THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[Trevor]

THE FINAL SACRIFICE:

[Troy is staring at the rising city]

Crow: "Somebody reboot the kid."

[Trevor]

THE FINAL SACRIFICE:

Tom: [Troy is doodling] "We're just watching someone fritter away their afternoon here."

[AndyC]

The Final Sacrifice:

(Pipper gets a horse for Rowsdower)
Crow: Had a hard time saddlin' up the missus today.
Mike: I made ya some trail mix outta rat droppings and hair.

[Trevor]

The Final Sacrifice:

(Pipper gets a horse for Rowsdower)
Crow: Had a hard time saddlin' up the missus today.
Mike: I made ya some trail mix outta rat droppings and hair. 

[Trevor]

THE FINAL SACRIFICE

Crow: "Stick with me Troy and I'll guide you in the ways of alcohol, cigarettes and meat."

[AndyC]

The Final Sacrifice:

Mike: Hey, how'd he get his pants clean?
Servo: Say what you want about the filthy, grizzled guy, he does a good load of laundry.

[Trevor]

The Final Sacrifice:

Mike: Hey, how'd he get his pants clean?
Servo: Say what you want about the filthy, grizzled guy, he does a good load of laundry.

[Trevor]

THE FINAL SACRIFICE:

[Mike tells Crow and Tom that Gypsy will be shutting down the power soon]

"Hey, hey, hey: I know what you're thinking and no looting this time, you understand?" 

[AndyC]

The Horror of Party Beach:

Drunk: Hey...
Crow: Do farts have lumps?

[major jay]

DIABOLIK:

Diabolik: Isn't the 6th your birthday? What would you like me to give you?
Mike: Hmm... Something non-penis.

[Trevor]

Manos

Tom Servo: So... so I told Gary that I was going on this vacation so he goes "well then I'm going hunting with Jeff next weekend." well that's when we were at Knives and then Lou sang 'Fernando' and then Gary oh he sings so good oh you should meet Jeff some time do you like Barry Manilow songs I know the farmers need rain but when it's damp like this my hair just explodes just ex-PAH-LO-des ooh ooh feeling kinda gassy McNuggets you know they make me so gassy all that grease and all it really helps if you drink eight-ten glasses of water a day did you know that sometimes I drink five sometimes I drink nine just to make up for the other three I didn't drink coffee and diet drinks don't count either you know this is pretty country isn't it you know it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college you know I'm going to have to revise my twenty-year plan but did I tell you about my 20-year plan okay well okay listen here in year one this is the year when I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds you know that's equal to seven pounds of butter haha so it's like I'm wearing seven pounds of butter ha and well uh oh where was I oh oh yeah so my aunt and uncle here they did celebrate their twentieth anniversary and my uncle wanted to sing 'Sunset Sunrise' and he wanted *me* to sing it and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding and well she never thanked me for that... well she's really busy and all.

I was NOT going to type that lot out. No sir. 

[AndyC]

The end credits of Space Mutiny. Servo is hilarious, responding to the song lyrics, then singing along using bits of 80s tunes that all fit the music equally well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzYdUOmxnC4

[ChaosTheory]

Manos

Tom Servo: So... so I told Gary that I was going on this vacation so he goes "well then I'm going hunting with Jeff next weekend." well that's when we were at Knives and then Lou sang 'Fernando' and then Gary oh he sings so good oh you should meet Jeff some time do you like Barry Manilow songs I know the farmers need rain but when it's damp like this my hair just explodes just ex-PAH-LO-des ooh ooh feeling kinda gassy McNuggets you know they make me so gassy all that grease and all it really helps if you drink eight-ten glasses of water a day did you know that sometimes I drink five sometimes I drink nine just to make up for the other three I didn't drink coffee and diet drinks don't count either you know this is pretty country isn't it you know it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college you know I'm going to have to revise my twenty-year plan but did I tell you about my 20-year plan okay well okay listen here in year one this is the year when I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds you know that's equal to seven pounds of butter haha so it's like I'm wearing seven pounds of butter ha and well uh oh where was I oh oh yeah so my aunt and uncle here they did celebrate their twentieth anniversary and my uncle wanted to sing 'Sunset Sunrise' and he wanted *me* to sing it and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding and well she never thanked me for that... well she's really busy and all.

I was NOT going to type that lot out. No sir. 

Later in that scene, when the car pulls up to the lodge & Mike comes out,
Servo (still talking as girl): "Where's Torgo? We came to see Torgo!"


from THE TRUCK FARMER:

Narrator: "In Texas there is a problem - "
Crow: "Texans."

[Trevor]

The end credits of Space Mutiny. Servo is hilarious, responding to the song lyrics, then singing along using bits of 80s tunes that all fit the music equally well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzYdUOmxnC4

I hate to admit it but friends of mine produced that. 

[Trevor]

Blood Waters of Dr Z / ZAAT:

[The monster trips over something]

Crow: "Oopsie."