Bad Baby Names

[Ash]

Ever notice lately how lots of parents give their kids "bad" names?
I'm not talking about celebrity kid names.  Those are in a class all their own.
I'm referring to the names everyday people give their kids.
99% of them are simply awful!

I just finished reading this article about the hottest baby names of 2008 and most of them make me want to puke.
http://features.parents.com/baby-names-2008.html

Many of them have a self-righteous and pretentious feel to them.  Sure, I know that these parents think their kid is the most special of all kids, but come on!

Girl names:
Madison?  Addison?  Riley?  Bailey?  Teagan?
Those sound like company brand names.

It gets even worse for boys.
Aiden?  Jayden?  Caleb?  Caden?  Dylan?  Avery?  Grayson!?
UGH!  Barf city!
I was surprised to see Matthew, James, Michael and Andrew on the list, so there is some hope.

Most of the names these days are just terrible.
The worst name I can think of that drives me up the wall is Mckayla.  Never before have I heard a more trailer trash sounding name.  If you've named your kid that, there's no hope for you...or them.

I don't have any kids yet, but you can bet your a** that if I do, they're getting a "normal" name.

What do you think?

[Rev. Powell]

I greatly prefer traditional names that have some meaning and history behind them.  No offense to people who like these newer "yuppie" names, but the first thing I think of when I hear a child with one of these names is "too bad the parents didn't want to put much thought into naming the poor kid, but just went with something shallow and trendy."

That said, I don't think all of the boys names you listed are truly awful.  Caleb is a Biblical name, although parents seem to be reaching for certain rare Biblical names just because they're uncommon rather than because of the name's significance.  Dylan is (was) a dignified Welsh name, though it sucks when parents name a kid after Bob Dylan instead of Dylan Thomas. 

The girls names you list are all horrible.  They all sound like porn star names to me. 

More "hot" baby names I despise:

Girls:
Cadence (people are seriously naming their daughters afetr a synonym for "tempo"?) 
Britney (hopeful fading because no one wants to be reminded of Ms. Spears)
Nevaeh ("Heaven" backwards, get it?)
Savannah (my mom gave that name to her lapdog before it was popular with real parents)

Boys:
Brooklyn (!! Beckham & Posh's poor kid)
Colton (chosen I think solely so the kid can have the nickname "Colt" and therefore inevitably  grow up to be an NCAA quarterback)

[Psycho Circus]

Well, if I ever have a child I want it to be called Shandi, if it's a girl after the KISS song. Jayce if it's a boy. 

[Paquita]

I second that emotion!  I really hate this new last names for first names trend.  Especially because I work in HR and there are people the come on board with names like McKenzie Anthony and they get freakishly upset when they're accidentally put in the system as Anthony McKenzie and then I have to go punch them in the neck!  And it also seems like the people with these names LOVE their name more than someone with a more traditional name and have necklaces and coffee cups and labels with their stupid name all over it.  And these names are such a hit that I can't even comfortably complain about them in public because everyone loves them and gets offended!!

HOWEVER, I have a huge family and all the GOOD traditional names are taken. sometimes twice.  And working in HR and seeing every name you can think of (there was even a Lex Luther - no kidding) and having a face and personality to go with it, it kind of ruins a bunch of names for me because I now associate those names with those people.

So what I'm kind of making an explanation for is my daughters name - Lotus.  I love the name and it is a REAL name and some people might hate it (it sounds too much like Locust, etc..) but I can handle that because its still not as bad as Madison!  I figure if Lily can be a normal, pretty, acceptable name, so can Lotus!!  She's not named after the car either, but thankfully we live in the US so most people won't associate her with the car.  but I realize this is probably lumped in, or will be lumped in with these new trendy yuppie names.  I was horrified when I recently saw Lotus in Parents magazine as one of the hottest "nature" name for 2009 along with names like OCEAN!!  F'n Parents magazine!!  AND NOW! there's a stupid cell phone called Lotus!! What the hell!!  I swear there's idea stealing gremlins sitting under my bed taking notes and selling them to the highest bidder!

