What would Badmovies.org say about you?

[Just Plain Horse]

I, for some reason, just got an image in my head of "what if" Badmovies.org sort of gave us our own little "blurbs" to describe us regulars to newbies or those too timid to do more than peek... what would yours say about you? Let me give you an example: here's what mine might look like:

Just Plain Horse: Little is known about him, tends to be post rarely... sometimes in-depth, often brief comments. Areas of Interest/ expertise: Giant Monster Movies (King Kong, Godzilla, 50 ft. Woman), Asian Monster Movies (Gappa, The Manster, Matango) , MST3k episodes & related films (Manos the Hands of Fate, Red Zone Cuba, The Giant Spider Invasion)

[JaseSF]

JaseSF: former regular from Scifilm.org. Used to write TV Files (episode capsules of sci-fi, fantasy and horror genre TV with a main focus on the classics and modern animation). Has become arguably somewhat sillier, and perhaps a bit less serious, since joining this board. May have a somewhat foolish crush on Susan. Areas of interests/expertise: 1950s Sci-Fi (both British and American), classic 60s Sci-Fi and spy-fi television adventure, 1940s-50s Film Noir, 1930s Horror and Mystery Films, 60s Drive-In Films, cheaply made 70-80s Martial Arts film and Blaxploitation.

[indianasmith]

INDIANA SMITH - Resident (PSEUDO)intellectual fundamentalist, archeologist, and historian.     Likes movies everyone else hates, hates movies most of us like, gets all prickly about the Da Vinci Code, and is seemingly obsessed with a film called NINJA BACHELOR PARTY.

[RCMerchant]

 RCMerchant-Has unhealthy obssesion with Bela Lugosi. Can't spell worth sh!t. Tends to ramble on  uselessly at times...trails off posts because he can't figure out how to end them .....

[RapscallionJones]

RapscallionJones is a relative newcomer to the forums and swears like a sailor.  As a matter of fact, he finds the F word filter aggravating.  Mr. Jones seems to know a lot of things about nothing important, has an opinion about everything and just can't seem to keep the posts short.  Escape From New York is on record as his favorite movie of all time and he has also made the claim that Night of the Living Dead is the perfect horror movie.

[Mr. DS]

The DarkSider is a regular poster/web master who's wealth of useless knowledge is rather staggering.  He is considering intelligent (or is that intelligent) especially when it comes to 1980s culture.  When it comes to film, he is known to enjoy the utterly hideous however he can truly appreciate a good film when he sees one.  He is also very well versed in the language of cursing. 

Avoid contact at all costs. 

[Scott]

Scott - Veteran of the forum known for his mega-movie-marathons. Born on 9/11 with Bill Gates good looks he has compiled quite a reference of movie titles from and for badmovies.org movie search engines. He frequently post other off topic post that range anywhere from bathroom humor to fruit. Having seen almost every desired film on his lengthy movie list. He wonders if film has anything more to offer him as a viewer. Badmovies.org has recently been subject to his new endeavor of filmmaking as he has now officially become a director of films of great interest with the creation and release of Adventure Theater's "Search For Bigfoot". All of which can only be exclusively seen here on the badmovies.org forum. After extensive Religious/Theological/Philosophical studies, U.S. Travels, Martial Arts, Yoga, and Skydiving at 13,000 ft. Scott is now considering converting to Catholicism and walking around the planet in each direction on Holy pilgrimages to Holy places practicing unceasing prayer related to the mercy of God. He is at the crossroads of either becoming a world renown Filmmaker, or becoming a Pilgrim, or entering the Monastic Life. He hopes to be buried on another planet like Marlon Brando was in Super Porcupine Omelet of which Scott was a co-scriptwriter. 

[Allhallowsday]

 
Allhallowsday is named for the day he was born, the day after "All Hallows Eve" (Halloween) what the Roman church now calls "All Saint's Day," November 1st, the begining of the pagan new year.  Endlessly seeking a learning experience, but getting crusty with age, Allhallowsday can be dark but aspires to be a peacemaker.  Perhaps the resident expert on how to look up movies right quick, and great at making connections, Allhallowsday is not often liked for his cryptic prose, acerbic commentary, and insightful responses.  A balancing act, the thoroughly contrite Allhallowsday is not inexperienced, but can't help it, he was born a clown and would do nearly anything for a laugh.   

[IzzyDedjet]

IzzyDedjet...If you say his name slow, it kinda makes sense.
Izzy, is pretty easy to figure out, Dedjet, break it into syllables.  Ded, is easy enough, as is jet.  If you say the whole thing together, it sounds like something that we say about a lot of really bad actors.  Like Lorenzo Lamas.  (Think about it here, is he dead yet?  Now say that fast.)
Anyway, Izzy is new to the bad movie forums, but no stranger to boards.  Between his penchants for Xombie, comic books and b(*)(*)bies, Izzy's been around.
He;s just hoping to make enough of a nuisance out of himself to get noticed. 

[Jason]

Jason - who?

Very much a newcomer to the badmovies forum, Jason can usually be found scurrying round in the dark corners of the off-topic forum. Whilst his knowledge of bad movies is very limited, his love of bad sci-fi is not, and is ultimately what draws him to the site time and time again.
Areas Of Expertise: Video Games, 1980s/1990s Britcoms

[Just Plain Horse]

Thanks, guys- you all got exactly what I was aiming for... though I'm a little concerned for some of you  You know we can update these descriptions from time to time if the need arises   

[Newt]

Mostly harmless.

[Doc Daneeka]

Mr. Briggs Inc.: possibly the youngest and most inexperienced frequent poster of Badmovies. Thinks he's funny. Better at thinking of ideas than posting them. Despite knowing a few of them, Mr. Briggs starts to feel weird after staying around "insert film, TV show, game, or actor here"philes, which is why he doesn't post more on those Phantasm sites he's always promoting. Mr. Briggs got his start watching B-Movies at a young(er) age (Around 2) with Godzilla and other stuff that used to always be on TV that isn't anymore.

No areas of actual expertise (Read: Inexperienced) but enjoys horror comedies most, especially if they are actually scary at times, and thinks the 50s was a weak, repetitive decade for B-films. Being young, his daddy doesn't always let him see all the bloody boobies films that can be popular with the B-Movie crowd .

Mr. Briggs actually wants to be a writer but is bogged down by a tendency for procrastinating, and then being derivative (Read: Super Porcupine Omelette). His name comes from the Dark Horse comic Aliens vs. Predator: War.

[Captain Tars Tarkas]

Tars Tarkas - Lean, green movie watching machine!

[Dennis]

Dennis: Loves to play video games, read and watch horror and sci-fi, likes to think of himself as a dashing 25 year old, was brought down to earth recently when Sophie, the barrista at Starbucks, told him he was "such a nice old guy". He then looked in the mirror and said "d***, when did this happen?"