DOUBLE AGENT 73 (1974)

The Burgomaster · August 08, 2009, 06:14:09 PM

Here's a really bad . . . but very fun . . . Chesty Morgan movie.

Chesty stars as Jane, a secret agent who has a camera surgically implanted in her left breast. Whenever she wants to take a picture, she lifts up her breast and we hear a shutter clicking and see a flash of light.

Jane's mission is to search for a heroin kingpin. Her boss gives her the names of various people to investigate and eliminate. Every time she kills one of them, she crosses out the person's name in her notebook.

Since this is a Doris Wishman film, it consists of heavy doses of the following:

* Terrible dialogue (most or all of which appears to have been dubbed after the movie was shot . . . I'm sure that's not even Chesty's real voice).

* Awful film editing.

* Unnecessary shots of flowers, various inanimate objects, and peoples feet as they walk around.

* Extremely tacky clothing (but, hey, this was made in the 1970s).

* Equally tacky wallpaper, curtains, and decorations inside houses and offices throughout the movie.

The movie basically consists of scene after scene of Chesty encountering one of the people on her hit list, killing or maiming them, taking a photo or two with her breast camera, crossing off the victim's name in her notebook, and going off to find the next person.

It is mercifully short (72 minutes) and no one except a bad movie fan could possibly get any enjoyment out of it.

If you're a Chesty Morgan fan, check out the equally bad DEADLY WEAPONS. I believe I posted some comments about it in this forum several months ago.

RCMerchant · August 09, 2009, 06:42:59 AM

I would marry Chesty Morgan and be her slave.

zombie no.one · August 11, 2009, 03:10:59 PM

not that I've spent much time examining the obvious merits of Chesty Morgan (yes, of course I have) but she appears to have no nipples? bizzarre

re: Double Agent 73, I kind of do and also don't want to watch this movie, edging towards don't...

The Burgomaster · August 11, 2009, 03:37:29 PM

Quote from: DCA on August 11, 2009, 03:10:59 PM
not that I've spent much time examining the obvious merits of Chesty Morgan (yes, of course I have) but she appears to have no nipples? bizzarre

She has nipples . . . the just sag way down . . .

Paquita · August 11, 2009, 04:37:27 PM

Quote from: DCA on August 11, 2009, 03:10:59 PM
re: Double Agent 73, I kind of do and also don't want to watch this movie, edging towards don't...

I kind of feel the same way only I'm edging towards DO

Andrew · August 12, 2009, 05:36:07 AM

Chesty Morgan's moo-moos are so large that they are actually gruesome. This movie taught me that a woman could have varicose veins in her breast (and that breasts could be unappealing).

Javakoala · August 12, 2009, 05:52:10 AM

moo-moos.....

RCMerchant · August 12, 2009, 06:05:01 AM

I'd still be a slave to her "moo-moos"!

Umaril The Unfeathered · August 18, 2009, 06:19:03 PM

I have the first movie, "Deadly Weapons" and believe you me, she has nipples for sure. Damned if she wasn't standing in line for seconds and thirds when she was being made...how a woman could ever get THAT big is beyond me. Now there was a woman who could take a shower without getting her feet wet..(to quote Benny Hill)

Jim H · August 19, 2009, 01:08:27 AM

Quote from: Umaril The Unfeathered on August 18, 2009, 06:19:03 PM
I have the first movie, "Deadly Weapons" and believe you me, she has nipples for sure. Damned if she wasn't standing in line for seconds and thirds when she was being made...how a woman could ever get THAT big is beyond me. Now there was a woman who could take a shower without getting her feet wet..(to quote Benny Hill)

There's a condition that causes breasts to grow abnormally large.. I can't remember the name though. Fuko probably has it too.

The Burgomaster · August 19, 2009, 06:07:30 AM

I bought this DVD as part of a boxed set called "The Bare Box" released by "Something Weird." The set also contains BLAZE STARR GOES NUDIST, DIARY OF A NUDIST, THE NAKED VENUS, and DEADLY WEAPONS. Nothing but quality entertainment in my house!

Umaril The Unfeathered · August 19, 2009, 07:11:35 AM

Quote from: Jim H on August 19, 2009, 01:08:27 AM
Quote from: Umaril The Unfeathered on August 18, 2009, 06:19:03 PM
I have the first movie, "Deadly Weapons" and believe you me, she has nipples for sure. Damned if she wasn't standing in line for seconds and thirds when she was being made...how a woman could ever get THAT big is beyond me. Now there was a woman who could take a shower without getting her feet wet..(to quote Benny Hill)

There's a condition that causes breasts to grow abnormally large.. I can't remember the name though. Fuko probably has it too.

Back muscles, beware!

Rev. Powell · August 23, 2009, 03:19:35 PM

Quote from: Jim H on August 19, 2009, 01:08:27 AM
Quote from: Umaril The Unfeathered on August 18, 2009, 06:19:03 PM
I have the first movie, "Deadly Weapons" and believe you me, she has nipples for sure. Damned if she wasn't standing in line for seconds and thirds when she was being made...how a woman could ever get THAT big is beyond me. Now there was a woman who could take a shower without getting her feet wet..(to quote Benny Hill)

There's a condition that causes breasts to grow abnormally large.. I can't remember the name though. Fuko probably has it too.

I believe the condition is called "good luck."

Saucerman · August 23, 2009, 04:13:34 PM

I wanna say the condition is called Gigantomastasia -- and technically refers to breasts weighing ten pounds each or more.

Chesty's Moo-moos fall within what I consider to be tasteful bounds, but there are some cases of Gigantomastasia where breast reduction surgery removes over 50 lbs of tissue. That I find frightening.

And I totally want to see this.

zombie no.one · August 24, 2009, 01:17:46 AM

Quote from: Saucerman on August 23, 2009, 04:13:34 PM

Chesty's Moo-moos fall within what I consider to be tasteful bounds

you have very tasteful bounds

DOUBLE AGENT 73 (1974)

Javakoala