Recent viewings

[InformationGeek]

Beware!  The Blob:  Man that was a dreadful movie.  It lacks the charm, entertainment, and excitment that the original had.  It had lously actors and poor special effects for the Blob.  I think they actually took a step backwards in that department.

Close Encounters with the 3rd Kind: Ah yes, the only way to make up for that last movie was to watch a way better movie.  This movie had everything, great music, great actors, special effects were ahead of their time, script was good, and it had some slight humor here and there.  The only real problem was that a couple of elements I feel were not explained very well regarding the main male lead.  Other than that, it was great.

[lester1/2jr]

Equalibreum (2002) -  This is a servicable and occasionally interesting saturday night megaplex dark action movie a la too many to name.  It's major flaw is it couldn't possibly be less original or imaginative.  it's JUST 1984 with nothing to distinguish it from thousands of others.   I was in the mood for it so 4/5

[Jim H]

Equalibreum (2002) -  This is a servicable and occasionally interesting saturday night megaplex dark action movie a la too many to name.  It's major flaw is it couldn't possibly be less original or imaginative.  it's JUST 1984 with nothing to distinguish it from thousands of others.   I was in the mood for it so 4/5

I'd note that its plot is more similar to Fahrenheit 451, though its trappings also resemble 1984 and Brave New World.  The film looks great, is well-acted, and has great action scenes (in my mind, possibly the best of its kind from any American film ever).  Those three go a long way for me.  That said, I agree with your rating - I give it an 8/10.  I also saw it pretty recently.

Last night, I watched Navajo Joe.  Really action packed and pretty entertaining for the first half hour or so.  Good music too.  Then it slows waaaaay down for the next like 40 minutes, and concentrates largely on a bunch of unlikeable townspeople.  Almost sunk the film.  It's still entertaining enough to be worth a watch though...  I give it a 6/10.

[Jack]

Joyride 2:  Dead Ahead - Some kids are driving to Vegas, but the car breaks down, they've of course chosen a back road so there's no other traffic, and they set off in search of help.  They find what appears to be an abandoned house, and decide to "borrow" the car they find and drive it to the nearest town.  Unfortunately, the house is owned by a trucker who has been on the road for a while, and he's not too happy to find his car missing.  Even more unfortunately, he's also a psycho and spends the remainder of the movie terrorizing the kids.  I've got very mixed feelings about this one - one the one hand, there's some really good acting, especially on the part of Nicki Aycox, who plays the last girl.  And it's quite successful at creating tension.  But on the other hand, it's painfully predictable, and lacks any sort of plot.  Mad trucker does nasty thing "A" to kids, then nasty thing "B", then "C", etc.  Last girl will certainly survive, etc.  There's just nothing to keep your mind occupied while enduring this torture.   2.5/5. 

[Doggett]

Serenity.

Kinda like Star Wars.
I never saw the programme so I can't really compare it. Am I the only person who finds Whedon's wittisisms a little annoying ?
Anyway, a rag tag crew of space scoundrels go up against an evil alliance and they try to bring down this alliance using a psychic girl and her brother who hitched a ride with them. Dull British villian as always...not that I'm bitter or anything...
It's alright with Nathan Filliion doing his Han Solo schtick. The rest of the chrarcters seem kinda boring and by-the-numbers.
3/5

[Joe the Destroyer]

Horrors of Spider Island- I somehow made it through this movie.  I know what some people are thinking: It's only 77 minutes.  What do you mean you "somehow" made it through the movie?  Believe me, those are 77 minutes I wish I could have back.  Even with the warning of this movie sucking and being on IMDb's Bottom 100, it still didn't prepare me for how absolutely wretched the film was.  I think the film suffered from a few convention errors, which most of us here can live with (bad acting, etc.), but also suffered from the cardinal sin: being boring.  Sure, there were scantily clad women all over the place in this movie.  Being as old as it was, there was no up close nudity. 

The one thing about it that tortured me the most is that I was ready to see the real horrors on SPIDER island, not the sexually repressed assault of SLUT island.  I couldn't tell whether the writer or director just forgot to include the spider aspect of the film, or if it was tacked on by the studio because they didn't think the film would do as well without some corny monster aspect added to it (a bit like Godmonster of Indian Flats).  Maybe I'm over-analyzing this movie, but when it comes to a film that's all about scantily clad women being chased by giant rubber spiders and a guy who looks like a bad knock off of the Wolfman, there shouldn't be much of a brain behind the film, nor should it be as dull as this film was.  Where's the excitement?  Where's the kitsch?  To quote one of the bots from MST3K: "It's economical to not have a script, then you can just film people saying things."  That's exactly what this movie felt like. 

