ATENTION HUNTERS: How do i catch a LIVE Beaver?

[KYGOTC]

I need a live beaver by March 19th. I live by the Missippi river, so i guess that would be a good place to look, but how does one CAPTURE one of the little buggers? Please help!

[Rev. Powell]

I'm biting my lip... funniest thread title EVER!  Sorry I can't help.

[paula]

drive a nice car and buy some jewerly

[flackbait]

Well you try to grab the beaver by the tail. Then start swinging it into a pendulum motion so it start to relax. Finally you swing it against a tree or another hard object.

EDIT: Is this a joke thread?!? Man am I a moron!

[KYGOTC]

No, this is NOT a joke, you goons. I REALLY need to be able to capture a beaver by March 19th. It's for a music show.

[paula]

drive a nice car and buy some jewerly

wow, not even a titter for my response....it's been an uphill climb here lately.

anyway, found this, it might help:

http://www.ehow.com/how_2063957_trap-beavers.html

[Psycho Circus]

Perhaps go to a bar, get chatting and don't be afraid to flirt. Dress well, smell good, be funny and be confident! 

...And KYGOTC remember, if do catch a beaver, make sure you're wearing protection.

[paula]

Perhaps go to a bar, get chatting and don't be afraid to flirt. Dress well, smell good, be funny and be confident! 

...And KYGOTC remember, if do catch a beaver, make sure you're wearing protection.

does one ever really CATCH a beaver? 

[Psycho Circus]

Perhaps go to a bar, get chatting and don't be afraid to flirt. Dress well, smell good, be funny and be confident! 

...And KYGOTC remember, if do catch a beaver, make sure you're wearing protection.

does one ever really CATCH a beaver? 

I haven't. It's always the beavers that seem to catch me. 

[paula]

Perhaps go to a bar, get chatting and don't be afraid to flirt. Dress well, smell good, be funny and be confident! 

...And KYGOTC remember, if do catch a beaver, make sure you're wearing protection.

does one ever really CATCH a beaver? 

I haven't. It's always the beavers that seem to catch me. 

touche!

[Trevor]

Well you try to grab the beaver by the tail. Then start swinging it into a pendulum motion so it start to relax. Finally you swing it against a tree or another hard object.

+ 

[Newt]

No, this is NOT a joke, you goons. I REALLY need to be able to capture a beaver by March 19th. It's for a music show.

Hmm...I would be talking to wildlife rehab people (start at your local SPCA? - they should be able to point you in the right direction?)- or a zoo - about 'hiring' an animal for a small donation (or even free publicity?).  If you are hoping to do it at no/minimal cost, you would need at least a live trap and the advice/expertise of someone who is versed in using one.  Maybe someone who has a wildlife/pest removal business: they usually have live traps to use for clients who insist on being humane.  Depending where you are, the wild ones don't spend much time out in the cold this time of year - that makes it difficult.  And as an animal lover, I personally think that it would be far kinder/more humane to use a beaver who is at least partially accustomed to humans, crowds, noise and lights etc.  The less stress on the animal, the more cooperative the beastie is likely to be.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

not many threads have made me stare in a "Car Accident" fashion.  This one wins


-Ed

[meQal]

This thread reminded me of a line by Jeff Foxworthy, "If you ever had your nipple bitten off by a beaver...you might be a redneck." So guard your nipples when trying to catch one.

[Andrew]

I need a live beaver by March 19th.

Oh...oh, dear.