Recent viewings

[Jack]

Sleeping Dogs (1998) - A jewel thief is in the middle of pulling a big heist on an emerald processing facility that's owned by some gangster, but the cops bust the place and everybody ends up on a spaceship bound for the prison colony on Titan. The gangster gets free and releases all his henchmen and it's up to the thief to stop him before he rams the whole ship into the prison. This is total b-movie cheesiness all the way, sort of light exploitation elements and more than a few comedy relief characters. A fun bit of fluff. 3.75/5.

[alandhopewell]

     Oh, PLEASE.

      I could sum up the entire review with just this, but I won't.
They don't suck blood, the eat human flesh.
The video looks like it was done by druggie college students FOR druggie college students.

     Here's the whole thing; blame YouTube....

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdseKkLrGuU

I gotta go lie down....

[Jack]

The Astro-Zombies (1968) - a mad scientist creates an Astro Zombie - pretty much like a regular zombie except it's solar powered. Meanwhile some CIA agents (if Barney Fife got 10% on the law enforcement entrance exam, these guys got 20%) are trying to track him down, and a foreign agent by the name of Satana (both in the movie and in real life) is also after him. Who wouldn't want Astro Zombies as the ultimate weapon of world domination, ya know? This is total cheese from beginning to end. My wife had an awesome time MST3K'ing it, as soon as she saw the mad scientist's assistant:



Yes his hair is so greasy and matted down you can see your own reflection in it. Then there's the fact that the whole last half of the movie is supposed to take place at night, but it's obviously filmed in the daytime. You can see the blue sky, the very noticeable shadows cast by everything, but the guy's using a flashlight    According to the IMDb, the villainess Satana began exotic dancing at the age of 13, and that didn't surprise me in the least lol. 4/5 for pure ludicrous nonsense.

[alandhopewell]

The Astro-Zombies (1968) - a mad scientist creates an Astro Zombie - pretty much like a regular zombie except it's solar powered. Meanwhile some CIA agents (if Barney Fife got 10% on the law enforcement entrance exam, these guys got 20%) are trying to track him down, and a foreign agent by the name of Satana (both in the movie and in real life) is also after him. Who wouldn't want Astro Zombies as the ultimate weapon of world domination, ya know? This is total cheese from beginning to end. My wife had an awesome time MST3K'ing it, as soon as she saw the mad scientist's assistant:



Yes his hair is so greasy and matted down you can see your own reflection in it. Then there's the fact that the whole last half of the movie is supposed to take place at night, but it's obviously filmed in the daytime. You can see the blue sky, the very noticeable shadows cast by everything, but the guy's using a flashlight    According to the IMDb, the villainess Satana began exotic dancing at the age of 13, and that didn't surprise me in the least lol. 4/5 for pure ludicrous nonsense.

     There are two sequels to this, y'know.

[tracy]

     Oh, PLEASE.

      I could sum up the entire review with just this, but I won't.
They don't suck blood, the eat human flesh.
The video looks like it was done by druggie college students FOR druggie college students.

     Here's the whole thing; blame YouTube....

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdseKkLrGuU

I gotta go lie down....

On dollar movie night,they would owe you at least 50 cents back.

[ChaosTheory]

SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN (2012) - revisionist action-heavy take on the fairy tale.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnsPDKU8fDg

Overall, it was better than I was expecting, although Kristen Stewart really needs to come up with an acting technique besides "stare into the distance with your mouth open." Charlize Theron camps it up & seems to be having a pretty good time being a villain; and Chris Hemsworth is real pretty.  Ian McShane has a minor role as one of the seven dwarves (yeah, they're in it too), so that was cool. 6.5/10


THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMGRhAEn6K0

So I haven't read the books; I don't know if that helps or not, but I really enjoyed this.  It cribs from a lot of sources (there's elements of BATTLE ROYALE, MOST DANGEROUS GAME, 1984, TRIUMPH OF THE WILL, early MTV) but it somehow works; it's a fairly well-constructed world and the story has its own energy even if it isn't overly original.  Excellent performances from Jennifer Lawrence, Woody Harrelson and Stanley Tucci.  One thing though: why do people in the future always have such ridonkulous made-up names?   7.5/10

[claws]

The Notebook (2004)

Summer romance: rich girl loves poor boy but rich girl's parents don't like poor boy. Rich girl is forced to move away and poor boy writes her a letter every day for 365 days. Rich girl's mother hides all letters. 7 years later: rich girl falls in love with new rich boy. They plan to get married but poor boy shows up and rich girl is confused.

