THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[Trevor]

BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET

CROW: It's that thing again! That thing that's driving the plot... into nowhere...

[Girl falls from high building presumably to her death]
CROW: Ooo, she missed the pool. That's going to effect her score.

TOM: Did ancient astronauts wear Lee Press-On Nails?

[Rev. Powell]

"The Phantom Creeps, Episode 1"

Lugosi to henchman: "You have failed, Monk."
TOM: What do you mean, I wrote 'Straight No Chaser,' 'Round Midnight,' lots of good stuff!

JUNGLE GODDESS

At a nightclub where a singer is doing a "sultry" song:
JOEL: Do you think I could get a seat in the no singing section?

After she finishes her torch song:
ALL: Freebird! Freebird!

Jungle Goddess: "The penalty for murder is the same here as anywhere else."
TOM: Plea bargain with suspended sentence.

[TYTD Reviews]

I was always a sucker for "He tried to kill me with a forklift" though "Big Mclargehuge" and "SKIPPPPERRRRR!!!! ... ... ... lil buddy" always made me laugh xD

[Trevor]

"Big Mclargehuge" 

Friends and colleagues of mine made Space Mutiny 

[AoTFan]

"Big Mclargehuge" 

Friends and colleagues of mine made Space Mutiny 

Wonder if any of them have seen that episode... hehe.

[Trevor]

"Big Mclargehuge" 

Friends and colleagues of mine made Space Mutiny 

Wonder if any of them have seen that episode... hehe.

I had lunch with one of the producers and her husband in March this year and no, they didn't realize that this film had taken on a life of its own. 

[Rev. Powell]

ESCAPE 2000

MIKE: So, the hero of our movie has to go out and hire another hero?

[Explosion sends extra flying]
CROW: This trampoline accident could have been avoided. Never use a trampoline with unstable TNT in your pocket.

[Extras are running gagging from poison gas]
MIKE: Oh man, those Annie Sprinkle performances...

[Trevor]

It Conquered The World

Tom: "You know, this coffee tastes like it came out of an oil derrick. What did you strain it through, a mummy?"

[Trevor]

Castle of Fu Manchu

[Guy sees the assassins coming for him]

Tom: "Oh, it's you guys."

[Svengoolie 3]

Diabolik, during laughing gas attack.

"Dan Quayle announces his presidential candidacy."

[AoTFan]

Zombie Nightmare

(Adam West kicks a police suspect who's being held on the floor in the face)

TOM: That was easy for him, he just pretended it was Tim Burton!


Samurai Cop

POLICE CHIEF: Well, f**k you, f**k you and f**k you!!
MIKE: This guy used to work customer service at United Airlines.

[Trevor]

Overdrawn At The Memory Bank:

Fat Man: "Good of you to spare me the time, Mr Fingal."
[walks away: Crow and Tom provide farting and burp noises]

[Trevor]

HOBGOBLINS

[Some idiot with a green face appears]

Crow: "I wonder if he knows his face looks like that?"

[quabrot]

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Santa:  "We're going out the old fashioned way..."
"Guns a'blazing!"

Touch of Satan
"I sure hope he said peanuts..."

[Trevor]

The Pod People

Tom: "Even the movie The Fog didn't have this much fog."