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I am on a mission...

Started by Joe the Destroyer, March 25, 2009, 01:45:53 AM

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Joe the Destroyer

To find a movie I can officially hate more than Superbeast.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069331/

Many of you may have seen this dull, lifeless flick during its run on TNT on its segments Monstervision or 100% Weird.  The only thing that kept me from changing the channel or turning on the nearest game system was that I wanted to see what the Superbeast looked like.  Cue disappointment.

I came very close once, after watching Night Train to Terror.  I ultimate decided it was only better than Superbeast by a single millimeter. 

I know, you've see "worst film ever" recommendation topics.  What I'm looking for are "so utterly awful it's unwatchable" recommendations.  Even if you have a give a gigantic list, just dump it right here. 

Underbelly

You've picked a large task there. I've need this film and it bad, very bad. I think I've seen films as bad, but worse . . . If i remember right, Superbeast film wasn't even fun to watch becuase it was so bad. It was just dull.

Psycho Circus

Party Crasher, the definition of dull.... :bluesad:

Jack

Evil Unleashed - The Mummy (2003).  Once you've seen this, you will never again complain about bad acting in a movie.  Most of these people have never been in front of a camera before, but they're happy to recite their lines as if reading from an encyclopedia.  One guy is trying to impress a girl, so he takes his shirt off and starts flexing his muscles.  This scene will make you ashamed, very ashamed, to be watching this movie.  Budget is zero, I mean, really.  Special effects include stuff like a guy having squiggly marks from a red pen drawn on his face.  I think it's also in 3-D, so some scenes are all blurry and out of focus. 

Death Tunnel (2005) - While I actually watched Evil Unleashed all the way through, I didn't make it ten minutes into this thing.  I think the reviewer at DVD Verdict describes it best: 
Quote"Visually this movie looks like a music video directed by a crystal meth addict who has recently developed a love for Maxwell House coffee; between the shaky camerawork, the machinegun editing, and the fact that most of the scenes appear to have been lit with strobe lights, it's enough to make your brain start oozing out through you eye sockets."
This is about the only movie I'd honestly rate a 0/5.

The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho

The Burgomaster

CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.  I have it on a double feature DVD from Something Weird (the other movie on the DVD, CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, is also bad, but at least Burt Young is in it -- I believe he uses a different name in the credits).  I also have CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN in a Mill Creek 50 Movie Pack!
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

RCMerchant

I DISMEMBER MAMA-great title...dull as dirt.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Skull

Quote from: The Burgomaster on March 25, 2009, 07:50:54 AM
CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.  I have it on a double feature DVD from Something Weird (the other movie on the DVD, CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, is also bad, but at least Burt Young is in it -- I believe he uses a different name in the credits).  I also have CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN in a Mill Creek 50 Movie Pack!

Which mill creek 50 pack???

I have 2 mill creek 50 packs and no Curse of the Headless Horseman... :(




I do agree Night Train is very bad. It seems that somebody has found a bunch of unfinished films from Richard Moll's garage sale and stiched it together with a bad MTV video.

Although I do like "Cataclysm," which is one of the movies featured in the story. I think there was actually 2 of the movies featured in Night Train are actually complete films, the other is Death Wish Club...

hehehe. Ok maybe near complete films.

I did own Cataclysm under the VHS title as "The Nightmare Never Ends" which had all the stop-motion-effects removed. And when I did saw Night Train I was quite suprised to see the missing stop-motion-effects footage. But since Night Train was a movie compiled of incomplete films I could only wonder if the stop-motion-effects were never added in the Cataclysm cut, or if was removed for "The Nightmare Never Ends" verson then I wonder if there was missing footage that happens before the operating room sceen.

Sadlly I have not seen the original Cataclysm available.




My first pick is: Return of the Boogeyman (1994)


My second pick is: Criminally Insane 2 (1987)

I have not seen DEATH NURSE and DEATH NURSE 2 which is supose to spin-off from the Criminally Insane series, and its hard to believe that somebody would make a spin-off after Criminally Insane 2... But Criminally Insane 2 seemed to be filmed by an old VHS/Beta Camcorder and I'm only assumig that the director/producer (hehehe) spend a buck for another cheap VHS/Beta tape for the Camcorder.


