THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[AndyC]

Or Z'Dar in Soultaker.

Crow: He's a catcher's mitt with eyes.

[Trevor]

Not a riff but a line from The Final Sacrifice which I may have misheard because the IMDB has Rowsdower saying something else entirely:

Rowsdower [to Troy] "What's your name, whitey?" 

Whitey? The IMDB says "laddie" but I'm sure I heard "whitey".

[InformationGeek]

Okay, it's from their RiffTrax, but I couldn't resist putting a couple up from Transfomers 2: Revenge of the Fallen!

"Oh, good. Twin mechanical Jar-Jars."

"Important note for your STEALTH missions, create as many sparks as possible."

"General Motors would like to remind their former employees not to think of how much all this product placement cost."

"Michael Bay, all the racial sensitivity of a 1940's Disney animator."

[retrorussell]

Not a riff but a line from The Final Sacrifice which I may have misheard because the IMDB has Rowsdower saying something else entirely:

Rowsdower [to Troy] "What's your name, whitey?" 

Whitey? The IMDB says "laddie" but I'm sure I heard "whitey".

I remember that line, but I was pretty sure he said "laddie".  I may have to give it another listen.. it would indeed be strange for a white person to call another white person "whitey".  Although I have heard many a black person call another black person the n-word, which is just a stupid word to begin with..

[AndyC]

Not a riff but a line from The Final Sacrifice which I may have misheard because the IMDB has Rowsdower saying something else entirely:

Rowsdower [to Troy] "What's your name, whitey?" 

Whitey? The IMDB says "laddie" but I'm sure I heard "whitey".

I remember that line, but I was pretty sure he said "laddie".  I may have to give it another listen.. it would indeed be strange for a white person to call another white person "whitey".  Although I have heard many a black person call another black person the n-word, which is just a stupid word to begin with..

I'm pretty sure it was laddie. I watched that episode not too long ago, and I recall commenting on what an unnatural bit of dialogue it was, even for that movie. Otherwise, I thought Rowsdower was a pretty accurate representation of an unemployed Canadian dirtbag of that period.

One thing that surprised me with "The Final Sacrifice" is when they were riffing on Pipper, nobody picked up on any resemblance to Jim Henson. Between the shaggy beard and the voice, that sprang immediately to my mind.

[retrorussell]

I definitely thought of Rowlf from the Muppet Show by Pipper's voice.

[Rev. Powell]

BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z

[Title comes on]
TOM: Blood waters, eh? I guess Dr. Z has a little kidney problem.

[Dr. Z putters about and fiddles with various knobs on mechanical gizmos as he prepares to transform]
TOM: I need to simplify my masturbation ritual.

CROW: Next week on 'Invisible Cracker Mom'!

[Trevor]

I remember that line, but I was pretty sure he said "laddie".  I may have to give it another listen.. it would indeed be strange for a white person to call another white person "whitey".

I checked it out on Youtube and he did say "laddie". Thanks. 

[Trevor]

Otherwise, I thought Rowsdower was a pretty accurate representation of an unemployed Canadian dirtbag of that period.

[Trevor]

Puma Man:

Tom: "Oh, he's shoplifting a hip bone for his Grandma!"

[Indian guy holds out something] "Look, I'm a representative for Aztecnology."

[AndyC]

Cave Dwellers

(Miles O'Keefe credit appears)
Joel: How much Keefe is in this movie?

Narrator: ...his Asian friend, Thong.
Servo: Played here by Jimmy Carl Black of the Mothers of Invention.

Crow: Jeez, Tolkien couldn't follow this plot.

Ator: We'll take them back to the village, and I'll speak to their people.
Joel: The Village People?

(Ator cuts - or rather knocks - the head off a fake zombie with his sword)
Servo: Ooo, how graphic!

[retrorussell]

MITCHELL

(The title screen very slowly brings the word MITCHELL on the screen, making it hard to read)

Joel: Mittens?!
Servo: Joe Don Baker IS Mittens.
Crow: Martha Mitchell?
Servo: Joe Don Baker IS Martha Mitchell.

("wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka" 70's-style soundtrack is played during opening credits)
Servo: It was the third of September.. the day I'll always remember..

(burglar runs through Deeny's house)
Deeny: HEY!  YOU!
(burglar actually stops and turns around)
Joel: What?
(Deeny shoots him)
Joel: Oh.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Horror of Party Beach

Two drunk people stumble out of a bar slurring at each other. They each get into their respective cars and immediately crash into each other.

Riff:
"You got Chrysler on my Chevrolet!"
"You got Chevrolet on my Chrysler!"

[Rev. Powell]

BOGGY CREEK II: THE LEGEND CONTINUES

Narrator: It's from this tributary that the creature got its name.
MIKE: Its name is "tributary"?

Tanya: He ain't gonna make it if we don't get him to a doctor.
CROW: I'm an expert in undiscovered monkeys. 

Professor: I saw the little creature.
EVERYONE: Ewww!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Space Mutiny:

A lot of robots are shooting lasers at the protagonists and not hitting them.

Mike: They shouldn't have set their phasers to "miss."