THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[Rev. Powell]

TIME CHASERS (sorry if any repeats)

[The male lead appears onscreen for the first time]
CROW: No, no, this can't be the star, can it movie? Movie, hey movie! Can I see your supervisor, movie? This will not stand!

[Female lead appears onscreen for the first time]
TOM: Two different plaids? Man, I'm a naked robot and even I know that's a fashion no-no.

[Nick is describing the practical applications of time travel]
NICK: ...you could study the long term effects of we're having on our environment. We could...
MIKE: Send Bob Saget to meet Charlemagne.

[The leads are making out while flying a plane.  The woman stops and leans over to look at something.]
LISA Nick, what is that?
CROW: That means I like you.

(My 10 year old nephew actually got that joke... I'm not sure whether to be proud of him or not!)

[WingedSerpent]

[The male lead appears onscreen for the first time]
CROW: No, no, this can't be the star, can it movie? Movie, hey movie! Can I see your supervisor, movie? This will not stand!

I've actually used that line when goofing on movies with some friends.

[Raffine]

REVENGE OF THE CREATURE

(The creature snatched an egret off a log)
CROW: Egrets. I've had a few.

[ChaosTheory]

From GIANT SPIDER INVASION
Mike <singing> "I injected a paralyzing toxin into the sheriff, but I did not inject a paralyzing toxin into the deputy"

From SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL
Servo <referring to pilot> "My face is large and troublesome!"
Mike <kidnappers bring pilot's wife to the window, force her to look out> "Take a long hard look at what you married!"

From GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS
"I'm an icky elf!"

And, can't believe this thread went 8 pages without bringing up COILY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2Hym_r409g

[Rev. Powell]

OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK (sorry if any repeats)

APPOLONIA: Fingal was my first compulsory doppel.
MIKE: I didn't want to bungle or bobble the Fingal doppel.

FINGAL: What kind of doppel can I afford for 47 credits?
BYSTANDER: 47 credits?  You'll be lucky to get an anteater!
CROW: Whoa! Huge slam on anteaters out of nowhere!

MIKE: You know, I bet nobody ever scrolls up this cinema.

[Responding to another cheap special effect]
TOM: This movie just keeps chucking rectangles at you!

APPOLONIA: Electrons don't dance, Fingal.  They don't make love.
CROW: They're Lutherans.

[retrorussell]

APPOLONIA: Electrons don't dance, Fingal.  They don't make love.
CROW: They're Lutherans.

[InformationGeek]

No Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders?  Allow me to fix that!

Tom: [As Merlin] Yes it's my mission to release evil and gradually recover it, following the deaths of many innocent people.

Crow: [As Merlin] Remember to believe in magic... or I'll kill you...

Crow: [As the little boy] So evil wins, Grandpa Borgnine ?
[As grandpa] That's right even your tiny soul is doomed, Billy.

[AndyC]

No Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders?  Allow me to fix that!

Tom: [As Merlin] Yes it's my mission to release evil and gradually recover it, following the deaths of many innocent people.

Crow: [As Merlin] Remember to believe in magic... or I'll kill you...

Crow: [As the little boy] So evil wins, Grandpa Borgnine ?
[As grandpa] That's right even your tiny soul is doomed, Billy.

I love that one.


From The Girl in Gold Boots, when a break in the film causes a character to seemingly appear out of nowhere while the other characters continue their conversation:

Servo: "I'm back!"

Mike: "Anybody notice I'm here now?"

Crow: "Come on! I just teleported here! It's impressive!"

[Flangepart]

Godzilla Vs. Megalon!

"It's the all idiot channel!"

"I hate these stairs. I'm a robot and I hate these stairs..."

"You reccon? Hey, you're Japanese, 'eb-san'

""It's Oscar Wilde!"

"Ah,right, its time fah da headlinah!"

"I'll be off crushin' your house..."

" "Things have really picked up since Twyla Tharp joined the clan."

And of course...(Singing) HE JOCK IT, MADE OF STEEL-EAT SUSHI FROM A PAAAAIL!..."

[Trevor]

From Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie:

Exeter: [a MutAnt blocks their path to escape] He appears badly hurt - stay close to me.
Tom Servo: *Ahem* "Guten Tag! Zigaretten? Wir wollen ein Auto mieten!"

[AndyC]

I can't remember if we've had their classic take on the Gamera theme, from Gamera vs. Guiron.

"Gameraaa! Gameraaaa!
Gamera is really neat!
He is filled with turtle meat!
We've been eating Gameraaaaa!"

[Rev. Powell]

I can't remember if we've had their classic take on the Gamera theme, from Gamera vs. Guiron.

"Gameraaa! Gameraaaa!
Gamera is really neat!
He is filled with turtle meat!
We've been eating Gameraaaaa!"

I showed that clip to my 10 year old nephew and he immediately memorized it and sings it all the time.  For my birthday, he even incorporated my name into the lyrics on the card he gave me.  

THE PHANTOM PLANET

[commenting on the strange spacey music]
TOM: Is someone rubbing a cat against a zither?

[The hero's life is flashing before his eyes]
CROW: Frank, you'll have to take third grade again... gain... gain...
MIKE: Mr. Chapman, this is Western Financial Collections. Do you value your credit rating... rating... rating...
CROW: I'm afraid you're just not 7-11 timber, Frank... Frank... Frank...
TOM: You're the worst party clown we've ever had... had... had...

[commenting on the movements of the toy spaceships]
MIKE: Wow, no one told me about the black ice here in space.

[You had to see it...]
CROW: Their bed technology is light years behind their spacegoing chicken technology.

[InformationGeek]

From Devil Fish:

Villian: [In library pointing gun at a person] Hold it!
Mike: You have overdue library books!

[Strange Music playing during discovery of a dead body]
Crow: Is the softcore porn music really apporiate for this scene?

Mike: [As the alcoholic Bob is pulled underwater by the Devil Fish] Say goodbye to beer for me!

Crow: [After villian is shot] Predried, immeditate red blood.

Villian: [Dying] You'll never stop it!
Mike: Ugh, even in death, he'll never shut up!

[JPickettIII]

..........should i even post??

smoke manmuscle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY

I will have to find the clip.  It is for Space Mutiny.

Not sure who said it,

"Reaching Speeds of five miles per hour"

HAHAHAHAHAH

Later,

John

[Trevor]

More Mitchell:

[Martin Balsam gets up to leave]"I'm not bringing that shipment in and that is final."
Tom: "BLLLLPPPPPPPPPP.....the shipment's in!"