The Santacist

[hellbilly]

Who is going to surprise who?

[retrorussell]

Ho-Ho-HooooooooLY SH** WRONG HOUSE SORRY BYE-BYE!!!!

[Psycho Circus]

What Beatrice didn't know, was that Santa craps in a box when leaving presents for hideous goblin children...

[Leah]

no, i F**k you little girl. you've NAUGHTY!

[AndyC]

OK, I keep having this weird dream where Santa Claus is trying to sneak past Tina Yothers, Only she's a mutant and looks like she's just gone ten rounds with a crowbar. And it's weird because it's dark outside, but Tina's not casting any reflection on the window. Santa warns me not to make a sound, but then Tina looks straight at me and I scream. Santa yells "Now you've done it, moron!" and then Tina smashes through the window and devours Santa and I wake up in a pool of sweat. What do you suppose it means?

[Mr. DS]

Santa: "Oh my god...gonna barf...bllleeechmmmmppphhhh...."

[Leah]

Santa:"What, no eggnog, milk or cookies?
girl:"I want you to be on a di-"
then santa cuts her throat. the end