Nice things people do that offend you

AndyC · August 12, 2010, 08:29:37 AM

I'm sure we all have one or two of these. Things people do to be nice to you that just p**s you off, and you can't say a thing about it without looking petty or grouchy.

When I'm getting my keys out, I'll sometimes drop a penny or two out of my pocket. Either I don't notice, or I figure it's not worth putting down my groceries to pick up anything smaller than a quarter. Rowan likes to find coins on the front porch, so I just leave the odd penny or nickel where it falls.

So, what's offensive? People who come to the door and feel compelled to do what wasn't worth my time right in front of me, bending over and picking up pennies and then handing them to me. "Oh look, you dropped some money." Older gentlemen tend to do this, but it's not exclusive to them.

OK, you've come to my door for something, and it wasn't to look for loose change. Why are you wasting my time? Who told you to pick anything up off my porch? And why the hell do you think I need three pennies you picked up off the ground? Am I supposed to be grateful? I notice these people don't feel a need to pick up a loose bit of litter or anything else, just small change, which they make a production of handing to me. I'd be less offended if they picked the pennies up and kept them before they rang the bell.

I could ignore this if it was one person's idiosyncrasy, but it's happened at least three times in the past year, with different people. What is the deal with that?

The Gravekeeper · August 12, 2010, 10:45:40 AM

People saying "sorry" just because you happened to come around a corner at the same time as them. It's like a plague in my country...I mean, what are they sorry for? Coincidentally meeting? It's not like they necessarily bumped into you (which could warrant a quick "sorry"). Then again, when you spend enough time in this country you start to realize that our frequent "sorry"s aren't apologies; they're just a habit we picked up as children so as to seem as inoffensive and polite as possible.

I suppose it is better to hear a polite if completely insecere apology than an honest "f*ck you" when you meet a stranger at the corner, though.

Mr. DS · August 12, 2010, 11:14:40 AM

1.) One time I got a flat tire about a half mile from my then appartment. I drove up the street on it slowly figuring the driveway would be best to change it and this manical woman is behind me all the while blarring her horn. I pull into the driveway and she stops in the middle of the road, rolls down her window and shouts, "EXCUSE ME, YOU HAVE A FLAT TIRE". No f*cking sh!t, really? You mean my car shaking wasn't normal? Thanks for stressing me out further.

2.) People who hold the door for you while you are about 50 yards away. That way you have to go into a half @ssed run to get to the door to not seem rude. However, as time goes on I find myself walking slower.

3.) People who ask "are you alright" right away when you fall. It just seems like the wrong time to ask such a question.

Flick James · August 12, 2010, 01:11:43 PM

People who come to my door to try and convert me to their religion. I'm sure they're doing something that they feel is very nice. Afterall, they're trying to save my soul, right? If they're right about the afterlife, that would be a very nice thing, wouldn't it? "Offend" is not the right word. More like "annoy."

On that note, someone trying to stop me to talk about their faith or to convert me in a public place does not annoy me, at least it annoys me very, very little. Just don't come to my house.

Now, if my house is on fire, you have full permission to come in and save my ass.

AndyC · August 12, 2010, 01:22:26 PM

Quote from: The Gravekeeper on August 12, 2010, 10:45:40 AM
People saying "sorry" just because you happened to come around a corner at the same time as them. It's like a plague in my country...I mean, what are they sorry for? Coincidentally meeting? It's not like they necessarily bumped into you (which could warrant a quick "sorry"). Then again, when you spend enough time in this country you start to realize that our frequent "sorry"s aren't apologies; they're just a habit we picked up as children so as to seem as inoffensive and polite as possible.

I suppose it is better to hear a polite if completely insecere apology than an honest "f*ck you" when you meet a stranger at the corner, though.

I didn't realize until now you were Canadian.

The other one I hate is people who are all apologetic about passing me in a store aisle. I'm looking at something, I deliberately make room for them to pass, and they hesitate, bob up and down a couple of times, then scoot across quickly while ducking their heads nowhere near enough to accomplish anything and muttering "excuse me."

Thanks. That cockatoo mating dance was really less of a distraction than if you'd just walked in front of me.

It's all about making a visible effort to avoid being inconsiderate. Not everybody goes to that much trouble, but the minimum seems to be to hesitate, move somewhat quickly and mutter a quick apology. I took a step back to make room, I'm clearly aware of their presence, and they have every right to walk there. Just walk by and our interaction is complete. Anything more only makes it more distracting.

I think what bugs me about unnecessary apologies or politeness are they put the obligation on me. I have to graciously accept an apology somebody didn't need to make, that was more of an annoyance than if they'd just been "rude" by saying nothing. They made a gesture that needlessly cast me as the guy who needed to be appeased. Apologies should be about taking responsibility, but in a weird way, they can also put responsibility on the other guy. You've been courteous to me, and now I owe you something, however insignificant.

Jack · August 12, 2010, 01:24:05 PM

When I'm playing golf and I hit a ball way out into the woods, out of bounds. I hit another ball (that's what the rules say you're supposed to do), and just leave the first one out in the woods. I've got probably 5 lbs of balls in my golf bag, and at least two shoe boxes of them at home - what do I care if I lose one? But there's always somebody who's got to go trudging out there to look for something I didn't want in the first place. An of course I've got to go help them - can't let somebody else climb through the woods looking for my ball while I ignore them.

