Recent viewings

[FatFreddysCat]

"Restitution" (2011)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4JvMIYWc9s
Godawful indie whodunit that was apparently made up as it went along, about a true-crime writer investigating the mysterious death of a private investigator who'd been framed for a series of murders. I should've known I was in for a turd when the biggest names in the cast were Tom Arnold (!) and Mena Suvari of "American Pie."

I actually busted out laughing when the meek, mild mannered writer character suddenly became a butt kicking, two fisted, sharp shooting action hero about half way thru the movie.

One word: Avoid. I'm gonna have to watch something from The Asylum to get the taste of this P.O.S. out of my mouth.

[Rev. Powell]

CORIOLANUS (2011): Coriolanus becomes a Roman war hero, then tries to become consul but is banished for his anti-plebian rhetoric; he joins up with the Roman's enemies and leads an army against the city.  This is notable as  the only feature film treatment of this second tier Shakespeare play; Ralph Fiennes gives a proud and dangerous performance in the lead role.  The decision to update the action to modern times while leaving the text the same doesn't automatically create contemporary relevance, but it does elicit some chuckles due to the use of CNN-style news updates and panel discussions seen throughout.  3.5/5.

SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972):  Wow oh wow oh wow.  Santa's sled gets stuck in the Florida sand. After the neighborhood children fail to get him out using their livestock (?), the Ice Cream Bunny (I guess) comes in a fire truck to save Christmas.  In the middle, Santa pauses to tell the kids a story, and we watch an entirely different short movie (complete with credits): it looks like a high-school production of the fairy tale "Thumbellina"!  Shot like a home movie with horrible children's singing and a dud of a Santa, the whole mess is actually terribly depressing, and may put you off Christmas for a while.  A short list candidate for the worst movie ever made; it makes you admire the professionalism and continuity of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.   Either 0.5 stars or 5 stars, take your pick.

[lester1/2jr]

claws- yeah that was messed up.

[JaseSF]

The Bishop's Wife (1947): A seemingly eccentric angel named Dudley (Cary Grant) arrives in answer to the prayers of one Bishop Henry Brougham (David Niven) for guidance but what guidance Henry really needs isn't immediately clear. Just how does it tie in with the happiness of Henry's lovely wife Julia (Loretta Young)?

This fun Christmas classic is a delight to watch and it's a shame it really isn't better known. Grant is charming and likable throughout as Dudley the angel and Young lights up the screen as Julia. Niven also does very well in the arguably more challenging role of Henry, a man obsessed with building a huge cathedral but who's seemingly lost sight of the bigger picture and what's truly important in life. A great film that deserves to be better known, the other Christmas classic about an angel. ***** out of ***** stars.

Miracle on 34th Street (1947): A man who claims to be the real, true Santa Claus (Edmund Gwenn) finds himself put on trial to prove wheter or not he's insane. A young lawyer friend of his named Fred Gailey (John Payne) sets out to prove he is in fact the real thing. Kris Kringle himself though is much more concerned with winning over non-believers in the realistic minded Doris Walker (Maureen O' Hara) and her little daughter Susie (a young Natalie Wood).

This classic is an absolute delight. The cast is superb with Gwenn, O'Hara and Wood all very much standing out in their perspective roles. It has comedy, warm-hearted moments, courtroom drama and is full of wonderful moments designed to help  encourage one when it comes to the magic of belief, especially in childhood. ***** out of ***** stars.

[Jack]

Alien Zone (1978) - A horror anthology (there aren't any aliens nor any "zone" by the way).  The wraparound story has a guy stranded on the rainy streets of a city because he can't find his hotel.  He's taken in by a mysterious mortician, who shows him the bodies he's working on, and tells him their stories.  The first concerns a schoolteacher who doesn't like kids and gets her just rewards.  The second is some utterly pointless thing about a guy who videotapes himself killing women in his apartment.  The third is by far the most interesting, with England's most brilliant detective in a battle of intellects with America's most brilliant detective.  The fourth...can't even remember.  Some guy cowering in fear a lot.  The wraparound is pointless as well.  This was bad, boring, full of totally undeveloped and unsympathetic characters, and the video quality was laughably terrible.  But I made it to the end at least    2/5.

[The Burgomaster]

SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972):  Wow oh wow oh wow.  Santa's sled gets stuck in the Florida sand. After the neighborhood children fail to get him out using their livestock (?), the Ice Cream Bunny (I guess) comes in a fire truck to save Christmas.  In the middle, Santa pauses to tell the kids a story, and we watch an entirely different short movie (complete with credits): it looks like a high-school production of the fairy tale "Thumbellina"!  Shot like a home movie with horrible children's singing and a dud of a Santa, the whole mess is actually terribly depressing, and may put you off Christmas for a while.  A short list candidate for the worst movie ever made; it makes you admire the professionalism and continuity of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.   Either 0.5 stars or 5 stars, take your pick.

This has been on my "must see" list for quite some time.

