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Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...

Started by Doggett, June 14, 2009, 01:56:40 PM

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Flangepart

#1680
June 12, 2014, 08:30:00 AM
The popcorn. You don't know where those vegetable sphincters have been!

If Godzilla where a painter, which style would his painting be classified under?
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Derf

#1681
June 12, 2014, 01:10:27 PM
Probably the Jackson Pollock splatter painting school. In human BLOOD!!!



Who said you could have that cookie?
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

Flangepart

#1682
June 13, 2014, 08:25:33 AM
I DID! Don't like it, talk to my ROBOT MONSTER!


When did the cats develop a taste for beer?
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Derf

#1683
June 14, 2014, 07:46:01 AM
Right after they ate the firehouse chili.



What sicko put the creme in the crematorium?
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

Flangepart

#1684
June 16, 2014, 08:19:25 AM
Same guy put the Sanka in the sarcophagus.

When is coffee grounds for divorce?
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Rev. Powell

#1685
June 16, 2014, 08:45:07 AM
When she secretly switches your fresh-brewed coffee for Folger's crystals---decaffeinated.

Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Flangepart

#1686
June 18, 2014, 08:45:33 AM
Because Stephen Lynch wanted it that way.

Why did the marmoset get his toenails stuck the blender?
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Derf

#1687
June 18, 2014, 09:15:43 AM
Because the lady doing his pedicure was trying to save a few minutes because the marmoset kept hitting on her because he wanted to get marmo-laid.



Has there ever been a stupider joke than the one I just made?
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

Flangepart

#1688
June 19, 2014, 08:18:42 AM Last Edit: June 19, 2014, 12:42:14 PM by Flangepart
Yes, but it escaped my mind like the wind, and I'm glad I can't remember it, either.


Could I be more confused?
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Leah

#1689
June 19, 2014, 06:31:32 PM
Only if you try to figure out stuff


Who is on First?
yeah no.

Derf

#1690
June 20, 2014, 04:45:56 AM
No, he is on the injured reserve list. Tonight we have John "Buzzkill" Smith on first, who is quoted as saying, "Now let's see them tell that blasted joke."



"Buzzkill" is a cool nickname. What's yours?
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

Flangepart

#1691
June 20, 2014, 12:59:23 PM
Durfbury. Nothin' personal, it's just business.

Can you BELIEVE the nerve of that guy?
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"

Derf

#1692
June 22, 2014, 07:25:35 AM
I can't stop believing because I fear the tiny wrath of Steve Perry.



How many licks does it take to get to the Tòotsie Roll center of a solid steel I-beam?
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

Chainsawmidget

#1693
June 22, 2014, 01:42:29 PM
Quote from: Derf on June 22, 2014, 07:25:35 AM
I can't stop believing because I fear the tiny wrath of Steve Perry.



How many licks does it take to get to the Tòotsie Roll center of a solid steel I-beam?
Three.  Assuming your tongue secretes acid in place of saliva. 

What am I doing with my life?

Flangepart

#1694
June 24, 2014, 07:59:50 AM
Obvious answer: Wasting it here. Not so obvious: Using chickens as part of your plan to take over the world.



When King Kong hit the pavement, about how many New Yorkers did he squish?
"Aggressivlly eccentric, and proud of it!"
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