And that's all I've got to say about that. 


EDIT:

Upon further inspection, I find the film has been heavily edited from its original form.  The version I saw still deserves a thumbs down, though. 

[Rev. Powell]

I couldn't tell whether the writer or director just forgot to include the spider aspect of the film, or if it was tacked on by the studio because they didn't think the film would do as well without some corny monster aspect added to it (a bit like Godmonster of Indian Flats). 

I think it was tacked on., but by the directors  The film supposedly had some fully nude scenes when it was first released in the U.S. as an adults only feature under the title IT'S HOT IN PARADISE.  They were hacked off by the censors and it was rereleased as THE HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND to try to get monster-lovin' teenagers to come see it. 

I kind of like it, actually, but its a lot like MANOS.  You have to let yourself be hypnotized by the stupidity of it all, and let go of your preconceptions that a movie should have things like a plot, or characters, and just let your mind float downstream... it's really a bad movie Zen thing.   

[Torgo]

ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO  **1/2 out of ****.   Sporadically funny Kevin Smith film is worth a rental but falls apart in the last third of the film.  Elizabeth Banks is a goddess BTW.

[lester1/2jr]

Space is the PLace (1974)  -  this is a very off kilter but pretty awesome blaxploitation film.   It's pretty much everything you would hope for in a "rare" movie:  while parts of it are confusing,  there are lots of pretty girls and strangeness, low budget but clear film quality and camerawork,  and compelling in a way movies usually aren't, just due to the general attitude and unforgettable images more than the plot or acting or something.   Sun Ra travels from some afro centric planet to play a concert  and his rival guy, working with a couple of racist NASA scientists, wants to stop him and generally menace him.   It's some sort of dispute than spans time and space and has landed in an inner city circa the 70's.  I would definatley watch this again.  extras include footage of Sun Ra in Africa also in the 70's that isshot silent but has more of he and his "arkestra"'s amazing music accompanying it.  They are lke a famous avant garde group.  Even if that kind of music is not your bag , he deserves credit for being alot more colorful and distinguishable than alot of those guys.  4.5 /5

[Jim H]

I just watched Puppet Master 1 and 2.  It's been a long time since I saw any of these films all the way through.

Puppet Master 1 is a reasonably well-made and entertaining film.  It's not spectacular, but I loved the films and the puppets as a kid, and that has stuck with me.  The thing I think I like best is its low-key approach, which gives it an almost fairy tale-like atmosphere.  All of the films are also short and well-paced, something many newer straight-to-video films of the type can not say.  Good stuff.  Difficult for me to rate due to the heavy nostalgia I have for the series though...  A 7 or 8 out of 10.

Puppet Master 2 is not as good of a film as the first.  It does have some entertaining moments and an increased body count, but most of the kill scenes happen incredibly suddenly with little buildup, making them less powerful (THREE of them occur off-camera, which seems ridiculous for a series with such a low body count per film).  Torch is an awesome puppet design though, and I like the guy playing the reanimated Toulon, especially his voice.  Probably a 7/10.

I'm planning to watch the rest of the series, including Puppet Master VS Demonic Toys and Puppet Master: The Legacy, both of which sound pretty terrible (I don't think PMVDT can ever be forgiven for its redesigned puppets - I know I could never really forgive Retro Puppet Master for that).  But I'll get there. 

[InformationGeek]

Remember the Titans: I don't really like sports films all that much, so I wasn't expecting much when I ended up watching this film.  I was quite surprised by what I saw and I say this was a very good film.  The acting is done well, emphasing the relationships between the players, the coaches, and townsfolk quite well.  The setting is nice and message is done quite well without it being thrown in your face.  The movie is a bit predictable, but it still was an enjoyable film.

The Andromeda Strain: Here's a classic sci-fi film based off the novel by Michael Crition (You shall never be forgotten).  The acting was good as well and sense of dread and unknown that came from the virus itself was done quite well.  The science babble often went over my head, but I still managed to understand and get the jest of everything.  Anyways, this was a great movie and I'm glad I watched it.  Still it was a bit boring.

