Difference between cats and dogs

[Dennis]

This is a good illustration of the difference.

Diary Excerpts

The Dog's Diary

8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! my favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am, Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now!


Any other stories, jokes, etc. that illustrate the difference 

[Zapranoth]

The charming thing about cats is that they are the most deeply, sincerely, and above all automatically self-centered animals in all of creation.

The cat will just automatically do whatever is best for her, immediately, without an idea of doing otherwise, or worrying about it.

You get up, and the cat automatically takes the warm spot you left.

If she can see a bit of the bottom of her food bowl, she becomes concerned, and lets you know about it.

Wants in.  Wants out.  In.  ....

Cats are just great, aren't they?     But for the record I love cats and dogs, both.

[Dennis]

We have with us 2 beagles, 3 cats, and 1 pigeon. The dogs are just happy to be anywhere we are, the cats apparently own the house and everything in it, all you have to do is ask them and they tell you. The pigeon just sort of hangs out in her cage and spy's on the cats.

[quabrot]

I am a cat person hardcore.  I love my tabby.  I've never really liked dogs.  (But I always tend to date girls that love them...)

But I understand why people may dislike cats, as illustrated in this classic webcomic: http://www.nataliedee.com/082304/why-i-hate-cats.jpg

[RCMerchant]

Dogs see you as master.
Cats see you as slave.

[trekgeezer]

Dog's can be a good friend, protector, and some times pain in the butt.

Cat's can be cute but mostly they  make good shot puts..

[Andrew]

Dog's can be a good friend, protector, and some times pain in the butt.

Cat's can be cute but mostly they  make good shot puts..

When we lived in an apartment in Marietta, GA, I was able to move the cat from underfoot in the kitchen to the loveseat in our living room without leaving the kitchen.  That is impressive, because the toss actually required putting a spin on the feline to curve it around the corner of the dining room.

Katie finally asked me to stop doing that.

[Torgo]

While I like both cats and dogs, I wouldn't ever want to own a dog myself. Too much maintenance.

My current cat Toonces just turned 17(!) this month and is still going strong despite having some kidney trouble which is commone with old cats.

[Doc Daneeka]

Dogs see you as master.
Cats see you as slave.

Yes, but cats make kind, humble patrons whilst dogs constantly attempt to kill or maim their masters for their money ala Nick-Nack.

This reminds me of a poem I once heard

You wake up in bed, where you find yourself strapped to the hood of a car being driven by a pack of wild dogs rapidly through town.

You wake up in bed with a pack of wild dogs who proceed to tear you apart while you sleep.

You blow out the candles on your birthday cake, after which a pack of wild dogs burst out of it and tear you apart.

You wake up in the morning to find a pack of wild dogs is piloting a crane through your house.

(Cue Phantasm theme)

[fortunato]

Cats are like roommates- they either annoy you or ignore you.
Dogs are more like mentally-retarded babies- they always need attention.

I love cats. You can keep your dogs off my property.

[RCMerchant]

We own two cats...Shadow and Tohru (don't ask me where Tohru's  name came from...Angel,Tara Sue's daughter named her) and one dog ,Ted,who we adopted because his previous owner was a drunk who moved away and deserted him. He's a nice old boy (he's 8  in people years). I like them all.  I prefer dogs,though...you could  fell like the lowest scum on Earth...but your dog will love you. Stupid dogs.God bless 'em.

[Ash]

I'm a cat person myself.
I love their arragance and independence.

I used to love dogs as a kid but as I've grown older, I don't like them as much.
Especially big dogs.  They make me nervous when they jump up on me and put their dirty paws on my shirt.  I hate it when they do that.
I've never had any bad experiences with big dogs in the past...I just don't care for them now.
Their total dependence and constant need for attention is what turns me off of most dogs nowadays.

I actually like smaller dogs.  But not the anklebiting yippers like Pomeranians.
I'd like to get a Miniature Pincer and give it a big name like Conan or Nitro.  

[Doc Daneeka]

don't ask me where Tohru's name came from

Jackie Chan Adventures?

[RCMerchant]

Dog's can be a good friend, protector, and some times pain in the butt.

Cat's can be cute but mostly they  make good shot puts..

This may seem cruel(seem cruel,hell! IS cruel) but a true story,nontheless:
I guy I used to know back in the 80's (not sure exactly when..the 80's are sorta blurry now...) went with me and two girls to the girl's house in Dowajac. We were drunk,(usual for me at the time) and the girl's were in the kitchen or sometihing, fetching some soda pop. Anyway,a cat walks in the room,and starts curlinling around Dave's (I think his name was Davve) feet, and I was taking a big ol' slug offa my whiskey bottle when he drop kicked the cat about 1o feet across the room! It hit the wall just as the girls walked around the corner into the room! All they caught was the cat zooming off the floor and hightailing it. I had a mouthful of booze which came spitting out of my mouth,because ...I don't know..it was so dam funny! One of the girls said" What's wrong with that crazy cat now?" Dave said " I dunno. Musta seen a mouse."  It was funny at the time...

[Shadow]

We own two cats...Shadow and Tohru

Excellent name. 

I like animals, so I really like both cats and dogs, and have owned several of each over the decades. That being said, I prefer dogs. In fact, I prefer dogs to most people. Like Ash, I'm not fond of dogs that always need your attention. I've been lucky in that I've owned dogs that were able to get along fine without constant attention. Just being in the same room was good enough for them at times. Conversely, I don't want a pet that doesn't ever want to play or prefers to be left alone all the time.

The current canine residents at Shadow Manor:

Sandrine Liliane aka Sandy:


And Janus Argus Griffinus aka JAG: