THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

bob · March 19, 2011, 07:20:19 PM

the sun is blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches - Final Justice

AndyC · March 19, 2011, 10:53:51 PM

Red Zone Cuba, during John Carradine's singing of Night Train to Mundo Fine:

Mike: Oh, to be blessed with an instrument like that.

Mike (as Carradine): Ho now, I'm rocking!

Servo (as Carradine): Get down now, boogie man! Play that funky music!

Mike (singing along): Drink Night Train, go to the basketball game. Throw up under the bleachers....

WildHoosier09 · March 22, 2011, 07:09:24 PM

My favorite is one where they are skewering an old 50's "how to behave" movie. Here they show a good 1950's family (father, mother, kid boy, teenage girl) sitting down for dinner in the showthe narrator says "Before dinner is not the time to reveal shocking news and keep conversation pleasent and light as shocking news at this time is bad for digestion." Crow replies *as the girl* "Daddy I'm dating a negro boy at school". I love this one as well as their treatment of "Your Hired 2" and other 1950's instructional movies.

I would pick something from Mitchell but almost all the good lines from this one are already here. It is by far the most classic of classic MST3K.

66Crush · March 24, 2011, 09:44:39 AM

"Hired 2" is hillarious. One of the best shorts. I also loved the one about the stupid teen couple getting married. The marriage expert kept talking about the "Ka-Boing.'

bob · March 24, 2011, 10:39:49 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iqLhdInGrk

AndyC · March 24, 2011, 11:03:43 AM

Quote from: 66Crush on March 24, 2011, 09:44:39 AM
"Hired 2" is hillarious. One of the best shorts. I also loved the one about the stupid teen couple getting married. The marriage expert kept talking about the "Ka-Boing.'

Joel: OK, we're going to have teamwork the way my old man told me! You, put a handkerchief on your head! You, swat at imaginary elves!

Rev. Powell · March 26, 2011, 03:22:47 PM

General Hospital Short

TOM: Jeez, it's the dark nurse of the soul!
CROW: Here comes Nurseferatu!

MANHUNT IN SPACE

[Commenting on a the appearance of a planet seen on a viewscreen]
TOM: Look, its the MST3K logo!
JOEL: Shh, you're not supposed to know about that.
TOM: Oh... [whistles]

Stranded space pilot: "It's like a million to one shot we'll ever be seen."
CROW: Oh, they're on Comedy Central.

AndyC · March 26, 2011, 08:33:13 PM

More Final Sacrifice:

Rowsdower: It's a cult.
Troy: How do you know?
Rowsdower: I've been around, kid.
Crow: And I've been a square kid.

Rev. Powell · April 09, 2011, 12:48:36 PM

TORMENTED

CROW: Of all the lighthouses in the world, she had to fall off mine.

[Tom Stewart sits at the piano to practice]

TOM (singing): I'm gonna kill me a girlfriend, and marry the girl I need,
Gonna kill me a girlfriend, she'll turn into seaweed.
It's the blues she'll be singing, 'cause of my dirty deed.

[Blind woman reaches top of lighthouse]

CROW: Hey, I can't see my house from here!

AndyC · April 09, 2011, 01:51:02 PM

The Castle of Fu Manchu - Servo sings the theme.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi-cCCys6Z4

Rev. Powell · April 16, 2011, 12:37:59 PM

THE BEATNIKS

[Eddie is crooning]
CROW: Boy, beatnik music is really square.

Eddie (singing): Love wears a mask...
TOM (singing along): A tight leather mask...

[Mooney stabs Mr. Bayliss]
JOEL: Isn't that interesting, he took 10% out of the agent.

[Mooney shoots Iris]
JOEL: They shoot horse-faces, don't they?

Siren · April 19, 2011, 09:32:09 PM

Wish they would do Frozen, Paranormal Activity was hilarious

AndyC · April 20, 2011, 08:58:51 PM

Not a riff, but something you might find amusing. I made up a sample baseball uniform to show customers, and photographed it for a newspaper ad I ran. Didn't want to use my own name, or the name of anybody I knew, so....

Trevor · April 21, 2011, 04:30:12 AM

Quote from: AndyC on April 20, 2011, 08:58:51 PM
Not a riff, but something you might find amusing. I made up a sample baseball uniform to show customers, and photographed it for a newspaper ad I ran. Didn't want to use my own name, or the name of anybody I knew, so....

I would pay good money to wear that shirt.

My contribution:

Tom Servo: Say, what have you been doing since the movie, Glen?
Glen the amazing collosal man: Uh, you know, bit-parts. Mr. Clean, Green Giant... that kinda thing. Excuse me for a second. [picks up a cow and eats it] < < < < < < < <

Rev. Powell · April 23, 2011, 02:09:21 PM

A Day at the Fair (short)

CROW: "Jiminy, thinks Johnny, if only I could get a ride in one of those!

MONSTER A-GO GO

TOM: Douglas was pear-shaped, very short, and stood the whole way.

Narrator: There is one terrifying word in the world of nuclear physics.
TOM: Ooops.

TOM: This was only a test. Had this been an actual movie, you'd have been entertained.