The Unofficial Badmovies.org Random Thought Thread!

[Chainsawmidget]

In 2017 I want my children to start doing volunteer work. I want them to know that just because you can't do everything you can still do something. I would like to instill in them the truth that aiding other people contains a nobility that self-oriented undertakings can never have.

Are they going to volunteer themselves or are you going to volunteer for them?

[LilCerberus]

I wonder why they never started making a bunch of sequels & prequels & spinoffs to Corvette Summer, like they did with Jaws or Smokey And The Bandit & the like...

[ER]

In 2017 I want my children to start doing volunteer work. I want them to know that just because you can't do everything you can still do something. I would like to instill in them the truth that aiding other people contains a nobility that self-oriented undertakings can never have.

Are they going to volunteer themselves or are you going to volunteer for them?

Ever read when Tom Sawyer was painting that fence?

[ER]

When I was fifteen my father traumatized me by telling me about the drugs he did once upon a time, then wrapped up by telling me this dizzying cautionary tale about the true nature of boys by illustrating the point with a shocking story of how in college he basically broke this truly nice girl's heart and wrecked her life for a long, long time, and then he goes, "Do you know who she was?"

And he told me, and I about fell over, because I actually knew this woman! I knew her, she was within the periphery of family life, and I thought Jesus Christ and God, she's actually talked to me. I used to see her all the time. She knew my grandma!

OMG she'd write my dad these sweet letters and my dad totally used her and told her sorry I'm not the slightest bit interested in getting married and won't be for a decade, and he dumped her, and then went to Ireland and married my mother, and the poor girl back home got invited to the wedding by my grandma, who did not know any better, and the girl's mother and sister actually came, and brought her home wedding cake!!!

I was so mangled to find all this out I contemplated incurring some sort of head injury for short-term memory loss, but instead went to my cousin for solace and what'd she say? "My uncle was a serial virgin-deflowering he-slut in the '70s, who dropped acid to get in some hippie chick's pants at Columbia? I've got new respect for him!"

The moral of the story is your parents were fully human before they became parents, and life's easier when you accept that. I plan on gently easing my own kids into the water little by little rather than throwing them into the deep end like my dad did me. I'll begin with sweet little things like the time I was thirteen and sneaked into a boy's bedroom while he wasn't home, and laid in his bed, just to see what it was like, and eventually tell them I was briefly engaged the summer after high school. If they survive that maybe someday I'll let them in on the secret that their mother is not actually a virgin, and she has actually inhaled a time or two.

I don't know why everyone says parenting is so challenging. As you can tell, I got it all mapped out.

[ER]

My mother in law was in hospital getting both knees done. Popped down to the Subway for a snack while we were waiting on the operation finishing and got told "Hey, you speak pretty good English for someone who isn't from the USA".

All things considered that last bit struck me as insanely funny.

[AoTFan]

My mom was showing off the ringtones on her new phone.  For me, she put in a monster growling sound. 

[Alex]

My mother in law was in hospital getting both knees done. Popped down to the Subway for a snack while we were waiting on the operation finishing and got told "Hey, you speak pretty good English for someone who isn't from the USA".

All things considered that last bit struck me as insanely funny.

It has been causing quite a few chuckles with friends and family here too. Although it isn't quite at the top of the list of silliest things said during visits to the US. Kristi's aunt (who is by no means unintelligent) on first meeting me asked my questions like "What is north of Scotland, Canada?, Do you use money in the UK and if you do can you use it in the US? & Do you have bakeries in Scotland and can you buy bread?". I've been asked for William Wallace's autograph, if Europe has plumbing, is Scotland in the middle of the Mediterranean (at that point I did consider getting all of Kristi's family atlas's for christmas since that one was from her mom) and many other similiar things. I am sure Kristi has an equally long list of things people from Europe have asked her and one of these days I am going to start a quotes book of them.

[Rev. Powell]

For weeks I've been seeing googleweblight.com as "Google we blight." Just realized how it's actually supposed to read.

[claws]

According to my Facebook #yearinreview2016 I  900 things from Jan to Nov. That's an average 2.92  on a daily basis. One of my friends gave out 35,000  . That's an average of 113  per day 

[javakoala]

For weeks I've been seeing googleweblight.com as "Google we blight." Just realized how it's actually supposed to read.

So...it's a blank (white) webpage. Jesus, what did we ever do before the Internet came along? 

[AoTFan]

Wonder if you could carve out a pumpkin and put a flame in it that wasn't orange.  Like maybe blue or green.  That'd be really cool!

