THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[Trevor]

The Final Sacrifice (sorry, Russell  )

[Shane Marceau's credit appears onscreen]
Comment from the guys: "Shane, go away, Shane!"

[Rev. Powell]

WEREWOLF:

CROW: Oh yes, the Sonata in A Minor for Cello and Werewolf.

CROW: So, his plan is to rid the world of security guards by changing them into werewolves one by one and having them crash their cars?

[Commenting on the Eastern European leads]
MIKE: The Uzbekistani Tracy and Hepburn.

TOM: Oh, great, a random citizen who can kick a werewolf's ass. [Somebody had this one as their sig here.]

[InformationGeek]

From Cave Dwellers

Joel: [Ator and Co. are under attack from invisible enemies] Oh I don't believe it, they were too cheap to hire villains!

Joel: Wait, why is she limping?
Crow T. Robot: Uh, because she's got an arrow in her chest.
Joel: Oh I can see... huh?

Tom: [Regarding the hanglider] Okay, so, you killed a deer, stretched the hide, made an airlite aluminum frame, and mastered areodynamics?

[Jack]

One that made me laugh out loud from Time Chasers - the main character is climbing a tree, and one of the guys says "He's looking for honey, like Pooh".

[ChaosTheory]

One that made me laugh out loud from Time Chasers - the main character is climbing a tree, and one of the guys says "He's looking for honey, like Pooh".

Mike: "He's like poo, all right."   

[AndyC]

More Time Chasers:

Lisa: What's the use of a time machine for GenCorp?
Nick: I'll give you an example.
Crow: You could send an egg into the future!
Nick: We could study the long-term effects we're having on our environment. We could, uh...
Mike: Send Bob Saget to meet Charlemagne.

[InformationGeek]

From Warrior of the Lost World

During the desert brawl
Crow - "There's about eight different movies being shot here!"
Tom Servo - "Ninjas, please report to the Master Ninja set, grunge girls you're needed on the Mad Max set, what are you people from The Philadelphia Story doing here!?!"

As Rider rides off at the end:
Crow: Who were you?!

[Leah]

from The Dead talk back:
Mike: The selling revolution will not be televised!

[AndyC]

More Warrior of the lost World:

The whole running gag around Professor McWayne's resemblance to Jimmy Carter. "Have some malaise, suckas!"

[Raffine]

Mike and the 'bots as various cast members humming or singing Albert Glasser's uber-bombastic theme in THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

[AndyC]

One of the funniest parts of Warrior of the Lost World. Servo names everybody as the camera pans across a crowd.

"Hey, look! Robbie Benson, Jack Burns, Andrea Martin, Dennis Hopper, Jodie Huson, Garry Shandling, Paul Reiser, Peter Cook, Junior Samples, Elaine Boosler, Adam Sandler, Barry Sobel! And there's Garth Brooks, Bruce Miller, Les Paul, Patrick Swayze as Gandhi, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Robert Carradine, Bruno Kirby, Griffin Dunne, Mike Nichols, Ron Reagan! Demi Moore, Gabriel Byrne, Gallagher, Robert Loggia, Janis Joplin, and Jonathan Schwarz! Oh ho! There's Lyle Waggoner, Tom Dreisden, Steve Rubell, Alan Alda, Michael Ironside, kd lang, Kate Clinton, Lee Van Cleef, Marlee Matlin, David Byrne, Linda Hunt, Leslie West, Sandy Duncan, Craig T Nelson, David Letterman, Tony Danza, Anthony Quinn, Edie Brickell, and Tony Bill! Cool! And Roland Gibb, Tracy Kozinski, and Rene Auberjonois! John Hurt, Cicely Tyson, Michael Perry! Persis Khambatta! And ... I can't place him. Paper Chase guy?"

[Rev. Powell]

No HOBGOBLINS yet??

MIKE (singing): It's the 80s, lets do coke and vote for Ronald Reagan!

WIMPY KID: I wish Amy could be here to see what I did!
MIKE: I shot a starter pistol and whined out another line!

[During hobgoblin attack scene]
GIRLS scream.
CROW: Someone's rubbing puppets on us!

TOM: Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?

SECURITY GUARD: There's been an accident at the studio.
CROW: We made HOBGOBLINS.

[ChaosTheory]

(apologies if it was mentioned before)
from REVENGE OF THE CREATURE:
Mike, seeing (a very young) Clint Eastwood's bit part:  "This guy's no good, this is his first and LAST movie!"

from the DESIGN FOR DREAMING short:

Tom, as Girl is dancing behind Mask Guy, "Oh god, she's right behind me!  Act casual...."

(cake comes out of Futuristic Kitchen oven, frosted and with candles) Mike: "Uh-uh. I call no way."

Girl dances, Trio: "GIVE US CYD CHARISSE!"
Tom: "Yeah, while she's doing this, Japan is making great cars."

Mike: "Conspicuous consumption makes our love stronger!"

[retrorussell]

Skydivers:

(Beth's pants are a bit on the poofy side)
Tom: Wow.. she's got a pantload!

Suzy (To Frankie): What are you.. a chicken?
Mike (as Frankie, whiny): A chicken..?  Well, I don't have a comb or a gizzard.. but sometimes I ingest gravel in my beak to grind my food..

(Suzy and Frankie kiss awkwardly)
Crow: They're kissing like dolphins! (all) EEE!  EEE!!  EEE!!!

[InformationGeek]

Here's one from Pod People that no one mentioned!

Servo: Well, come on. Breakfast is gettin' cold, and she's not gettin' any warmer.


I'm surprised no one even brought The Blood Waters of Dr. Z yet!

Tom: I need to simplfy my masterbation ritual.

Dr. Leopold: I love you.
Tom: [As a fish] And I love you but not in that way.

Dr. Leopold: It's been a long twenty years.
Tom: Well, it's been a long twenty minutes.

Crow: Joe Don Baker and Basquiat just hanging out together.

Crow: [Refering to Rex] Oh good he's pulling the emergency stop for the movie.

Mike: Oh, I get it, he's trying to be Bela Lagosi and create his own rice of pipples!!