[lester1/2jr]

Presumed innocent - Harrison Ford stars as a prosecutor who gets it on  with a hot other lawyer and then she gets killed. I think they should have had more of the romance because there were some problems with this movie. It moves okay in general but is not terribly exciting with Ford coming off kinda Costner ish. I saw the ending coming a mile away and I never guess the ending.  it's not bad, butreally lacks any sort of spark to make it memorable.  3.5 /5

[bob]

really really underated comedy -

"Rainbow Randolph" Smiley (Robin Williams), a happily corrupt children's television host, is disgraced by an FBI sting for ripping off parents who want their kids on the show. He is replaced by the "squeaky clean" Sheldon Mopes (Edward Norton) and his character, Smoochy the Rhino. Randolph finds himself unemployed, homeless, and outcast from the television industry by his two-faced associate Marion Stokes (Jon Stewart). In an effort to return to the spotlight, Randolph hatches several schemes to bring down Mopes in hopes of reclaiming his time slot.

4.5 / 5

[FatFreddysCat]

"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (1964)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtXnLtOHiTk

Your holiday season isn't complete without at least one viewing of this no-budget '60s kitsch classic in which Martians kidnap Santa Claus so he can teach Mars' children how to have fun again. Seriously, this one has to be seen to be believed.

[Jack]

Shiver of the Vampires (1971) - a newlywed couple travel to the castle of the bride's relatives, but soon find they're all vampires.  The tale runs its predictable course, with the vamp's taking their sweet time to convert the young bride, while her husband tries to figure out what's going on.  This is one of those '70s movies that was intended to be watched while smoking a big bowl of weed.  And the theme music - some '70s stoner dude is really playing us his whole guitar jam tape.  Most of it is wildly inappropriate for the scenes it's accompanying, but that just ads to the kitsch.  It's all in French, and on Netflix streaming the bottom of the subtitles kind of get cut off by the bottom of the TV screen.  Oh well.  3/5.

Demonic Toys (1992) - Some criminals kill a cop, so the cop's partner (Tracy Scoggins) chases them into a toy warehouse.  There's some demonic force lurking about which makes all the toys come alive and attack everyone there.  I dunno, this was pretty boring and didn't really have enough cheesy charm to keep me interested.  Tracy looked cute in some scenes though.  3/5.

Encounter at Raven's Gate (1988) - In the Australian outback, a married couple is living their quiet little lives until the guy's brother moves in with them.  He's a bad boy, so the guy's wife immediately wants to jump his bones     In a totally unrelated plot, there's also the local cop who's in love with the local bartender lady, but she's not interested in him.  No, she too can't wait to jump in the sack with the bad boy.  And then there's some mysterious lights in the sky and mysterious stuff starts happening.  The plot is...very mysterious.  The characters are moderately kooky in that Australian way, but not interesting enough to be worth watching the movie for.  The ending was a total non-ending.  Meh.  3/5.

The Little Drummer Boy (1968) - a little kid who plays a drum meets baby Jesus and it's all very happy and tear-jerking     Wonderfully sweet Christmas entertainment.  4.5/5.

Frosty The Snowman (1969) - A snowman comes to life and needs to gt to the North Pole so he doesn't melt.  More wonderfully sweet Christmas entertainment.     4.5/5.

[Rev. Powell]

TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL (2010): A series of bloody coincidences lead camping college students to conclude sweet-natured hillbillies Tucker and Dale are psychotic killer hicks.  Horror fans looking for an entertaining spoof will enjoy seeing slasher conventions mutilated, chopped-up, chainsawed, and put into a wood chipper...  3.5/5. 

[claws]

Movies I watched the last two weeks. I was too busy to type my thoughts so here's the list with ratings only:

12/12 ~ Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) 4/5
12/13 ~ Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987) 4.5/5
12/14 ~ Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out (1989) 3.5/5
12/15 ~ Initiation: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 (1990) 3.75/5
12/16 ~ Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991) 3.5/5
12/17 ~ Torso (1973) 4.5/5 BD
12/18 ~ Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) 4.5/5 BD
12/19 ~ The Last Winter (2006) 4/5 BD
12/20 ~ The Thaw (2009) 3.75/5 BD
12/21 ~ Frozen (2010) 4/5 BD
12/22 ~ Wind Chill (2007) 4/5

[Jack]

Assault Girls (2009) - this whole thing takes place within the virtual reality world of a video game.   Four people in a barren wasteland are trying to kill a giant worm type thing, but they eventually figure out they can't do it acting individually, so they reluctantly decide to team up.  And that's pretty much the plot.  It's all very stylish and maybe a bit atmospheric.  The three girls looked cute in their futuristic armor.  I think it was intended for people who play a lot of video games;  if you don't you'd probably find the whole thing confusing and you'd miss all the in-jokes.  It was only a bit over an hour long, which was definitely a good idea.  3.5/5.

Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (1970) - We learn all about the origins of Santa and his battles against the evil Burgermeister Meisterburger     Charmingly sweet Christmas entertainment 4.5/5.

[indianasmith]

Finally saw COWBOYS VS. ALIENS last night.  I really enjoyed it a lot, and don't understand all the hate for it.  The final battle scene was pretty epic!

[bob]

this was a rough one.... 1/5