Remember a scene in a Breaking Bad ep where Walter White is teaching chemistry class and he's got three spray bottles and a lit bunsen burner.  He sprays the flame with each bottle in change the flame to red, blue and green respectively.  Dunno what chemicals were in the bottles, but maybe that would work...

[ER]

I've made a promise to myself that if I ever want to get a tattoo, the first one I get must be Pip Boy from the Fallout series dressed as Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot. I figure that way I'll never get a tattoo. Kind of like when you're getting married, and they tell you if you never have your first fight you'll never have all the others?

I've also started thinking that if I live to be eighty, I might get a tramp stamp, just to mess with the minds of everyone around me.

The fact is I hate tattoos. I mean, hate them. Detest them. Loathe them. Years ago I begged and pleaded with this man I used to be close to, not to get Quannah Parker tattooed on his back. Well he did---Texans, what can you do about them, right?---and not long after that I quit talking to him. Is that shallow of me?

I think Jews are onto something, get a tattoo, no burial in sacred ground. (Some Jews I know swear that's only a myth.) But what trips me out about that is the prohibition against tattoos is generally cited as a violation of the "graven images" part of the Ten Commandments, right? And yet you go in modern suburban temples and you see all sorts of art there which depicts human and animal figures. They put coupons in their bulletins with Ronald McDonald in there, so where's the line drawn? (No pun intended....or is it?)

So I been sitting here tonight thinking about tattoos because one of our workers got a tat over the weekend and showed up to work and helped haul out this disease-ridden old sofa someone left in a basement of a house---this was yesterday---and today the site of the tattoo looked like blood poisoning, and I think maybe, just maybe he got it infected, and since that sofa was probably, like, 1970s vintage, seriously, sitting in a none-too-sanitary basement in an abandoned 1890s house, what if he is now host to some new form of single-celled life?

I mean, shrug, I don't care THAT much if his arm, like, rots off, but thing is, we've invited everybody to a Christmas party, and my kids will be there, and so now I'm thinking, gee, what if he has something contagious, and my kids end up at the CDC in little plastic igloos, all because of this guy's one possibly infected tattoo?

That would SO ruin Christmas, and my daughter's getting a corn snake in her stocking and JHC, death at this point would absolutely mess up the entire holiday.

So I'd like some advice:

A. Do nothing and see if his infection goes away.
B. Cancel the Christmas party tomorrow like some hausfrau Grinch.
C. Uninvite Mr. Rashy Arm
D. Have some obliging meth-heads abduct him and put him in quarantine.

I really do not like tattoos.

[LilCerberus]

I showed up early for a networking event earlier, & got talked into playing Santa for a few minutes at the end.

It's one of those things you really don't want to do, then you do it and you're like, "Oh, wow!", y'know?

[Paquita]

A. Do nothing and see if his infection goes away.
B. Cancel the Christmas party tomorrow like some hausfrau Grinch.
C. Uninvite Mr. Rashy Arm
D. Have some obliging meth-heads abduct him and put him in quarantine.

Maybe poke it with a gloved finger and ask if it hurts and insist he wrap it with gauze and see a doctor either way?  My friends step-dad told her to put earwax on a guys weenie and if it sizzles he probably has some sort of infection.  I'm sure that's 100% true, so maybe you should try that?  But on his arm not on his weenie.

I think you're over-reacting.  I'm sure he's not the first person to get a possibly infected tattoo and whatever life forms mingling with the 1970s couch in the 1890s basement have long since passed on.  Just hope he doesn't have hepatitis :).

I like tattoos.. I won't get one though.

 

[ER]

Soooo, one time I was waiting in line to see this movie, and this man in front of me had this kid with him, a total brat, maybe seven, and I figured the man was the kid's father, but turned out he was actually his mom's boyfriend. Okay, all good, right? Then I listened harder, and the man was saying to this kid, "Shut the f**k up, you little a***ole. I have to take you here to get your mom to put out, but it doesn't mean I have to entertain your ass. So shut the f**k up."

I was so shocked to hear someone talking like, especially to a child (even if he was being bratty), I didn't exactly know what to do. I could have said, "Watch your language." I guess anyway, told somebody, but the thing is, I was only eleven myself, my mom had dropped me off, and hearing someone say all that shook me up so much I walked out of line and never did get in to see Ghostbusters 2 there at the discount movies, and to this very day I have never seen another Ghostbusters film.

Seriously.