[JaseSF]

The Burning Bed (1984): TV Movie starring Farrah Fawcett based on a true story about an horribly abused woman taking fatal revenge against the brutality of her husband. Much better than I expected on every level, given it's a TV movie and it starred Fawcett. Actually she's terrific in this one and convincingly pulls off her character much better than I would have ever expected of her. The story is quite good and they do leave you guessing about the final verdict the abused mother pushed too far will face for her crime. Paul LeMat is quite despicable as the abusive husband too. **** out of *****

[Jack]

Universal Soldiers - This is the Asylum ripoff.  Don't know what possessed me to stick it in the DVD player again, you'd think I would have learned my lesson the first time.  A group of "soldiers" are trying to get from point A to point B, but they're continually attacked by some sort of genetically modified super soldiers.  Most deaths occur by a spear thrown by someone offscreen.  These people don't really put any effort into actually moving across the terrain, they mostly stand around and scream at each other.  Everything about this movie is a total failure - acting, directing, screenplay - check check and check.  Here's a bit of dialog, as some soldiers observe a Universal Soldier, who's up a tree:

"That's Teleclause." 
"What's a Teleclause?"
"That's his name."
"You named it?"
"It's his code name.  Each of these soldiers was specifically engineered for a different set of skills.  They're all extremely fast.  They have impeccable vision.  They have overdeveloped legs for leaping.  Teleclause was designed to change his physical shape."
"What the f*** was that?"
"Shape shifting."
"Whaddya mean like mystique or something?"
No, Teleclause can only do simple things."
"A little more than scratchin' his balls, don't ya think?"

Well, maybe you had to be there.  Most of the dialog is nonsense, made even more annoying because it's all screamed.  And it's all distorted, like they had the gain on the microphone turned up way too high and everything is over-recorded.  Hard to even give this one any so-bad-it's-good credit.  1.5/5.

The Movie House Massacre (1984) - Directed by Rick Sloane, who gave us Hobgoblins.  This is Rick's first directorial effort, so don't expect it to be as polished as Hobgoblins.  But it's very much in the same style.  Pure dopiness.  Some kids are sent to clean up a movie theater in preparation for its grand opening.  Of course it's haunted by the former owner, but that plays a pretty small part in the plot.  Mostly it's just these kids arguing with each other, and acting as only characters in a Rick Sloane movie can act.  Gotta give it a big so-bad-it's-good rating here, you will just sit with your mouth hanging open, wondering what could possibly be goofier than what you just saw.  It actually manages to create some atmosphere with its $40 Casio keyboard soundtrack.  3/5.

[Jim H]

Just saw They (the horror film).  Not so good.  The creature design is cool, what little you see of it, and there are a few OK suspense and creepy moments... Oh, and I liked the main character's boyfriend.  But otherwise, there just isn't much there. 

Just..  I dunno, not impressive.  It's kind of hard for me to criticize, actually.  I will say a film that took a few elements from this that I enjoyed more was Darkness Falls.  That's not a good film either, but it was certainly more entertaining than They.

4/10.

[Rev. Powell]

NOWHERE (1997): Shallow L.A. teenagers take drugs and have kinky sex all day in preparation for the party of the year, while a rubber alien reptile occasionally stalks and abducts them. Not as fun as it sounds.  Mostly unfunny satire that tries to cover up its lack of ideas and humor with cheap irony and dimestore surrealism; probably should have been titled BILL & TED'S HOMOEROTIC HALLUCINATION.  1.5/5

SPACE MUTINY (MST3K VERSION): With a weightlifting hero, a sexy grandma heroine, a starship captain that looks like Santa Claus, numerous railing deaths, thrilling golf-cart chases, and a bunch of space witches dressed in leotards that are there for no reason, there's plenty to pick on here, and the cast does a fantastic job riffing it.  Everyone seems to focus on Reb Brown's various nicknames, but I think the two funniest parts are the scene at the dance club ("she's presenting like a mandrill!") and the "Santa gets a Bellerian lap dance" scene ("let me just check you twice, here...")  Oh, and the lady who dies, then shows up for work the next day.  Too much good stiff here to mention; probably the funniest Sci-Fi Network era show.  4.5/5