Recent viewings

[ChaosTheory]

ALEX CROSS (2012)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O990qnemIso
Hoo boy, where to even start with this.
The third movie to feature James Patterson's insufferably righteous psychologist/detective is also a reboot.  Those of you with the USA Network are probably familiar with the first two, KISS THE GIRLS and ALONG CAME A SPIDER.  These movies weren't great, but at least they had the general structure of actual mystery stories.  And Morgan Freeman played Alex with a likeable sort of world-weary intelligence.  ALEX CROSS is a sort-of revenge thriller starring A Tyler Perry Production of Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry, who has the looks and charisma of a potato and doesn't know how to handle a shotgun, pitting himself against a looney contract killer (a weirdly emaciated Matthew Fox, who tries very very hard and fails even harder.)  In the first half Cross' team almost catches Fox, so he kills Cross' disproportionately hot wife.  The second half is Tyler Perry yelling a lot and chasing Fox through an abandoned theater.  There's a twist (I guess) involving Fox's employer but it doesn't really have any bearing on anything.
This movie joins ONE FOR THE MONEY, JACK REACHER, and PARKER in an odd trend of insanely miscast, failed adaptations of well-liked crime books/characters. What's next?  Ricky Gervaise as Brother Cadfael?  Halle Berry as Precious Ramotswe?  Robert Pattinson as Mr. Chapel? 
Like ATLAS SHRUGGED, this wasn't even THE ROOM-bad, it was just dull-bad. 0/10

[JaseSF]

Comin' Round the Mountain (1951): Rather minor comedy has Abbott and Costello getting mixed up with hillbillies, including winding up part of a feud between the McCoys and the Winfields when it's discovered Lou might in fact be a kin to Squeeze Box McCoy, all the while searching for an hidden treasure the McCoys are reputed to know the whereabouts of. The best bits here come from guest appearances featuring Margaret Hamilton as a reputed backwoods hillbilly witch who sells Lou a love potion and Glenn Strange as Devil Dan Winfield of the Winfield clan who takes an instant disliking of Costello's Wilbert character. The stuff with the love potion proves somewhat funny and entertaining, and Dorothy Shay provides some decent musical performances but the rest proves rather silly and forgettable. I'll give this *** out of ***** stars.

Cool Hand Luke (1967): Genuine classic stars Paul Newman as the title character "Cool Hand Luke" who from one stupid mistake ends up part of a prison chain gang. This is a story about free will and the battle some put forth to maintain their individuality in a world or climate that demands conformity on pretty much all levels. Newman's performance makes this film worthwhile but also great here is George Kennedy as cellmate/chum Dragline. This is probably a film that is truly a guy's film favourite, featuring many scenes and sequences featuring men doing what men often feel they have to do to be men. Not many women in this movie but Joy Harmon certainly leaves a memorable impression in this one too. My girlfriend didn't care for the ending of this film but I really enjoyed it and really could see it ending no other way. **** out of ***** stars.

[claws]

The Orphanage (2007)

Adopted as a child, a woman and her family move into her old orphanage with plans of turning the place into a home for retarded children. Her ill son is also adopted, and plays with imaginary friends. During a party the son disappears and the mother goes on a desperate journey to find her child. At one point she contacts a medium who reveals disturbing secrets from the orphanage's past. In an final attempt to find her son she stays two days at the orphanage alone, and is confronted with restless spirits ...

Clever and well made Psychological Drama with scenes of eerie hauntings and creepy paranormal activity. Acting is top notch and the movie holds a few surprises up its sleeves. A modern classic in my opinion. 5/5

[Jack]

Conan the Barbarian (2011) - modern update on the old Schwarzenegger classic. Didn't do anything for me. Lacks all the style and substance of the original, while at the same time it's not fun enough to offer any lighthearted entertainment either. Paper thin characters, plot that drags on way too long, and enough CGI to render the whole thing eye-rollingly unbelievable. 2.5/5.

[rebel_1812]

Conan the Barbarian (2011) - modern update on the old Schwarzenegger classic. Didn't do anything for me. Lacks all the style and substance of the original, while at the same time it's not fun enough to offer any lighthearted entertainment either. Paper thin characters, plot that drags on way too long, and enough CGI to render the whole thing eye-rollingly unbelievable. 2.5/5.

Yeah the the new conan the barbarian was neutered to become more pc.

[claws]

It was snowing on Easter Sunday, so I felt like watching this:

1. Cold Prey III: The Beginning (2010)

1987: six friends enjoying Norwegian's great outdoors put up camp not too far off where a tragic event shook the nation back in 1976: a married couple running a ski hotel left their disfigured son during a snow storm out to die. The son didn't die, but grew up to become a hulking maniac raised by an hermit-like hunter. Soon the deadly hunt is on as the killer discovers the "intruders" ...

