Bad Movie Creation Matrix

[Mortal Envelope]

Roll some six sided dice to create your own bad movie or better yet create your own matrix for the rest of us to roll on.

I highlighted my rolls but this is the plot I got:
Patrick Swayze and Will Smith on the mean streets fighting robots created by the Evil German Scientist with a patch over one eye who wants to get in on Gramma's will.

Matrix: A Boy and His Dog Studios

Title: Cold Inheritance (made it up)

Your movie's main star is:
1. Mr. T
2. Patrick Swazye
3. Ted McGenley(sp)
4. Pamala Anderson
5. Ben Affleck
6. Madonna

The setting of your movie is:
1. A beach
2. High School
3. Science Lab
4. Prison
5. The Mean Streets
6. Small town Iowa

The antagonist lackies are:
1. Bikers
2. Ninjas
3. Clowns
4. Suit-n-tie guys
5. Zombies
6. Robots

The main bad guy/gal:
1. evil computer
2. Crazy witch
3. German Scientist
4. Evil Parents
5. Evil Capitalist
6. Evil Government Politician

And has this attribute:
1. a patch over one eye
2. cybornetic
3. alien-origins
4. a peg leg
5. a long goatee
6. hippy attire

The side kick/secondary protagonist:
1. Tom Arnold
2. Will Smith
3. Wee Man
4. Ashton Kutcher
5. Mi Mi
6. Martin Lawrence

The main plot device is:
1. a mystery disk
2. someone's will
3. the sword of funderra
4. a dusty book
5. an old treasure map
6. a possessed car

Monster
1. Slimey Space Slug
2. 50s robot
3. Studdering Satyr
4. Cyclops
5. Werecat
6. Sea creature

Twist Ending
1. Revealed family relationship (secret father, discover a lost sibling, etc.)
2. It was all just a dream
3. Evil twins or triplets were behind everything
4. Everyone's actually dead and existing in a ghost world
5. Main character has multiple personalities who we thought were actual characters all along
6. It was all some kind of elaborate set up and/or hoax

[JaseSF]

Your movie's main star is:

1. John Agar
2. Cameron Mitchell
3. Pamela Duncan
4. Kenneth Tobey
5. Peter Graves
6. Beverly Garland

The setting of your movie is:

1. A typical small town
2. The Desert
3. Another Planet (Mars most likely or perhaps Venus)
4. A Cave (Bronson Canyons serves nicely for these last two)
5. Tokyo, Japan
6. On a boat or submarine

The antagonist lackies are:

1. Ninjas
2. Soldiers/Mercenaries
3. Hunchback Lab Assistant
4. Alien/mutant underlings
5. Werewolves Controlled by Radar
6. A giant Spider or Spider-like Monstrosity

The main bad guy/gal:

1. Alien mastermind or overload bent on taking over the Earth
2. Mad Scientist Seeking Revenge on the World
3. Count or Countess Dracula
4. Your Own Government's President/Prime Minister Looking For a Secret means of Control
5. A descendant of Dr. Frankenstein
6. A resurrected Hitler

And has this attribute:

1. Is Completely Insane yet Greatly Feared by All Around Him/Her
2. Has a robotic arm made of steel
3. Has a Wild Gleam in Their Eye
4. Is Now A Floating Head or Head in a Jar Somehow Kepy Alive
5. Only Appears to be Human but is in fact an hideous monstrosity which will eventually be revealed
6. Likes to Shoot or by some other means quickly dispose of those underlings who fail him/her

The side kick/secondary protagonist:

1. Donald Curtis
2. Lee Van Cleef
3. Dick Miller
4. Tim Donnelly
5. Faith Domergue
6. Dick Sargent

The main plot device is:

1. A very special spaceship or submarine, maybe a combo of both
2. A ring of power
3. World Conquest
4. The secret to immortality
5. Another giant monster friendly to Earth, especially its children
6. Group control or mass alien consciousness

O.k. here goes:

Cameron Mitchell along with Tim Connelly, in a darkened cave at night, must battle werewolves controlled by radar under the command of a resurrected Hitler with a wild gleam in his eye while seeking a special ring of power, the only device that can destroy the revived Nazi menace! 