[JJ80]

In Glasgow and the West of Scotland, you occasionally hear about  parents naming their children (even girls) after the entire or a number of members of either of the "Old Firm" teams, Celtic or Rangers. When you consider that these teams are pretty multinational these days, that means that kids can end up with a mix of Scottish, Irish, French, Italian, Russian, Japanese etc names!

[zombie no.one]

The worst name I can think of that drives me up the wall is Mckayla. 

it's possible that the way it's spelled there makes it look trailer-trashy, because the traditional spelling is 'Michaela', which looks far more acceptable despite being pronounced exactly the same.

So what I'm kind of making an explanation for is my daughters name - Lotus.
 

I would say that name is too obscure to be considered 'pretentious'...unless her middle name's Espirit 

a guy I worked with's real name was Billy. he kept on having to get his paycheques and security passes etc changed because they would come in saying 'William'...

[indianasmith]

My Captain, back when I was in the navy, named his two boys Trammel and Frazier.  (This was long before the FRAZIER TV series.)

[Mr. DS]

Sorry to say we're in the new 60's with people getting completely carried away giving their kids outlandish names.  I feel there should be a person in every hospital to intervine if a kid's name is way too stupid.

[indianasmith]

My sister works as a maternity nurse; she had to intervene to keep a teenage mother from naming her daughter "that beautiful name the doctor said in the delivery room" -


Placenta.

[Doc Daneeka]

Blah, I can really, really sympathize with those saying the names sound like rich moms trying to make their kid sound fancier than the neighbors' kids, but I figure they have their genuine reasons and don't comment :P

[Fishasaurus]

I think of the names you're referring to as soap-opera names, because in my experience it started when GH and Dynasty started naming their kids Blake and Wade and la de da, after the characters on the shows.  I think the names people give their kids are laughable.  Even more so since George Carlin pointed out that some day the nursing homes are going to be filled with little old ladies named Caitlin and Tiffany, sporting gruesomely wrinkled tatoos.

[BeyondTheGrave]

I saw that same list the Ash put up and gaged at the name Aiden. First its a horrible name and second its a name of a crappy emo metal band thats popular in that scene. So its double the suck.

[ghouck]

Carlin did a bit on this a while back, something about "I bet our Tony's, Nicks, and Johnathans could kick your Kylers and Keenens @$$e$"

About the time my son was born, there were all kinds of people with kids with names I totally hate. Zach is one, Dallton is another. I knew one woman that had 4 girls, and another kid on the way, and all the girls were named after liquers "Tangeray and Krystal" and a bunch of others. I asked if they were named after what the mother was drunk on when she got knocked up, , nobody appreciated that joke but me.

I know someone that named their kid "Keegan", and they call him Kee-Kee, I also have a cousin they call "Rayme", , weird.

Before my son was born I chose the name Stephen. We had it all figured out, Stephen Michael was going to be his name. On the day he was born I filled out the birth certficate "Steven Michael", , so although his name is Steven, it's mis-spelled according to plan. In another thread I mentioned that he wanted to change his name legally to "Turbonegro".

Anyways, I'm not sure what possesses a person to name their kid something retarded, but enough people do. about 30 years ago there was a woman in Ohio that had twins that alledgedly named them Syphylis and Gohnorhea. Suposedly the state stepped in and took them away.

In Frank Zappa's autobiography, there's a story about when Dweezel was about to be born, how the nurse wouldn't admit the mom until she changed the name on some piece of paperwork. This nurse was going to let her drop this kid athe reception desk unless they agreed to NOT name the kid Dweezel. Apparently when he was several years old, he found out that his name legally WASN'T Dweezel, and made his parents get it changed, as that is all they ever called him any ways.

[Newt]

My sister works as a maternity nurse; she had to intervene to keep a teenage mother from naming her daughter "that beautiful name the doctor said in the delivery room" -


Placenta.

Indy?  Your story gave me quite a jolt: my brother was an obstetrician. He told the same story.  What is more against the odds: that it happened at least *twice* or that your sister and my brother worked the same hospital, together?   

[ghouck]

  What is more against the odds: that it happened at least *twice* or that your sister and my brother worked the same hospital, together?   

You obviously underestimate the number of bonehead teenage mothers in the world.