WORST MOVIE EVER!!

[pjpants]

it was aftermath! that was a pointless movie that was just tring to shock people. enimy at the gates came out and i was in college (majoring in russian history mind you) and i HATED it. english accents, historical inaccuracies, and a guy with bullet teeth. wow just wow awful

[peter johnson]

Yeah, this thread has already collapsed a bit, but that's to be expected when you ask a question like that around here --
"Worst Movie Ever!!" can't be entertaining.  Some of the bad films mentioned here have amused at least some of us with their very badness.  I mean, you can't mention "Pumaman!" on a thread like this because you can get so much amusement from the crap special effects, the ridiculous story, the Donald Plesance scenery chewing, etc. etc., so even though any serious film student would find it appalling, we here would find it wonderful in its own special way.
* * *
That said, while I've seen some films lately that I really hated, they can't qualify as "Worst Ever" because of say, good photography or high production values.  I don't think it would be fair to some really horrible films were I to name "The Devil Wears Prada" as The Worst Film Ever simply because I loathed it as a film. 
So, I guess, for sheer mind-numbing-I-don't-understand-why-anyone-likes-this-ness, for me it's still got to be "Equinox", even though I have a good friend who's not mentally challenged who really enjoys it -- even has the Special DVD Edition of it, with all the bells and whistles.  Get that thing away from me . . .
No way in heckfire are we going to get any consensus here on Worst Film Ever, though some of the nominations make me laugh, and that's a good thing!
peter johnson/denny crane

[HarlotBug3]

Britney, Baby, One More Time...


American Movie was such a monument to every kind of mockumenterary that I had high hopes.

I can't even remember if I finished it, because memory of it brings back violent emotions.

I wanted to murder whoever it was that put the money up for this perfect example of movies going from bad, to pitiful, to unforgivable.

[jpgordo]

Tennessee Williams' Haunted Alligators is pretty terrible from the early 1960s.  It's playing all this month on the Manka Classic Movies Channel... really bad...

http://www.mankabros.com/television/manka_classic_movies/index.htm

[Kester Pelagius]

No way in heckfire are we going to get any consensus here on Worst Film Ever, though some of the nominations make me laugh, and that's a good thing!

You want a consensus for WORST FILMS/FILM MAKERS EVER?

I've got two words for you: Polonia.  Brothers.

[Raffine]

No way in heckfire are we going to get any consensus here on Worst Film Ever, though some of the nominations make me laugh, and that's a good thing!

You want a consensus for WORST FILMS/FILM MAKERS EVER?

I've got two words for you: Polonia.  Brothers.

I'd call 'em a close second to Andy Milligan, but God Bless the Polonia Brothers! 

On a more somber note, did you know John Polonia passed away earlier this year?

http://www.badmovies.org/forum/index.php/topic,118267.0.html

There movies are wonderfully terrible but this was really sad... 

[akiratubo]

Alligator Alley - Bad, bad, bad movie about drug smugglers in the Everglades.  That sentence is more entertaining than the movie, mind you.

Headless Eyes - A guy is robbing a woman and she puts out his eye.  He then goes around spewing a stream-of-consciousness voiceover and putting out people's eyes after stalking them for EXTREMELY long periods of screentime.  Even when the son of a b***h DIES he won't stop with the voiceover.

Exterminator II - It has all the stuff I usually love about bad 80s action movies, but it sucks.  It hurts in a way few movies can.

Headwig and the Angry Inch - A guy from East Germany gets his penis cut off - leaving him with the "angry inch" - so he can pretend to be a woman and accompany his American lover back to the 'States.  Bonus: it's a musical.

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues - Uma Thurman has huge thumbs, making her the world's greatest Hitchhiker.  She goes to a commune full of lesbian cowgirls and ... er, stuff doesn't exactly "happen" but there is stuff.  Near the end, there's a fairly lengthy monologue about paper bags blowing in the wind.