[Mortal Envelope]

heheeh I'll try one from yours:

Your movie's main star is:

1. John Agar
2. Cameron Mitchell
3. Pamela Duncan
4. Kenneth Tobey
5. Peter Graves
6. Beverly Garland

The setting of your movie is:

1. A typical small town
2. The Desert
3. Another Planet (Mars most likely or perhaps Venus)
4. A Cave (Bronson Canyons serves nicely for these last two)
5. Tokyo, Japan
6. On a boat or submarine

The antagonist lackies are:

1. Ninjas
2. Soldiers/Mercenaries
3. Hunchback Lab Assistant
4. Alien/mutant underlings
5. Werewolves Controlled by Radar
6. A giant Spider or Spider-like Monstrosity

The main bad guy/gal:

1. Alien mastermind or overload bent on taking over the Earth
2. Mad Scientist Seeking Revenge on the World
3. Count or Countess Dracula
4. Your Own Government's President/Prime Minister Looking For a Secret means of Control
5. A descendant of Dr. Frankenstein
6. A resurrected Hitler

And has this attribute:

1. Is Completely Insane yet Greatly Feared by All Around Him/Her
2. Has a robotic arm made of steel
3. Has a Wild Gleam in Their Eye
4. Is Now A Floating Head or Head in a Jar Somehow Kepy Alive
5. Only Appears to be Human but is in fact an hideous monstrosity which will eventually be revealed
6. Likes to Shoot or by some other means quickly dispose of those underlings who fail him/her

The side kick/secondary protagonist:

1. Donald Curtis
2. Lee Van Cleef
3. Dick Miller
4. Tim Donnelly
5. Faith Domergue
6. Dick Sargent

The main plot device is:

1. A very special spaceship or submarine, maybe a combo of both
2. A ring of power
3. World Conquest
4. The secret to immortality
5. Another giant monster friendly to Earth, especially its children
6. Group control or mass alien consciousness

Beverly Garland is assisted by her man secretary, Tim Donnelly to fight Countess Dracula's Ninja minions in the Sahara desert.  They discover that Countess Dracula is just a head in a jar somehow kept alive, forever searching for the secret of immortality!

[indianasmith]

Shouldn't one of the dice have boobies on it somewhere?

[JaseSF]

And I'll try yours too MortalEnvelope:

Ben Affleck, along with his buddy Martin Lawrence search for the mystical sword of funderra in a top secret corporate science lab. There they must battle evil suit and tie guys controlled by a crazy witch with a peg leg. The sword is key to her source of power.

[Doc Daneeka]

Shouldn't one of the dice have boobies on it somewhere?

2 boobies
3 eyes
4 barrels on a shotgun
5 deadly venoms
a 6 with 3 points
And something with a "1" correlation

[Mortal Envelope]

I forgot to include a matrix for the movie's monster and maybe one for a twist ending


Monster
1. Slimey Space Slug
2. 50s robot
3. Studdering Satyr
4. Cyclops
5. Werecat
6. Sea creature

Twist Ending
1. Revealed family relationship (secret father, discover a lost sibling, etc.)
2. It was all just a dream
3. Evil twins or triplets were behind everything
4. Everyone's actually dead and existing in a ghost world
5. Main character has multiple personalities who we thought were actual characters all along
6. It was all some kind of elaborate set up and/or hoax

So in revision, my stories are:

Cold Inheritance
A. Patrick Swayze and Will Smith on the mean streets fighting robots created by the Evil German Scientist with a patch over one eye who wants to get in on Gramma's will.  Swayze and Smith defeat a gill man to discover that Swayze, Smith, the evil German, and the gill man are all cousins on the same will!

Sands of Time
B.  Beverly Garland is assisted by her man secretary, Tim Donnelly to fight Countess Dracula's Ninja minions in the Sahara desert.  They discover that Countess Dracula is just a head in a jar somehow kept alive, powering a 50s robot exosuit.  The irony is that she is forever searching for the secret of immortality!  But Berverly realizes it was all just a dream.

[Mortal Envelope]

Another roll of the dice:

The Car 2.5
A. After breaking out of prison, Mr. T and Ashton Kutcher get chased by rodeo clowns until they steal a hippy van possessed by an evil computer.  Ashton's character bumbles into accidently discovering that this whole story is just a computer simulation created by a were panther!

Welcome to the Jungle
B. President Carter catpures and deports John Agar and Dick Miller to Venusian jungle for mind control experimentation.  They fight their way out through hordes of giant spiders to discover President Carter is really a giant alien slug in disquise!  They subdue the giant alien long enough to steal his special hyperdrive star ship to strand him on Venus forever!

