The Unofficial Badmovies.org Random Thought Thread!

[Saucerman]

Having just returned from the dentist and gotten a long and preachy spiel about gingivitis, I have to wonder -- do my gums bleed because of gingivitis, or because THE HAMFISTED DENTAL HYGIENIST IS STABBING ME REPEATEDLY IN THE MOUTH WITH A TWISTED, POINTY BIT OF METAL. 

[Patient7]

Having just returned from the dentist and gotten a long and preachy spiel about gingivitis, I have to wonder -- do my gums bleed because of gingivitis, or because THE HAMFISTED DENTAL HYGIENIST IS STABBING ME REPEATEDLY IN THE MOUTH WITH A TWISTED, POINTY BIT OF METAL. 

No, it's your tooth beaver.

[LilCerberus]

My car's had to go into the shop at least once every month since I got it back in April.
The first month, it needed a new fuel filter.
The Second month, it needed a new alternator.
The third month, it needed a couple of relay switches in the fuel & ignition systems raplaced.
The day after I got it out of the shop, the fuel pump died.

Of course, every stinkin' time, I had to call my folks to give me a ride.
At their age, & with gas prices what they are, my folks got tired of this real quick.

So, they went out & got me a Qingqi Happy 50.
I'm liking it. I see a lot of them around.
I don't think it's just the price of gas, the taxes, or these crazy economic times; these things are actually popular for some reason.
Still, I think I'm the only guy in all of Richmond who hasn't tried to scrape the name "Happy 50" off the side.

Then again, I probably don't need to; I've got the biggest pair of saddle bags you've ever seen.
Covers up that name badge quite nicely.
______________________________________

The other day, I glanced over at a pile of movies I've been meaning to put away.
One of them was an old close-out VHS of Star Wars.

When I was little, me & all my friends (and even my enemies) were huge Star Wars fanatics.
We had all the books, action figures, posters, trading cards, any shameless swag you can imagine.
I once got one of those mini movie things for my birthday with Star Wars on it.
You know, one of those things with a strip of super 8 film in it, that you hold it up to the light, turn the crank & squint through a little plastic lens.
I thought this was the coolest thing ever.
I could watch the battle scenes over & over, play them backwards, & even figured out how to watch it one frame at a time.
Some of those images are still burned into my mind.

So, one day, a friend of mine & I were playing Star Wars outside, when my friend blurted out "I wish we had a movie of Star Wars", to which I replied "I've got a movie of Star Wars". Knowing I was referring to my view master thingy, or whatever it was, he replied "No, I mean I wish we had a whole movie of it".

Well, it's in my collection.
Your's?

[ghouck]

When I was in the 3rd grade, manhood was based on how many times you has seen Star Wars.

[Mr. DS]

Remember back in the day when your friends called your parents "Mr" and "Mrs".  Whatever happened to that?

[Patient7]

Remember back in the day when your friends called your parents "Mr" and "Mrs".  Whatever happened to that?

I don't know, I do it but it seems to be dying.  It seems to be inversely proportional to the popularity of rap music, coincidence?  I THINK NOT!!!

[Psycho Circus]

Remember back in the day when your friends called your parents "Mr" and "Mrs".  Whatever happened to that?

I don't know, I do it but it seems to be dying.  It seems to be inversely proportional to the popularity of rap music, coincidence?  I THINK NOT!!!

Remember, you can't spell crap without rap

[ghouck]

Remember back in the day when your friends called your parents "Mr" and "Mrs".  Whatever happened to that?

I don't know, I do it but it seems to be dying.  It seems to be inversely proportional to the popularity of rap music, coincidence?  I THINK NOT!!!

Naaah, , it already had it's hat and coat on and was halfway out the door when 'Rap' arrived. My parents TOLD kids to call them by their first name, , personally, I can't stand that MR. bull$hit, , and 'Sir' is even worse.

[Rev. Powell]

Remember back in the day when your friends called your parents "Mr" and "Mrs".  Whatever happened to that?

I don't know, I do it but it seems to be dying.  It seems to be inversely proportional to the popularity of rap music, coincidence?  I THINK NOT!!!

Naaah, , it already had it's hat and coat on and was halfway out the door when 'Rap' arrived. My parents TOLD kids to call them by their first name, , personally, I can't stand that MR. bull$hit, , and 'Sir' is even worse.

To this day, may 60ish parents insist my friends refer to them as "Dawg" and "Ho". 

[ghouck]

So, they went out & got me a Qingqi Happy 50.
I'm liking it. I see a lot of them around.
I don't think it's just the price of gas, the taxes, or these crazy economic times; these things are actually popular for some reason.
Still, I think I'm the only guy in all of Richmond who hasn't tried to scrape the name "Happy 50" off the side.

If I were you, I'd add a zero or two, , make it a "Happy 500" or even a "Happy 5000". Watch the women STAMPEDE to you , , chicks dig big, bad motorcycles.

[Joe the Destroyer]

Just once, I'd like to be able to leave a GameStop without hearing, "So, did you pre-order [insert crappy new game here]?  No?  Well, you won't it after release date."  Bulls**t.  I work at a Wal-Mart.  Every game they've told me I "won't find" we've had a huge back stock of, even Madden, Grand Theft Auto, and Super Smash Bros.  And what difference does it make if I buy it on release or wait a month?  I honestly don't need to play new games right away. 

[ghouck]

Yea, they're just trying to a) secure a sale, and b) put money in the bank that isn't theirs yet so to speak. As long as people are dumb enough to fall for it.

At some toys-r-us, when the Wii came out, they had people pre-pay, , and when the units came in, they sold them all off the shelves like normal, ,so if you pre-paid, , you still had to beat the crowd and physically grab one. There was absolutely NO advantage of pre-purchasing, except you lost your ability use that money elsewhere.

[LilCerberus]

I once had a job loading inserters at a local paper.
We'd get to read all the Sunday ads a week in advance.

We'd start loading those Thanks Giving day doorbuster ads a month in advance.

Trouble was, of course, it was the paper.
Weekends, holidays, inclement weather, monsters attacking the city, forget it.
____________________________________

My first job was for a printing contractor.

We once got a last minute rush order to produce 1,000 of these really beautiful & elaborate "Free Mandela" posters.
We got 'em all done, did 'em right, and satisfied with our work, packed 'em up ready to ship next morning, & went home.

Guess what happened that night when I flicked on the TV news.
They still had to pay for 'em.

[indianasmith]

Why do we say someone is "sicker than a dog" when cats throw up way more often than dogs do?

[ghouck]

Why do they say "Drunk as a Skunk"? Skunks do not get intoxicated on anything, unlike Koala bears, Sloths, and HUMANS. People refer to an intoxicated person as an animal that NEVER gets intoxicated to point out how intoxicated that person is? Weird. .

I had the fingerprint area of one of my fingers cut off when I was in high school. It was right down to the bone, and I actually went to the hospital in a different ambulance than my finger did. BUT, years before THAT accident, I had cut across the same area, fairly deeply. When they sewed my finger back together after the second accident, they didn't get it aligned quite right, so the scar is a circle with a line going through it, but the line INSIDE the circle doesn't like up with the line OUTSIDE of the circle. The finger cut-off accident happened a couple days before the first space shuttle disaster, I saw the initial newsflash. That week I also experienced the first earthquake I'd ever felt.

Funniest thing ever said, so it's not surprising George Carlin was the one to say it:
"I've never banged a TEN, but I have banged FIVE TWOS"