Recent viewings

[Trevor]

Six: The Mark Unleashed: a good Christian based film dealing with people living under a demonic leader who brands his people with a mark which is kind of an ID in a totalitarian society. The acting is no great shakes - except for Jeffrey Dean Morgan - but the film is quite good. 

[JaseSF]

Bloodtide (1982): A treasure hunter named Frye (James Earl Jones) seeking his fortune accidentally unleashes an ancient evil from an undersea cavern. Now the only way to appease it the locals seem to believe may be the sacrifice of a virgin. Meanwhile Neil Grice (Martin Kove) and his newlywed wife Sherry (Mary Louise Weller) turn up searching for his lost sister Madeline (Deborah Shelton).

This is one of those films which borrows better ideas from other films (kind of a meshing of Wicker Man and Jaws) but in no way executes said ideas at any competent level. Not even James Earl Jones quoting Shakespeare can save this one. It doesn't help that we hardly ever see the film's monster and when we do, it disappoints in a big way. The women in the film do look pretty good though and is arguably this film's best feature particularly Frye's girlfriend Barbara (Lydia Cornell) and Shelton's Madeline. The shocking twist with the painting one can see coming from a mile away, and  really the whole film plays out in a surprisingly predictable fashion. Jones' gives the film's best performance although Cornell is likable as Barbara and Shelton does alright as Madeline. Kove is terrible but nevertheless plays hero here leading to an unexpectedly inappropriate kiss. A bad movie which just doesn't ever deliver like one wants it to. **1/2 out of ***** stars.

The Brain Machine (1977): The U.S. government and military, at the behest of a certain Senator (Stuart Lancaster) and General (Thomas Hal Phillips), secretly conduct mind-reading experiments on four volunteers who believe they are actually participating in an environmental study based around the negative effects of pollution and overpopulation headed by a unknowing scientist named Dr. Roland Roth (Doug Collins). Things go even more unexpectedly awry however when the computer in control malfunctions.

This actually made me long for Bloodtide it was so bad. This is dull, dull, dull with horrible acting. It does stars James Best as a pervy minister named Rev. Emory Neill, one of the scientific experiment volunteers. The other volunteers include a still somewhat shell-shocked war veteran named Judd Reeves (Marcus J. Grapes), an oversexed country bumpkin with a dark secret named Minne Lee Parks (Ann Latham), and finally an intelligent, good natured misfit named Willie West (Gerald McRaney). It basically borrows its main idea from The Outer Limits episode "O.B.I.T." which does this so much better and so much more effectively. The last 10-15 minutes of the movie do prove somewhat entertaining as the mind-reading experiments drive those involved over the edge and the computer wigs out but getting there proves quite a feat. This feels like a bad TV movie on so many levels. The plot involving the government/military agents secretly conducting an experiment within an experiment also proves somewhat confusing and some may not fully grasp just what is going on. Finally, the ending just leaves one cold. You're so much better off watching "O.B.I.T." again instead. ** out of ***** stars.

[JoeTheDestroyer]

Rewatched every Gamera movie, with the exceptions of Gamera: Super Monster and Gamera the Brave. So much nostalgia... I also came to the conclusion that Gamera 2: Advent of Legion is my favorite of the franchise.

Also rewatched Poltergeist. I think I'm more in love with that movie now than I was as a kid.

[indianasmith]

Last night I watched Full Moon's PMS COP.  It was an interesting concept that could have been fun if they had played the humorous angle up a little more, but instead they went with a straight, if feminist, remake of MANIAC COP that fell short on most levels.  The shower girl/rape victim in the opening sequence was cute though.  3/5

[Jack]

Monster Ark (2008) - watched this SyFy Original again. Some archaeologists unwittingly release a CGI monster which runs around Iraq killing people and they have to find the staff of Noah in order to stop it. Good cheesy fun. Tiny Lister plays a military commander who speaks every line as if he was giving an interview to Mean Gene Okerlund lol. 3/5.

[JaseSF]

Monster Ark (2008) - watched this SyFy Original again. Some archaeologists unwittingly release a CGI monster which runs around Iraq killing people and they have to find the staff of Noah in order to stop it. Good cheesy fun. Tiny Lister plays a military commander who speaks every line as if he was giving an interview to Mean Gene Okerlund lol. 3/5.

Well, Lister did spend some time in WWF as Zeus.

[VenomX73]

Monster Ark (2008) - watched this SyFy Original again. Some archaeologists unwittingly release a CGI monster which runs around Iraq killing people and they have to find the staff of Noah in order to stop it. Good cheesy fun. Tiny Lister plays a military commander who speaks every line as if he was giving an interview to Mean Gene Okerlund lol. 3/5.

Well, Lister did spend some time in WWF as Zeus.

[JoeTheDestroyer]

Rewatched Absentia. Still enjoyed it. A bit of a slow burn monster movie, but one of the good ones.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Tasmanian Devils" (2013) Base jumpers and park rangers vs. hungry, poorly CGI'd beasts in the forests of Tasmania. The main draw of this below average SyFy schlock-tacular is the presence of Danica McKellar, aka Winnie Cooper of "The Wonder Years" fame, who has grown up to be spectacularly busty.

[JaseSF]

The Wild Women of Wongo (1958): The beautiful women of the tribe of Wongo, lead by the King's daughter Omoo (Jean Harkshaw), discover that the men of a nearby tribe the Goona are much handsomer than their men and soon set out to capture them for themselves. Threatening them all is a tribe of so-called savage "ape men".

