El Misfit
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B-Movie Kraken
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« on: July 24, 2009, 12:51:12 PM » |
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The Creature From The Haunted Sea- 4 slime unrated Copyright Roger Corman Productions reviewed by Bull
The Characters Sparks Moran- He's our US spy, the protagonist of the movie Renzo Capetto- The main bad guy, has a love for gold. Eaten by the Creature Mary-Bella Monahan- Renzo's love interest, also eaten by the Creature. Happy Jack and Pete Peterson- Renzo's henchmen, Pete lets his "girlfriend" swim to shore, Jack can never get a girl. Pete gets eaten and Jack gets a very special hug from the Creature. The Creature- Our antihero, gets the gold. The Cubans- Well, they are Cubans, most are soldiers, one General Tostada and Colonel Grande. Some are eaten by the Creature, ours are killed mercifully by Renzo's henchmen.
Things I learned from this movie A spy's wage is $41.50/month. Never blame a death on an Urban legend monster. Monsters love gold. A plunger can kill someone. Aquatic monsters can walk on land. crashing your boat into rocks will make the engine die.
Notable Quotes "It's okay everybody, the boat's insured"-Renzo
"Mary-Bella hates me."-Sparks "I know, but I love you."-Carmelita "It's kinda nice having someone love you."-Sparks "When did you try to love me? You might like it."-Carmelita "I guess I can try."-Sparks
"It was getting dusk, I can tell by the way the sun was going down."-Sparks (as the narrator)
Stuff to watch for 41 min.- MANGO, DELICIOUS 58 min.-Does the Creature have a growths spurge? The Plot This plot is somewhat easy to follow. After the Cuban Revolution, the general and colonel takes some soldiers with them and gold to a location that is never really explained. Well, after meeting with Renzo, the Cubans luck goes downward, as Renzo wants his gold. Renzo gets Happy Jack and Pete to kill one of the general's men and blame it on an urban legend monster. Unfortunately, the monster is real. How the monster got the news on the gold isn't explained clearly. Meanwhile, our hero tries to get hooked up with Mary-Bella, only to get slapped, pushed of the boat, and get let down by her. Back to Renzo, he "accidentally" crashes his boat in some rocks and tells the general that this is where they should hide The general's gold. Well after the general finds his gold, Renzo and his guys kill him. While Renzo and Pete swim up to the boat, Jack finds a scrap of his less than 3 hours girlfriend's bottom, he sees the monster, who gives him a big hug! Back on the boat, Mary-Bella is fussing at Renzo, but gives him one more chance. As the two kiss, the monster appears and takes Mary-Bella while the others witness the Creature. Sparks and his new girlfriend get in a boat and swim to shore. Pete sacrifices his life to save his girlfriend, Renzo goes away to shore, rest by a tree, as the monster comes out of the water and faces him before the scene goes black. As the final scene comes up, Sparks gets married to his fiance and you see the monster protecting HIS gold!
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