Prequel lacking atmosphere and strong characters, though beautifully shot by default thanks to Norway's gorgeous nature. Cold Prey 3 feels more like a Wrong Turn type of slasher and is not bad for what it is. It pales in comparison with the other two Cold Prey movies though. 3.5/5

2. Cold Prey (2006)

Five friends use the Easter weekend to go snowboarding on a more secluded mountain. Because of an accident and approaching bad weather they are forced to seek shelter in an abandoned ski hotel. Soon enough they are visited by Thomas, a disfigured maniac, who used to call the ski hotel his home ...

Creepy old school slasher from Norway. I never get tired watching this. 5/5

3. Cold Prey 2: Resurrection (2008)

Jannicke, the only survivor of a massacre at an abandoned ski hotel, is brought into a hospital that is about to close. As local police recover dead bodies at the hotel they notice that one is still alive: Thomas. He is also brought into the hospital and soon enough he goes on a grisly hunt to kill Jannicke - but the young woman is prepared!

Decent sequel that actually surpasses the original. Great atmosphere, sympathetic characters and enough jolting jump scares to keep the slasher fan happy. 5/5

[ChaosTheory]

CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbQxUybXel4
You got comedy in my horror -
You got horror in my comedy -
Together they taste like crap.

[fulci420]

Sleeping with the Enemy-(1991)-Julia Roberts stars as a women who escapes a abusive marriage by faking her death. Attempting to start a new life in Iowa her psycho husband begins to question her death and goes out looking for her. This is a fairly generic 90's thriller with some nice touches. Firstly the cinematography is gorgeous and compelling, the first 1/3 especially is packed with wonderfully framed shots and some great camera movement. When it comes to building tension this finesse behind the camera is readily apparent with interesting shots and some fine editing. Secondly we have a score by the great Jerry Goldsmith, who is one of the all time greats when it comes to film score. What goes wrong after a gripping opening is a rather boring and annoying romantic subplot that occurs with the local drama teacher. Firstly the guy looks less reputable than Julia's husband and the whole point of this lengthy subplot seems to be for him to invite her over to try on various outfits to the tune of Brown Eyed Girl. Now I can think of worse thing's to watch than a young Julia Roberts in a silly costume montage, but it really doesn't fit within this kind of movie. 6.5/10 Check it out if its on tv but I wouldn't really seek it out.

Silent Rage-(1982)-This is one weird movie. Really a hodgepodge of different genres thrown together we get the following.
Horror-We get a Michael Myers like psycho, on screen murders, suspenseful murders...
Sci Fi-We get scientists injecting said psycho with an invincibility potion because why not...
Chuck Norris Action Movie-We get Chuck beating up bars full of bikers, and we get some kicks.
Chuck Norris Romance Movie-Chuck Norris charms an old flame into bed in a lengthy subplot.
Chuck Norris Buddy Cop Movie-We get Norris's overweight bumbling sidekick whose middle name is hijinks.

What does all this add up too? I saw it last night and really can't say, I will say I've never seen anything like it. Chuck Norris/10

[lester1/2jr]

Snake Island - There's a snake every 5 seconds in this thing. girls are mediocre. guy from Greatest American Hero goes on the most low budget Africa vacation ever and all this stuff with snakes happen. They tweak the formula a bit in funny ways I won't give it away. recommended 4/5

[JaseSF]

Amazon Women on the Moon (1987): Late 1980s comedy parody parodying mainly late-night TV from that era including a 1950s style sci-fi film. Actually this rarely proves funny enough to actually make you laugh but it is fairly amusing throughout. The title refers to a parody of 1950s sci-fi films in a series of sequences that bring to mind Rocky Jones meets Cat Women of the Moon meets Queen of Outer Space. Actually though this movie IMO proves less entertaining and less fun than any of the real deals from that era. My personal favourite parody segments here were the "Bulls**t or not?" segments featuring Henry Silva and the "Don Simmons, black man without soul" segments. Carrie Fisher also makes a brief and memorable appearance in a parody of educational short films from the 50s. Alright to kill an hour and a half but really not as good as I hoped.  *** out of ***** stars.

Lost in Alaska (1952): Abbott and Costello save a man from drowning only to discover he's a successful gold prospector named ""Nugget" Joe McDermott (Tom Ewell) from Alaska. Eventually Abbott and Costello end up joining him on his journey up north as he returns hoping to win the woman he loves. However, the contents of the gold prospector's will have become known and now he's a target for all his former friends who are now gunning for his gold making Abbott and Costello his rather unlikely bodyguards. Inevitably Abbott and Costello wind up getting lost in Alaska.

In many ways, this recalls Hope & Crosby's Road to Utopia but isn't quite as good as that film was. This does have its moments though mostly featuring Abbott and Costello interacting be it trading places keeping nighttime watch, wandering through the Alaskan wilderness or trying to hold off attackers with whatever ammunition they can get their hands on including frozen fish. Some of these bits had me laughing out loud. Still all in all, it's a slightly average offering. Nevertheless I'll give it ***1/2 out of ***** stars for successfully making me laugh several times.