Sadly, Criminally Insane (1975) is a very good "Drive-In" horror film, that predates Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986). Although Criminally Insane felt depressing realistic in a fun way... the killer didnt look sexy, her victims didnt look good either and the dead bodies became a nuisance.

Its really sad how Criminally Insane is followed by Criminally Insane 2... :)

Cthulhu

Quote from: Skull on March 25, 2009, 11:43:28 AM
Quote from: The Burgomaster on March 25, 2009, 07:50:54 AM
CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.  I have it on a double feature DVD from Something Weird (the other movie on the DVD, CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, is also bad, but at least Burt Young is in it -- I believe he uses a different name in the credits).  I also have CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN in a Mill Creek 50 Movie Pack!

Which mill creek 50 pack???

I have 2 mill creek 50 packs and no Curse of the Headless Horseman... :(

Well, I don't know wich 50 pack is it on, but it is on mill creek's 100 horror pack.


Quote from: Joe the Destroyer on March 25, 2009, 01:45:53 AM
To find a movie I can officially hate more than Superbeast.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069331/

Many of you may have seen this dull, lifeless flick during its run on TNT on its segments Monstervision or 100% Weird.  The only thing that kept me from changing the channel or turning on the nearest game system was that I wanted to see what the Superbeast looked like.  Cue disappointment.

I came very close once, after watching Night Train to Terror.  I ultimate decided it was only better than Superbeast by a single millimeter. 

I know, you've see "worst film ever" recommendation topics.  What I'm looking for are "so utterly awful it's unwatchable" recommendations.  Even if you have a give a gigantic list, just dump it right here. 
I haven't seen it yet ((un)?fortunatly), but I've heard that Night of horror is BAD.
Really bad.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0202496/

Saucerman

WEASELS RIP MY FLESH.  It is the only film that's made me say, "Now this is just unwatchable" and turn the TV off. 

The Protagonist

I would agree with Death Tunnel, which was absolutely dreadful, aside from the breasts of course.

Just the fact that the tunnel wasn't even mentioned for about 95 minutes cracked me up.


Psycho Circus

Catacombs (1988)

One of the most boring I've ever seen. Some scientist chick wants to go into the catacombs under an old monastery to investigate something. After well over an hour, she goes down with some dude, finds a 400 year old demon chained to a wall, shines some light on it, roll credits....  :bluesad:

The Burgomaster

Quote from: Skull on March 25, 2009, 11:43:28 AM
Quote from: The Burgomaster on March 25, 2009, 07:50:54 AM
CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.  I have it on a double feature DVD from Something Weird (the other movie on the DVD, CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, is also bad, but at least Burt Young is in it -- I believe he uses a different name in the credits).  I also have CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN in a Mill Creek 50 Movie Pack!

Which mill creek 50 pack???

I have 2 mill creek 50 packs and no Curse of the Headless Horseman... :(


I'm not 100% sure . . . I have most of the Mill Creek 50 Packs, and it's in there somewhere!  I never watched the Mill Creek version because I already saw the Something Weird version.

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

akiratubo

Teknolust
The Jar
Headless Eyes
Kneel before Dr. Hell, the ruler of this world!

Doggett

                                             

If God exists, why did he make me an atheist? Thats His first mistake.

Skull

Quote from: The Burgomaster on March 25, 2009, 03:43:18 PM
Quote from: Skull on March 25, 2009, 11:43:28 AM
Quote from: The Burgomaster on March 25, 2009, 07:50:54 AM
CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN.  I have it on a double feature DVD from Something Weird (the other movie on the DVD, CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, is also bad, but at least Burt Young is in it -- I believe he uses a different name in the credits).  I also have CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN in a Mill Creek 50 Movie Pack!

Which mill creek 50 pack???

I have 2 mill creek 50 packs and no Curse of the Headless Horseman... :(


I'm not 100% sure . . . I have most of the Mill Creek 50 Packs, and it's in there somewhere!  I never watched the Mill Creek version because I already saw the Something Weird version.



I might of seen the same DVD (did seen it from Netflix?)


I own "The Chilling" which is well worth the 25 dollars... and "Drive in Movie"