A Future President

[Inyarear]

"History is made by stupid people; clever people wouldn't even try..."

[DodgingGrunge]

I had no knowledge that sweatshop labor was being used to produce my clothing line.  Both me and my partner, Wal-Mart, are deeply saddened by this realization and are doing everything in our power to remedy it.

[Andrew]

Don King called a press conference to personally disavow any use of a steroid-based hair relaxer.

[sideorderofninjas]

Both Houses of Congress, I have to come to calm the fears of the American public...Crystal Pepsi does not alter a person's fashion sense one single iota...

[MeanStreaka4337]

If that Mike Judge A-hole tries to get me to do Idiocracy 2. I'm gonna whup his @$$.

[The Burgomaster]

Richard Roundtree announces the blaxploitation version of THE INCREDIBLE HULK.

[BlackAngel75]

Carl Weathers announce the making for of Rocky 7: Son of Apollo.

[Susan]

[AnubisVonMojo]

Condoleezza Rice makes her bid for the presidency. "If one of you asks me one more f*cking question about how I plan on fixing the situation in Iraq, I'm gonna make your outsides look like you insides! Now tell me I'm beautiful! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!"

[Dennis]

I am not a crook.

[Yaddo 42]

Thulsa Doom was a big geek even into his college years.

[Poogie]

" I know, I know, I'm wearing my wifes moo moo, just get past it, my suit is being altered as I speak. Now let's get back to the real issues."

Question from audience: " Excuse me sir, is you're hair getting altered too?"

[Goji_girl]

... oh yeah, and to the owner of a yellow hummer, your car is parked on a guy.

[Mr. DS]

See I told you all that I could make an outfit from I Party supplies. 

[jdlarch]

Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper...and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and fuuuurrrious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!