Funny thread comments

[Trevor]

I've saved a lot of these since 2007 because they always make me smile:

Andrew (after the birth of his son)

Them there con-dom things is unnatural city folk magic.  I can almost imagine them suffocating mah willy.  Besides, yah should see the boys in collared shirts after you hit one with a water con-dom, 'specially one of the ones with the stickum on it

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Jack: (weird goings on in his home town)

So today we get this headline:  Woman charged for assault with knife and pizza.It wouldn't actually seem so weird, but not too long ago we had someone attacking someone with a squeegee and a window screen.

Ghouck: (on Hot Pockets)

I had one of the newer jalapeno flavored ones, which made me crap so hard I actually felt recoil

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RC Merchant: (on the Freecycle website)

We've helped alot of people out-and we got Jed and Eddie their beds when you moved into our house with it.

Ash (in reply to the above)

Wait a minute...
I moved into your house?

Bandlaus: (looking for info)

Dunno where the hell I've stumbled across it, but midget clowns, buxom teens and whippings can't possibly fail to be brilliant.

(Oh, and if there's a strict no-tits policy here, just let me know, and I'll take it down. Ain't that explicit, so I thought it would pass. Potential new-guy-mistake :P )