Human Centipede

[Paquita]

So a doctor studied hard for a decade at medical school and went through all those apprenticeships so he could surgically attach peoples
mouths to others anuses...
I'm glad society can allocate scarce resources so efficiently!

I'm so glad you said that because up to that post I was almost tempted to watch the trailer.. now I really don't want to!

[Jim H]

That gives me an even stranger thought - there are probably fans of scat porn who are having a whole different reaction to this movie.

Well, this film is to scat porn as rape porn is to regular porn.  I think that's probably the best comparison. 

Man, I hope this board's speculations are a lot worse than what actually occurs in the movie.  Thanks for helping to psychologically prepare me for the worst.

From the reviews I'm looked at, it appears that yes, our musings are actually worse than what appears on screen.  There's also one sequence that actually deals with excrement, from what I can gather.  It's gross, but from the way reviewers talk about it, not overly graphic.  Maybe I'm reading the reviews wrong though...

[AndyC]

There's also one sequence that actually deals with excrement, from what I can gather.  It's gross, but from the way reviewers talk about it, not overly graphic.  Maybe I'm reading the reviews wrong though...

I don't suppose it could be graphic, since you wouldn't see any poo until Number 3 goes number 2. Unless the centipede springs a leak at one of the joints.

[Rev. Powell]

OK, here's my review of HUMAN CENTIPEDE, released to badmovies.org readers first:


There's something in Hollywood that's called a "high concept."  It doesn't mean what you probably think it means.  It refers to a plot hook that is so simple it can be compellingly summarized in a single sentence, like "a mad doctor turns three people into a human centipede."  People will buy tickets to see it based on that easily digestible premise, so filmmakers can fill the remainder of the movie with whatever supporting crap they need to, just so long as it pads the film out to feature length.  The Human Centipede is a perfect example of a high concept horror film.  People are seduced into buying a ticket by the idea of seeing a human centipede, never minding the fact that they won't see anything in the movie they didn't already imagine when they heard the one sentence summary.  After watching the two minute trailer, it seemed like I knew everything that was going to happen in the film, so I was curious to see how director Tom Six would fill up the remaining 88 minutes.   The results of my study follow.  (Note: there aren't really any spoilers in the following description, as there's not enough plot to spoil).

    * HORROR MOVIE SETUP WE'VE SEEN 1,000 TIMES BEFORE:  Two hot, ditzy American tourists in Holland put on too much eye makeup, sensing that it will make them look cool, sexy and vulnerable when it smears in the rain after their caught in a downpour after their car breaks down late at night in a spooky woods and they have to walk to an isolated ranch style home where a doctor who looks like a Dutch Christopher Walken with acne scars serves them a drugged drink.  There is actually one valuable lesson to be learned in this segment: if you're on a deserted road and find you have to rush into the woods to use the bathroom, don't do your business right in front of the parked car of the only homicidal maniac to be found in a twenty five kilometer radius. 20 minutes.
    * RECOGNITION OF THE HORROR THAT'S ABOUT TO BEFALL THEM:  The dastardly villain proves he's willing to go to any lengths in his villainy.  Recapitulating the trailer in case the girls didn't catch it on YouTube, he then shows his helpless victims a helpful slideshow of the horrors he's about to inflict upon them.  15 minutes.
    * FALSE HOPE 1: THE HEROINE ESCAPES!:  Realizing that there's still a lot of time to fill up, the villain turns his back for a split second to allow the heroine to escape.  The villain gets more character development when he proves his dastardliness by refusing to let the girl go, even though she pleads with him.  Realizing there's still a lot of time to fill up, the heroine relies on her ditziness and refuses to do the one sane thing anyone in her situation would do: run away as fast as possible and come back later with help for her friends.  10 minutes.
    * THE HORROR ABOUT TO BEFALL THEM BEFALLS THEM: Surgical tooth removal and buttock-flap creation, not as grisly as you might imagine.  Spooky music.  The human centipede is revealed!  5 minutes.