[peter johnson]

?? --
I don't get cable or satellite, but can someone fill me in as to what the deal is with this "Manka Bros.", please?
I went to the site, and it looks to be an overly-long parody of Turner or AMC.  It even has made-up "fun facts", and interviews with non-existent people.  Some of the joke descriptions of films did make me smile some, but it seems pretty obsessive to me -- someone seems to have built an entire false history of films and studios, but some of it also seems to purport to be "real" --
Surely, none of these --"Tennessee Williams' Haunted Alligators"??? -- are real films . . . or are they?
Firesign Theatre constructs elaborate false worlds as well, with their own recurring characters and internal logic -- How best to approach this "Manka" business?
peter johnson/denny crane

[Kester Pelagius]

I'd call 'em a close second to Andy Milligan, but God Bless the Polonia Brothers! 

Don't recall if I've seen any of his movies.  Are they worse than what Asylum's released straight to DVD recently?

Granted some of their movies are fun, in a hilariously bad sort of way.  Then there is Dragon.  I just can't imagine anyone making a 'movie' worse than Dragon.  It's utter rubbish.

On a more somber note, did you know John Polonia passed away earlier this year?

No.  I was not aware of that.

Now a moment of silence for those who brought us PREYLIEN.

[CheezeFlixz]

Don't recall if I've seen any of his movies.  Are they worse than what Asylum's released straight to DVD recently?

Granted some of their movies are fun, in a hilariously bad sort of way.  Then there is Dragon.  I just can't imagine anyone making a 'movie' worse than Dragon.  It's utter rubbish.

So are you saying when I rented last week and had to return it unwatched do to lack of time to view it, I didn't miss anything ... I'll confess the previews looked pretty cool (but they normally do).

[Kester Pelagius]

So are you saying when I rented last week and had to return it unwatched do to lack of time to view it, I didn't miss anything ... I'll confess the previews looked pretty cool (but they normally do).

Your tastes may be different than mine.  See my review of >Dragon<.  But, to summarize:

WTF?  An empty lot 'forest', more 'forest', everywhere 'forest' and trees. .  more trees. . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Raffine]

Don't recall if I've seen any of his movies.  Are they worse than what Asylum's released straight to DVD recently?

Here's a good primer on Milligan, who's probably best known for his werewolf 'epic' THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE!:

Andy Milligan's Ghastly Stew part 1
http://www.horror-wood.com/milligan.htm

Part 2
http://www.horror-wood.com/andym.htm

[peter johnson]

Hey, I bought "Dragon" for a buck, too!  I want my buck back!!
"Haunted house movie"??  I'm shooting a Haunted House movie right now, and things HAPPEN in Haunted House movies -- your review that says "Dragon" is about nothing & people standing around babbling about nothing and doing nothing is bang on the mark.  I kept waiting for something, anything to take place -- boy did I waste my time.  The extremely poor CGI dragon -- looking vaguely like an irritated Australian beaded-dragon lizard -- appears all of 2 times.
Don't spend your dollar on this one!!!
. . . still, it didn't inspire in me the raw disgust that "The Devil Wears Prada" does . . .
peter johnson/denny crane

[CheezeFlixz]

So are you saying when I rented last week and had to return it unwatched do to lack of time to view it, I didn't miss anything ... I'll confess the previews looked pretty cool (but they normally do).

Your tastes may be different than mine.  See my review of >Dragon<.  But, to summarize:

WTF?  An empty lot 'forest', more 'forest', everywhere 'forest' and trees. .  more trees. . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alright I rented it again today (Movie Gallery has 5 gallery rents for $2.50 for 5 days) and I'm going to see if it just that bad you foks say ... surely it's not worse than a Uwe Boll production and I like his crappy movies.

[Raffine]

Anybody see THE WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005)?

No, not the Speilberg version, and not the one with C. Thomas Howell, but the looong Timothy Hines version with the goofy CGI and the many, many walking sequences?