Sentimental and corny, over the top dramatic it almost works as a parody. They ending lays it on pretty thick so be prepared. Why this got such a high rating at IMDb (7.9/10) is beyond me. Funny enough, according to IMDb demographic breakdown more males than females saw this obvious chick flick. Either way, it was amusing and entertaining for all the wrong reasons: 4/5

[indianasmith]

I watched a truly atrocious piece of cinematic excreta this weekend called
ZOMBIE A-HOLE.  Of course, what could you expect with a title like that?

The main zombie had a really cheap Wal-Mart mask that did not allow his mouth
to move AT ALL.  He shot a highly corrosive venom that dissolved flesh on contact
and looked suspiciously like green Silly String.  Mainly, the movie seemed to be an
excuse to show a large number of rather ugly women naked, and then show them
getting eaten by the zombie.

The main zombie hunter is a Bible-thumping Cowboy who is out to get the zombie that
killed one of his two twin sisters.

Very moderate amuseument value.  Rent only if everything else is checked out!!!

[FatFreddysCat]

"Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" (2004)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11Mide2KXow

Jude Law is an ace mercenary fighter pilot who has to save the Earth - and his plucky girl-reporter love interest - from a mad scientist who's threatening the world with an army of giant robots. This big-budget retro-futuristic action flick set in an alternate-universe 1930s is kinda like a high tech "Rocketeer."

Visually "Sky Captain" is a trip - the film mixes influences from Indiana Jones, Tim Burton's "Batman," 1930s pulp magazines, and Max Fleischer's WWII "Superman" cartoons. Story-wise it's pretty basic old fashioned movie-serial action - i.e., nothing to write home about - but the film's unique look makes up for it. Oh, and Gwyneth Paltrow is cute as hell as the Lois Lane-style damsel in distress.

This flick tanked when it was released in 2004 but it's worth a look!

[Rev. Powell]

THE RED SQUIRREL [LA ARDILLA ROJA] (1993): A man is about to commit suicide when a beautiful young woman on a motorcycle crashes nearby; she has amnesia, and he tricks her into believing he's her boyfriend. An overlooked but haunting Spanish psychological thriller, full of odd and obscure portents and distant echoes of VERTIGO. 4.5/5.

[A_Dubya]

Well, I just re-watched two of my favorite movies of all time.

Malcolm X (1992)
&
The Messenger (2009)

Both are great pieces of film and I recommend checking both out if you haven't already. It goes without saying I give each *****/*****.

[Rev. Powell]

MST3K: TIME OF THE APES: One of the goofiest experiments ever: a ridiculous, cheap Japanese PLANET OF THE APES ripoff with dramatic zooms and UFOS, made even less coherent because it's the entire run of a TV show squeezed into a 90-minute feature, all dubbed by the incompetent Sandy Frank. It's terrific! The movie and riffing so hilarious they make up for some weak, juvenile host segments. 4, maybe 4.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

With the kids this evening:

"Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0REhWXqwPE

Sequel to live action hit finds the Mystery Inc. gang trying to find out who's re-animating old enemies from their past cases. Once again, cheap CGI and goofball humor is the order of the day.

In addition to Sarah Michelle Gellar returning as Daphne, Alicia Silverstone adds to the eye candy quotient as a mysterious TV reporter.

[claws]

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

Tom works for a gift card company and is in love with the boss' new assistant named Summer. They eventually start a romantic relationship but Summer's idea of love doesn't match Tom's.

Smart, fresh and offbeat Indie comedy that sort of pokes fun at romance. Glossy and engaging, never unintentional corny, packed with excellent performances, witty dialogue and a good timing for the funny while being spot on when it comes to the drama without being pretentious.

Is this a chick flick? Not really. I'd say its perfectly safe for guys to watch. 5/5

[FatFreddysCat]

"Fantastic Voyage" (1966)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7f1QTxvz1w

A medical team is miniaturized and sent into the body of a comatose Russian defector to perform brain surgery in this stylish '60s sci-fi. The whiz-bang "inside the human body" special effects still hold up pretty well today. Donald Pleasance is always fun to watch and Racquel Welch... well, she's Racquel Welch. :D