Warriors of the Apocalypse (1985)

[Mofo Rising]

Before I go any further:

Savage Kabuki Midgets!

Warriors of the Apocalypse is, as you may have guessed, a post-apocalyptic film.  Filmed in the Philippines on the cheap, it mostly involves a group of five "warriors" wandering around getting in one improbable scenario after the next.  It's not a good movie, but then again it is rather entertaining in its badness.  It's really rather a good example of a bad movie, in that it starts out implausible and remains that way to the bitter end, not once venturing into the treacherous territory of a quality film.

As the film opens, these five guys are wandering the desert when they meet and attack a group of slavers.  In this battle, they are helped out by a mysterious fellow named Anook (Anouk?  Anuk?  Ch'anuuk?) who tells them about his home, the Mountain of Life.  Intrigued, the group follows him into the jungle where the rest of the film takes place.  On the way they are attacked by Savage Kabuki Midgets who can regenerate themselves.  It's okay, though.  They work for the village where Anook is from, which is filled with horny Amazons and a Bickersons-like couple who rule it.  It turns out that...

Heck with it.  This really is a bad film, but I enjoyed it for its sheer ridiculousness.  I'd say 2 out of 5 slimes, possibly higher if you have some friends to make fun of it with.

Amusing side note, while searching for a movie to watch before going to sleep, I came across this tape, which had no box or label.  It was a fabled mystery tape.  Anything could have been on that tape, and it turned out to be Warriors of the Apocalypse!