4 weeks later her lease ran out and she moved in with me and 20 years later I still can't get her snobby ass to leave. And this past August the 5th we'd been married 18 years and I still stick noted in her cleavage when I want to get her attention, they're a little less dramatic now, more along the lines "Don't forget Milk and Bread" 

[JaseSF]

Yes I am aware that women think I'm a wussy for stating that "not worth the effort" thing. I know they hate that type of thinking.  It's like I said ... I need to get my act together. I need to start believing in myself and recognizing the fact that most women don't deserve a guy like me.  What you did Cheeze was  indeed a ballsy thing to do. Props to you for that.

The alcohol thing isn't an option to get me into gear either although I'm sure many think I need such a boost of some sort. I don't drink. This does tend to make me decidedly unpopular where I live. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. And I don't intend to no matter what.   

[BTM]

Side note;  I find women flock around me in the supermarket when I have my son with me.  Why is that?

How old is your son?  Is he young and cute?  Girls like cute things, so they flock around to see them.  Why do you think I take my s**tzus our for walks in the park all the time, cause I like the exercise?  Hell, no!

Sadly, shi-tzus are friendly, but they're not as outgoing as I'd like.. need a dog that'll home in on cute girls on command and give them the, "Pet me, pet me!" look... 

[Susan]

Side note;  I find women flock around me in the supermarket when I have my son with me.  Why is that?

How old is your son?  Is he young and cute?  Girl like cute things, so they flock around to see them.  Why do you think I take my s**tzus our for walks in the park all the time, cause I like the exercise?  Hell, no!

Sadly, shi-tzus are friendly, but they're not as outgoing as I'd like.. need a dog that'll home in on cute and command and give them the, "Pet me, pet me!" look... 

If his son is 21 it might explain alot...

[Mr. DS]

Yep hes 21 and buys all my drinks for me as well. 

Actually he's one and a half and he usually gets the "oh he's so cute" thing.  Which means he looks nothing like his father.     I always joke with my wife whenever I get home from the supermarket on how many numbers I got while I was there.  He knows to smile and wave at all the pretty girls though, its amusing. 

[Susan]

Yep hes 21 and buys all my drinks for me as well. 

Actually he's one and a half and he usually gets the "oh he's so cute" thing.  Which means he looks nothing like his father.     I always joke with my wife whenever I get home from the supermarket on how many numbers I got while I was there.  He knows to smile and wave at all the pretty girls though, its amusing. 

Women are attracted to men with children in public because when they are without the wife it portrays a very nurturing characteristic women want. Women like men who love their kids, not just who father them, and when they do daddy things with their kids it gets them attention. Then they go home and beat their husbands and say "why can't you be more like that? How come you never wanna take little jr out shopping??"

[CheezeFlixz]

"why can't you be more like that? How come you never wanna take little jr out shopping??"

I had my girls out with me not long ago and I don't wear a wedding band do to my work. We were in this store doing school shopping, and this lady was about my age said "Oh it's great to see the single Dad out with the kids!" ... and one of my girls who is a biggest smart ass as I am, looks at me and said in a rather snotty tone right in front of this women "Does Mom know you're single?" Embarrassed the women to death and as  she walked off quickly, I laughed and said "No, don't tell her."

[Zapranoth]

Must be an interesting time around the dinner table in your house.   

Jase, more power to you for not drinking, smoking, and frying neurons.
If it doesn't seem worth it to you, then don't.  Just do something else... like watch reallly bad movies, and wait for Starcraft 2 to be released.  :)

[RCMerchant]

Jase, more power to you for not drinking, smoking, and frying neurons.
If it doesn't seem worth it to you, then don't.  Just do something else... like watch reallly bad movies, and wait for Starcraft 2 to be released.  :)

And being a virgin the rest of your life!

KIDDING!!! I kid! 

When I was single,I drank like a fish,went to bars,tried to be "cool"...I wound up an alcholic on the balls of my ass. And it did NOTHING but scare women off! I think NOT following the pack will  get you the "right " kinda girl,in the long run...not some two bit bar tramp.
Unless you WANT a 2 bit bar tramp....! (sorry...I'm weak...)

[HappyGilmore]

Yes I am aware that women think I'm a wussy for stating that "not worth the effort" thing. I know they hate that type of thinking.  It's like I said ... I need to get my act together. I need to start believing in myself and recognizing the fact that most women don't deserve a guy like me.  What you did Cheeze was  indeed a ballsy thing to do. Props to you for that.

The alcohol thing isn't an option to get me into gear either although I'm sure many think I need such a boost of some sort. I don't drink. This does tend to make me decidedly unpopular where I live. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. And I don't intend to no matter what.   

I hate the fact that people somewhat expect you to drink if you go out.  They do it here too.

I can have fun without drinking.  If anything, I have one beer, but stick to water/soda.

[Susan]

I never got that, i'm a grown a$$ adult who can decide if i wanna drink. I think it makes the drinkers feel more comfortable for some reason, gives them someone to rag on. I've actually been to parties and decided i didn't want to get smashed so I didn't drink and had people make an entire ordeal out of the fact i wasn't drinking. When i'm drinking i never come down on someone who isn't, in fact i'm the one defending them and telling everyone else to mind their own business. I respect free choice

BUT, it is the social lubricant. I would just be wary of it on first dates. It can make people obnoxious, it can also also make people like eachother who would normally not like eachother more sober. A great first date is one where you don't "have to" drink because you're having enough fun as it is. You can also tell when the date isn't going well one one party suggests to go to a bar and get some drinks. In other words "it really sucks being around you sober, but maybe you'll put out after a few beers"