[JaseSF]

Wow. That "Welcome to the Jungle" movie sounds awesome. 

[Mortal Envelope]

Shouldn't one of the dice have boobies on it somewhere?

The Gratuity Theme Matrix:
1. Boobs
2. Explosions
3. Martial Arts Madness
4. Abundant Gore
5. One-liner mania
6. Tasteless Product Placement

Now it's your turn to roll up a movie :)

[Mortal Envelope]

Wow. That "Welcome to the Jungle" movie sounds awesome. 

Thanks! Hehe, it was all rolled up from your matrix -turned out pretty wild.  You should add your own monster and twist ending matrix. Heck, you could add any other ideas you have for more matrices.  I started giving mine titles after writing up a summary of the dice roll.  I think I'm gonna give my matrix some crazy studio name so it's easier to differentiate the names if we make more.

[Mortal Envelope]

Matrix 3: Burning Barn Productions

Title: The Big Top Express

Premise:  Brittney Spears and Bobcat Goldthwait stow away on a train fighting circus folk with some martial arts madness.  The circus is lead by Harcore Drill Sgt. Kreenos, who's been known to beat his family.  Brittney discovers the train is hauling a stolen tank, which her and Bobcat use to escape the train and fight a nuclear-deformed mutant woman.  During the fight, Bobcat dies at the hands of the mutant woman afer previously mentioning that he's only three weeks away from retirement.

Your movie's main star is:
1. Adam West
2. Pauly Shore
3. Carrot Top
4. Brittney Spears
5. Rosie O'Donnel
6. Dr. Phil

The setting of your movie is:
1. the old west
2. midwest suburbia
3. in SPACE!
4. college campus
5. train
6. Amazon jungle

The Gratuity Theme Matrix:
1. Boobs
2. Explosions
3. Martial Arts Madness
4. Abundant Gore
5. One-liner mania
6. Tasteless Product Placement

The antagonist lackies are:
1. rabbid dogs
2. skinheads and punkers
3. circus folk
4. teenage hoodlums
5. bounty hunters
6. red-shirted cadets

The main bad guy/gal:
1. The Principal: Mrs. Togar
2. Big Brother
3. a Demon
4. Hardcore drill Sgt Kreenos
5. Gang Lord G-low
6. Satan Cult Leader Thraxus

And has this attribute:
1. is totally insane (bi-polar and paranoid schizophrenia)
2. cannibal
3. a hook for a hand
4. alcoholic or drug addiction
5. has a mullet and camaro
6. beats family

The side kick/secondary protagonist:
1. An animated kiddie character (talking animal) that only the main character can see
2. Steve Guttenberg
3. Bobcat Goldthwait(sp?)
4. Rosanne Barr
5. Star Jones
6. Jay-lo

The main plot device is:
1. a record contract
2. prom night
3. an apple pie
4. the holy grail
5. a stolen tank
6. a crashed plane discovered underwater

Monster
1. a grizzly bear
2. a nuclear-deformed mutant woman
3. 50 Ft Woman
4. a ghost
5. a giant boar
6. big foot/yeti

Twist Ending
1. A secret and life-shattering affair is revealed
2. major unexpected betrayals and double-crossing
3. everyone realizes they are machines
4. grandpa's a werewolf!
5. main character is handicapped/maimed in climax
6. some character(s) die

[darthchicken]

How come Bruce Campbell isn't on any of the character lists?

[JaseSF]

Hmm I really think people should be left to dream up their own monsters and twist spins as they should desire but here's some suggestions for the Monster:

Monster:

1: A Giant Cat
2. A Person Who Has Grown to Humongous Size after exposure to Radiation
3. Something Inspired by H. P. Lovecraft
4. A Demon
5. A ghost pirate
6. An Alien Slug Creature

[Mortal Envelope]

Yes...each list can have or not have any of the same components.  We need more people to create lists for us to roll on!

Here's another from your matrix:

Rising Sun, Falling Star
Peter Graves and Faith Domergue face alien invasion while on tour in Tokyo, Japan.  They fight mutant underlings, previously disquised as humans.  They are lead by an evil alien overlord who delights in killing his lackies for failing, or sometimes just for the sake of it.  The protagonists discover the alien is an escapee from a crashed prison ship.