This movie is played with tongue firmly in cheek. It is actually something of a comedy parody of 1950's Prehistoric Women. It is downright silly more often than not, more silly than actually funny unfortunately. Some bits of this have to be seen to be believed especially the spasmodic jerking dance of the Wongo women to please their dragon god (a crocodile), the crocodile wrestling match Harkshaw has with a small crocodile, the constantly annoying parrot echoing its take on things (you'll wish the crocodile had eaten it soon before this ends), the two brute like "ape man" who apparently make up a tribe and only pop up briefly in the film, the objectifying of both men and women and the general lesson that good-looking and unattractive should stick to their own kind. Yep, this is something of a bad movie classic. According to IMDB, Tennessee Williams actually directed a lot of this film. ***1/2 out of ***** stars (on a bad movie fan's scale), to normal people, it would probably be * out of ***** stars.

Prehistoric Women (1950): A tribe of fierce warrior women lead by Tigri (Laurette Luez) set out to capture men for their mates. They should set their sights on a group of cave dwelling hunters lead by Engor (Allen Nixon). However, the men they capture don't take too kindly to servitude and plot escape. An evil giant named Guadi (played by 7'8" tall Johann Petursson) is another threat constantly lurking about.

This movie certainly isn't worried about historical accuracy. It's downright silly yet it is also surprising fun to watch if you're a bad movie fan. Oh, it's bad alright but has many you have to see this to believe them moments. Lessons learned here include: the full moon sends women into a dancing, mating frenzy; prehistoric women were actually kind of hot and had make-up and other devices to keep them looking their best; men are only truly happy when their women are tending their every need; abusing your spouse is the best way to get your own way; fire is the greatest weapon ever created; giants roamed the ancient jungles preying on unsuspecting women; pterodactyls stalked the sky as well. Actually this film is somewhat similar to the later Hammer film remake from the late 60s, which is arguably even sillier with its brunettes enslaving blondes. It's enjoyable mostly for the then gorgeous Laurette Luez running around in a skimpy outfit. Mara Lynn is memorable as her rival Arva too. "The dominant male is happy and contented. Women wait on him as though he were a king." **** out of ***** stars (on a bad movie fan's scale). To normal folks, it'd probably be ** out of ***** stars.

[Rev. Powell]

MST3K: MOON ZERO TWO: The movie, which was produced by Hammer Studios, is not that bad. It's a western in space, set to swinging cocktail jazz, with go-go dancers. What's not to like? The riffing is good for a late first season episode as they are just starting to get their feet under them and develop a rhythm. The host segments are forgettable, but overall this is a rare season one episode that stacks up against later seasons. 3/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Goldfinger" (1964) Third film in the James Bond series pits 007 against Auric Goldfinger, a crazed billionaire who wants to control the world's gold bullion supply. Along the way he romances the lovely p***y Galore ("...I must be dreaming") and takes the classic Q Branch Aston-Martin for its first spin. 50 years since its release, this is still one of the best Bonds.

[Javakoala]

Last night I watched Full Moon's PMS COP.  It was an interesting concept that could have been fun if they had played the humorous angle up a little more, but instead they went with a straight, if feminist, remake of MANIAC COP that fell short on most levels.  The shower girl/rape victim in the opening sequence was cute though.  3/5

The whole thing fell apart for me when they took her back to the drug facility, and she suddenly became a different actress who was taller, slimmer and unable to project anything other than "When do I get my paycheck?"

It would have been a funnier movie if they had kept the original female cop and let her go about her duties while dishing out extreme penalties for crimes. Like a mix of "Crank" and "The Toxic Avenger".

Oh well, Full Moon tends to shoot themselves in the foot even when they don't have a good idea. Why would I expect better from this movie?

[indianasmith]

They definitely should have pursued the humorous angle in that movie better.  Instead, it was SILENT RAGE with a female lead.

Last night I watched VARSITY BLOOD, a decent little slasher film that was shot at the same location as the classic VARSITY BLUES - Elgin High School, in Elgin, TX - which incidentally is the down where my sister lived as a newlywed about 34 years ago.  I spent some great summers down there with her and her husband and my (at the time) infant nephews.  But I digress.
   The movie was actually pretty fun, with a lot of blood and some creative kills. The murderer dressed up in the mascot's costume (the Warriors) of the local football team, and there was a fairly complex back story, as well as a little twist at the end I did not see coming.  The cheerleaders were effective as eye candy and slasher fodder, but a couple of them actually had personalities too.  I'd give this one a 6/10.

[lester1/2jr]

Elephant White (2011) - Crossover attempt action movie by the Thai director who did The Protector and Chocolate. I'm not an action movie expert and I'll just bet there are some problems those people would have but I liked it.

The huge black guy from a bunch of movies I can't think of goes to Thailand to help some guy take out some gangsters. While he's there he meets up with his old friend: Kevin bacon with a relatively decent British accent. He also makes friends with a weird but pretty local girl who helps him pick out all the gangsters he's supposed to kill and whatnot but guess what? everything is not as it appears. shocking...

The movie was entertaining and had some nice guns for one one thing. It could have used a bit more tension and the lead being slightly less indestructible. it's the type of movie you watch and get really into then afterwards you're like "wait a minute..." still cool though 4/5