The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer (1947): A teenage girl named Susan Turner (Shirley Temple) falls in love with an older playboy artist named Richard Nugent (Cary Grant) following a lecture at her school. Her schoolgirl crush inevitably results in her asking to pose for Nugent who reluctantly agrees in half-hearted fashion. Unfortunately for him though Susan takes him seriously and things take an unexpected turn when she's caught in Nugent's apartment by her sister Judge Margaret Turner (Myrna Loy) and the District Attorney who assume the worst on the part of Nugent. Eventually they learn the truth but convince Nugent he must reluctantly escort the girl Susan on a series of dates in the hopes she'll outgrow her teenage crush on him.

While the premise is somewhat of a stretch, this movie proves quite entertaining with a great cast and some fun, fast-paced dialogue and some surprisingly great and realistic arguments which prove more entertaining than one expects. There's a certain real charm to the proceedings here that is rather sweet, wholesome and good natured despite its somewhat silly premise. **** out of ***** stars.

[claws]

Firstly the guy looks less reputable than Julia's husband and the whole point of this lengthy subplot seems to be for him to invite her over to try on various outfits to the tune of Brown Eyed Girl. Now I can think of worse thing's to watch than a young Julia Roberts in a silly costume montage, but it really doesn't fit within this kind of movie. 6.5/10 Check it out if its on tv but I wouldn't really seek it out.

I always thought the overly cute dressing up sequence seemed out of place but a quick research confirmed my suspicion. Sleeping with the Enemy was shot between April and June 1990, the same time frame Pretty Woman became a monster box office smash at the theaters, catapulting Julia Roberts into the A-List. I guess the makers of Sleeping with the Enemy only wanted to capture some of that, knowing they suddenly had a new star in their movie.

[Jack]

[REC] (2007) - repeat viewing. A TV reporter is doing a story about a day in the life of the fire department. Eventually a call comes in of a woman in distress at an apartment building, so they jump in the fire trucks and head over there. Once they arrive they find themselves in the beginning stages of a zombie invasion, and the cops have the place locked down so everyone is trapped inside, desperately trying to survive. Loved this. Manuela Velasco does a fantastic job as the TV reporter, and the movie masterfully builds from a lighthearted atmosphere at the start, to confused tension, and eventually to complete panic. It's all filmed on a handheld camera which does jiggle around a bit too much, but it's only a minor annoyance. 5/5.

[REC]2 (2009) - first time viewing. A SWAT team arrives at the apartment building just after the events of the first movie. They go inside and are soon consumed in the zombie horror. Didn't like this as much as the first movie. Where the original built tension over the course of its run time, this one is just a 90 minute panic attack and it gets tiresome. And where the first movie had a fantastic main character, this doesn't have a main character at all. In fact around the halfway point they forget about the SWAT team altogether and switch to a group of annoying teenagers who happened to find their way into the building. I'm like "WTF?" They do get back to the SWAT team eventually, and the ending was pretty good. I also liked the explanation behind the contagion, that was cool. 3.75/5.

[Bushma]

Warm Bodies -

It was at my local $3 theather so I went to check it out.  I saw the trailer thought it looked amusing so I read the book.  The book was alright, but it wasn't something that I would normally read, and  I ended up hating the ending.  I was still interested in seeing the moving and $3 was the right price.  It was a romance, and I was the only guy who was there alone I still enjoyed the movie.  There were a few funny parts most of it was ackward, but it was the only movie I've ever seen that I enjoyed more than the book!  I think the movie left out a lot of R's internal dialog which really helped to explain his character, but the movie actually had a decent ending to it.
2/5

[Rev. Powell]

ALICE (THE BBC WEDNESDAY PLAY) (1965): I was looking through the extras on my BBC DVD of ALICE IN WONDERLAND and was shocked to find out that one of them was this full-length (70 minute) movie! Charles Dodsgon (better known under his pen name Lewis Carroll) is a shy, stuttering and very odd man; adults start to become concerned about his obsession with young Alice Liddell, his real-life inspiration for "Alice in Wonderland." Nothing much really happens---Dodgson struggles with some inner demons that are only hinted at---but George Baker is excellent as the sweet yet creepy author and those familiar with the book will find lots of enjoyable allusions. 3.5/5.

[ChaosTheory]

Firstly the guy looks less reputable than Julia's husband and the whole point of this lengthy subplot seems to be for him to invite her over to try on various outfits to the tune of Brown Eyed Girl. Now I can think of worse thing's to watch than a young Julia Roberts in a silly costume montage, but it really doesn't fit within this kind of movie. 6.5/10 Check it out if its on tv but I wouldn't really seek it out.

I always thought the overly cute dressing up sequence seemed out of place but a quick research confirmed my suspicion. Sleeping with the Enemy was shot between April and June 1990, the same time frame Pretty Woman became a monster box office smash at the theaters, catapulting Julia Roberts into the A-List. I guess the makers of Sleeping with the Enemy only wanted to capture some of that, knowing they suddenly had a new star in their movie.

Yeah, that subplot always kind of bugged me too.  Nothing like a marketing team's involvement to make a movie "better"!