The movie has now achieved its purpose, but there's still a ways to go.  So we get:

    * THE ACTUAL HORROR OF THE HORROR THAT BEFELL THEM DAWNS ON THEM: The implications of life as a human centipede are fully explored.  The evil doctor trains the human centipede to walk, fetch the morning paper, and eat from a dog bowl.  The story briefly and distastefully touches upon the elimination issue that was probably the first thing that came to your mind when you heard the premise.  The two girls who make up the second and third segments never fully adjust to life as a human centipede; just as they never stopped babbling in their pre-human centipede days, they never stop sobbing for the rest of the movie.  Ladies, I'm sure that daily life as a human centipede is hard, but at some point you just have to suck it up and stop whining.  The fact that their sobs are muffled by the buttocks of the segment ahead of them really doesn't make it any less annoying.  15 minutes.
    * FALSE HOPE 2: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE ESCAPES!:  The authorities start sniffing around to investigate all the mysterious disappearances.  This sets up a hope that everything will turn out alright.  This is intended to create suspense.  The human centipede takes advantage of the situation and escapes, sobbing all the while!  The human centipede briefly gets the upper hand but chivalrously decides not to take the doctor's life or keep the precious weapon it found.  15 minutes.
    * CLIMAX:  The detectives forget their detective training, thus risking their lives, at crucial moments.  The saga of the human centipede takes an unexpected turn.  Dumb, but unexpected.  The ending is supposed to be a downer, but really, the authorities will arrive in a few hours, and how hard can human centipede reversal surgery actually be? 10 minutes.

So, the answer to the question of how director Tom Six would pad the film to fill up the extra 88 minutes of screentime turns out to be an ingenious and efficient one: he relies on tried and true horror movie formulas and clichés. The full movie is no improvement on the trailer, but it is 45 times longer. Now that I think back on it, the 2 minute trailer may have been padded, as well.

[AndyC]

So, an ordinary horror movie with people doing dumb things, but with one original idea. Makes sense.

I'm just having a hard time trying to imagine a "buttock flap." How does that work?

[Rev. Powell]

So, an ordinary horror movie with people doing dumb things, but with one original idea. Makes sense.

I'm just having a hard time trying to imagine a "buttock flap." How does that work?

It's not shown in surgical detail, but the idea is there's extra skin cut off the buttocks to help create a seal around the posterior segment's mouth.

[AndyC]

How hard can human centipede reversal surgery actually be?

You know, I think it's pretty safe to say you're the first person who has ever uttered that particular phrase. Congratulations.

[Jim H]

So, an ordinary horror movie with people doing dumb things, but with one original idea. Makes sense.

I'm just having a hard time trying to imagine a "buttock flap." How does that work?

It's not shown in surgical detail, but the idea is there's extra skin cut off the buttocks to help create a seal around the posterior segment's mouth.

Probably the most fascinating bit is I've heard a few medical types talking about this.  Apparently the concept is actually possible, though it'd require an IV drip to keep a "human centipede" alive.  But, such a creation could live for years like that.

Are they only fused by a flesh flap?  Frankly, if that's the case, I'm surprised they didn't tear themselves apart.  It'd really hurt, but you could survive it, I should think.. 

[retrorussell]

I might see this if it were about humans turned into a centipede, which invades the Mushroom Kingdom along with spiders and giant fleas, while a cannon fires upon the human centipede.  Their body parts, broken apart, continue to attack the cannon as it fires on them.

Something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZPPL3hX3Kk

[AndyC]

So, an ordinary horror movie with people doing dumb things, but with one original idea. Makes sense.

I'm just having a hard time trying to imagine a "buttock flap." How does that work?

It's not shown in surgical detail, but the idea is there's extra skin cut off the buttocks to help create a seal around the posterior segment's mouth.

Probably the most fascinating bit is I've heard a few medical types talking about this.  Apparently the concept is actually possible, though it'd require an IV drip to keep a "human centipede" alive.  But, such a creation could live for years like that.

Are they only fused by a flesh flap?  Frankly, if that's the case, I'm surprised they didn't tear themselves apart.  It'd really hurt, but you could survive it, I should think.. 

I'd read the same thing. They consulted a surgeon, who was reluctant at first, but apparently had a lot of fun devising the procedure. Kind of a puzzle for him.

I agree, it doesn't sound like the connection would be strong enough, and now it sounds like the mouth isn't fully attached, but surrounded by a sort of ass gasket. I was expecting more of an integration with a bit of structural support, maybe in the form of a steel rod or something. I suppose if there was too much restructuring, you'd start running into problems of tissue rejection, and you might diminish that sense of someone sh!tting into a mouth, which might actually make it less uncomfortable for viewers.

