THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[paula]

deja vu!

..........should i even post??

smoke manmuscle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

[Chainsawmidget]

Another favorite from Hired.

"We're going to have leadership the way my old man taught me.  You ,put a towel on you head.  You, swat at imaginary elves."

[Jaer]

Pod People is still one of my favorites ever:

When Trumpy is looking at all the animals: "Mmmm, this potatoe's got long ears"

and all the times the parents are looking for the kid

"Tommy?"
"Do you see me?  Do you feel me near you?"
"Tommy!?!"
"Go to the mirror, boy!"

[retrorussell]

Here's the story Trevor:

On some sort of space station a super-strong alien is hired by a space captain to work at a warehouse of some fashion; a jealous co-worker rigs a forklift to drive at him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juvKrcMWXKc&feature=player_embedded

[retrorussell]

Pod People is still one of my favorites ever:

When Trumpy is looking at all the animals: "Mmmm, this potatoe's got long ears"

and all the times the parents are looking for the kid

"Tommy?"
"Do you see me?  Do you feel me near you?"
"Tommy!?!"
"Go to the mirror, boy!"

I rolled over laughing when Tommy is looking for Trumpy and pokes his head in the closet.  The MST3Kers all make sucking noises, like Trumpy's eating him.

[retrorussell]

Another favorite from Hired.

"We're going to have leadership the way my old man taught me.  You ,put a towel on you head.  You, swat at imaginary elves."

Also:
Car lot manager (to father): Say, I just thought of something!
Servo: I'm sobering up and you're beginning to scare me!

(After a scene change in which a new scene is superimposed over the old one, with a new driver at the wheel)
Joel: Zintar gets the most sales because he's a shapeshifter!

[Leah]

from Monster a-go go
Joel: <snickers> all right, don't laugh, here they come, be cool
Crow<snickering> don't say it
Tom it wasn't our idea

Narrator: There is one terrifying word in nuclear physics...
Trio: Opps
Narrator: Radiation
trio: ohh

Here was a problem the civil defense authorities had before faced and may never face again...
Crow: how to end this film

[Leah]

from Monster a-go go
Joel: <snickers> all right, don't laugh, here they come, be cool
Crow<snickering> don't say it
Tom it wasn't our idea

Narrator: There is one terrifying word in nuclear physics...
Trio: Opps
Narrator: Radiation
trio: ohh

Here was a problem the civil defense authorities had before faced and may never face again...
Crow: how to end this film

Whoops, forgot to add the clip 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKs_UqLcnwA

[InformationGeek]

From Space Mutiny

(during the first chase scene)
Mike: You can walk on your hands and catch up to the guy!
Crow: Put your helmet on, we'll be reaching speeds of three!
Tom: Hit the siren! (imitates a calliope)
Crow: We need both horsepowers on this thing!

Tom: Seems to me that randomly blowing up things is not a good strategy in a spaceship.


From Mr. B Natural:

Mr. B: I've been visiting with an 8 year old friend of mine..."
Joel: Oh God no!

Mr. B: Boy, am I glad to see you!
Crow: Well, the feeling's not mutual!

Mr. B: Knew your father I did!
Joel: You leave my father out of this!

[Chainsawmidget]

I remember one short they did on balance and posture that had the "knee test" where a man was putting his hands on his knees and rotating.  That whole bit was just solid gold. 

[retrorussell]

I remember one short they did on balance and posture that had the "knee test" where a man was putting his hands on his knees and rotating.  That whole bit was just solid gold. 

Yeah, that was pretty ridiculous.

More Pod People:
(Tommy feeds Trumpy peanuts and he sucks them into his snout)
Joel: Here, let me get the attachments.  You can do the couch!

(Evil Pod Person kills girl in shower by throwing her against door)
Rick: Open the door!
Crow: But not with your skull!

CREEPING TERROR:
(A highly obese man walks up a hill to find his grandson)
Crow: Here comes the most challenging scene in this film!

(Army pushes a tree branch out of the way of their jeep)
Mike: We push more logs before 9AM than most people do all day!

(A community dance takes place set to cheesy sock-hop music)
Mike: I can see why the British Invasion was so easy!

(Monster "eats" a victim)
Mike: If you could help me by climbing in..

[BTM]

There's so many good ones, I don't know if I could print them all... I'll start with ones I particularly loved...

Cave Dwellers

(Ator and a village chief have just done a toast and Ator is drinking.)
Crow: Yeah, drink it all, sometimes the poison sinks to the bottom.

(Ator and crew have just fought off several invisible attackers by wrapping them in their cloaks and then killing them.  They then walk away, leaving their outfits behind.)
Joel: Aren't they going to pick up their clothes?
Crow: No, they've got invisible blood all over them.
Joel and Tom: Oh... HUH?!?

(After a loooong series of flashbacks, with various names dropped)
Crow: JEEZ!  Tolkien couldn't follow this plot!

Female: What is it?
Wise Old Man: It is everything and nothing.
Crow: Uh, could you be a little more vague please?

Space Mutiny

Mike: And our hero bravely roasts the disabled man!

Tom: You know, Mike, I've learned a valuable lesson here: never sit inside an open gas main.
Mike: Yeah, I know, we really should stop having our lunches there.

[Leah]

From the Monster a go go short, CIRCUS ON ICE!

Tom: These two girls make quite a pair,
they both come your worst nightmare
they will haunt your soul forever
and now, when you see pink, your going to think "We're Doomed"
they are agents for Satan.

Mike: Hey, you got your circus on my ice
crow:you got your ice on my circus

[retrorussell]

WHY STUDY INDUSTRIAL ARTS:
Crow: Because you're bad at math?

Joe, student: You know, it's fun to have an idea.
Mike: There!  Wasn't that fun?

SKYDIVERS:

(actress' wig moves slightly while talking)
Crow: Her helmet shifted!
Mike: She didn't fasten her chinstrap!

Bernie (talking about skydiving): Feels good.. like a bird, floating around up there!
Mike: Poopin' on people..

[BTM]

Dunno what episode
MIKE: Wouldn't it be great if you were kidnapped by an African tribe and they brought beer?

MST3K The Movie
(Hal's plane abruptly starts to glow green)
TOM: Suddenly I have a refreshing, minty flavor!

Exeter: Now place your hands above the rail
(hands suddenly attach to the rail)
Exeter: ... they're magnetized.
Crow T. Robot: And if your hands were metal, that would mean something.

Mike Nelson: [as a Postman delivers a letter] Sort this, deliver that, I'll make 'em all pay.