I've read the full plot summary, and it sounds like the ending is just open enough for one of the centipede segments to return in the sequel. If the pattern of movie cliches continues, one of the girls might come back with some unusual scars, a set of dentures and something of a vigilante attitude. Be interesting to see if I'm right. Was the doctor killed, or was that ambiguous as well? Hard to imagine pulling the same gimmick with a different doctor.

Jeez, now I don't know. There are certain things I know I shouldn't watch, because I find something about them just a little too disturbing. For a fan of action and horror, I actually have a lot of empathy. But it's matched by an equal fascination for the way things work, and this movie is starting to really get me curious, if only to get a good look at the centipede. And it sounds like it might not be the orgy of coprophagia I'd imagined. Heck, even if I just saw the doctor's slide show.

[Jack]

I got a moderately good look at the human centipede in the trailer, which pretty much satisfies my curiosity.  On a technical note, wouldn't there be very little nutritional value in the poop?  I mean, that's what's left after the human body has extracted everything useful from the food.  Not to mention that water is more important than food, but...I think I'll stop right there. 

[AndyC]

I think that's where the IV drip comes in.

[Rev. Powell]

So, an ordinary horror movie with people doing dumb things, but with one original idea. Makes sense.

I'm just having a hard time trying to imagine a "buttock flap." How does that work?

It's not shown in surgical detail, but the idea is there's extra skin cut off the buttocks to help create a seal around the posterior segment's mouth.

Probably the most fascinating bit is I've heard a few medical types talking about this.  Apparently the concept is actually possible, though it'd require an IV drip to keep a "human centipede" alive.  But, such a creation could live for years like that.

Are they only fused by a flesh flap?  Frankly, if that's the case, I'm surprised they didn't tear themselves apart.  It'd really hurt, but you could survive it, I should think.. 

I'd read the same thing. They consulted a surgeon, who was reluctant at first, but apparently had a lot of fun devising the procedure. Kind of a puzzle for him.

I agree, it doesn't sound like the connection would be strong enough, and now it sounds like the mouth isn't fully attached, but surrounded by a sort of ass gasket. I was expecting more of an integration with a bit of structural support, maybe in the form of a steel rod or something. I suppose if there was too much restructuring, you'd start running into problems of tissue rejection, and you might diminish that sense of someone sh!tting into a mouth, which might actually make it less uncomfortable for viewers.

I've read the full plot summary, and it sounds like the ending is just open enough for one of the centipede segments to return in the sequel. If the pattern of movie cliches continues, one of the girls might come back with some unusual scars, a set of dentures and something of a vigilante attitude. Be interesting to see if I'm right. Was the doctor killed, or was that ambiguous as well? Hard to imagine pulling the same gimmick with a different doctor.

Jeez, now I don't know. There are certain things I know I shouldn't watch, because I find something about them just a little too disturbing. For a fan of action and horror, I actually have a lot of empathy. But it's matched by an equal fascination for the way things work, and this movie is starting to really get me curious, if only to get a good look at the centipede. And it sounds like it might not be the orgy of coprophagia I'd imagined. Heck, even if I just saw the doctor's slide show.

There was no IV drip shown in the film, a major flaw.  The third segment was shown as malnourished but there was no sense of how much time had passed; it could have been weeks, could have been a few days.  Also it seemed to me that the sutures might not be enough to hold them together.  I don't think the flesh tissue from different specimens would fuse together to create a seal. 

I guess technically two of the segments could return, but I don't know if that would be a major drawing card.  The two heroines were ditzy and annoying, just disposable victims.

The doctor sure looked dead to me, but it's intended as a franchise and he was the face of evil in the movie, so he probably survived.  He certianly was the most memorable character. 

I forgot a rating: I gave it 1.5/5.  It wasn't the worst of the worst; it was watchable, if dumb, and there were a few chuckles along the way.

[Torgo]

This movie sounds incredibly sick and depraved. Which is the exact reason that I need to see it when it comes out on DVD eventually! 

[Doggett]

I'm waiting for Human Centipede 3: Electric Boogaloo 

With all those extra limbs it should be break dance-tastic !