This other guy I play golf with doesn't have the best eyesight. So I'm walking around in the rough and he's always got some suggestions as to where he thinks my ball went. But it's not a ball - It's a piece of paper, or plastic, or a white dandelion or something. But I've gotta walk all the freakin' way over there, knowing full well it's not a golf ball. I'd like to say "You can't see for s***, so stop making suggestions."

3mnkids · August 12, 2010, 01:33:29 PM

People who think they are being helpful but are really just being A holes. Perfect example... I was at a convenience store looking through the cold medicine because I felt like crap(should have been a clue that I wasn't in a good mood) and this guy walks up to me and says... you would be really pretty if you lost a little weight.. what? oh, hell no, he didn't just say that to me! I said, its funny you say that because I was just thinking damn, I wish I could lose some weight so I would look good to some dumb ass stranger.. He replied, I was just trying to help you, b***h! and stormed off.

Flick James · August 12, 2010, 01:57:36 PM

Quote from: 3mnkids on August 12, 2010, 01:33:29 PM
People who think they are being helpful but are really just being A holes. Perfect example... I was at a convenience store looking through the cold medicine because I felt like crap(should have been a clue that I wasn't in a good mood) and this guy walks up to me and says... you would be really pretty if you lost a little weight.. what? oh, hell no, he didn't just say that to me! I said, its funny you say that because I was just thinking damn, I wish I could lose some weight so I would look good to some dumb ass stranger.. He replied, I was just trying to help you, b***h! and stormed off.

I had no idea of your gender, but now I do. Amazing! I have no doubt he actually thought that was a nice thing to say to a stranger, but it's still amazing there are people that clueless.

lester1/2jr · August 12, 2010, 03:10:47 PM

Quote.) People who hold the door for you while you are about 50 yards away. That way you have to go into a half @ssed run to get to the door to not seem rude. However, as time goes on I find myself walking slower.

I HATE that. oh my god it is the OPPOSITE of courtesy when I have to run to the door

AndyC · August 12, 2010, 03:17:11 PM

Quote from: Flick James on August 12, 2010, 01:57:36 PM
Quote from: 3mnkids on August 12, 2010, 01:33:29 PM
People who think they are being helpful but are really just being A holes. Perfect example... I was at a convenience store looking through the cold medicine because I felt like crap(should have been a clue that I wasn't in a good mood) and this guy walks up to me and says... you would be really pretty if you lost a little weight.. what? oh, hell no, he didn't just say that to me! I said, its funny you say that because I was just thinking damn, I wish I could lose some weight so I would look good to some dumb ass stranger.. He replied, I was just trying to help you, b***h! and stormed off.

I had no idea of your gender, but now I do. Amazing! I have no doubt he actually thought that was a nice thing to say to a stranger, but it's still amazing there are people that clueless.

Yeah, walking up to a strange woman and giving her advice on how she could look better to you is just creepy, no matter what your intentions are. Hope he caught the cold.

I think I have, on maybe one or two occasions, felt it was appropriate to compliment a woman I did not know and had no intention of getting to know. And then it was somebody who made some unconventional fashion choices that I really liked, and it came off more as "good for you, I like what you've done" than anything else.

The Burgomaster · August 12, 2010, 03:59:40 PM

When someone is eating something and they say, "Do you want some? It's really good. Seriously. Just try a little. Just have a bite. It's so good. Here, have some of mine. Just a taste . . ."

I DON'T WANT IT , DAMN YOU!

Mr. DS · August 12, 2010, 07:40:30 PM

4.) I hate when people offer up advice no one asked for in an attempt to make life "easier". I find older people do this a lot because they're under the impression age always = wisdom.

5.) People who repeatedly insist on saying, "you didn't have to do that" when you buy them a gift. Shut the f*ck up and take the gift already!

6.) People who buy you Christmas ornaments during the holidays. What the hell am I going do with something I can keep out for a few weeks in December? Spend the 5 bucks on a 12 pack of soda and I'll be happier.

Bmeansgood · August 12, 2010, 08:47:49 PM

Quote from: Jack on August 12, 2010, 01:24:05 PM
When I'm playing golf and I hit a ball way out into the woods, out of bounds. I hit another ball (that's what the rules say you're supposed to do), and just leave the first one out in the woods. I've got probably 5 lbs of balls in my golf bag, and at least two shoe boxes of them at home - what do I care if I lose one? But there's always somebody who's got to go trudging out there to look for something I didn't want in the first place. An of course I've got to go help them - can't let somebody else climb through the woods looking for my ball while I ignore them.

This other guy I play golf with doesn't have the best eyesight. So I'm walking around in the rough and he's always got some suggestions as to where he thinks my ball went. But it's not a ball - It's a piece of paper, or plastic, or a white dandelion or something. But I've gotta walk all the freakin' way over there, knowing full well it's not a golf ball. I'd like to say "You can't see for s***, so stop making suggestions."

I'm with you. It's just a damn golf ball.

JaseSF · August 12, 2010, 10:47:19 PM

People who stop when you want to cross the road and then point and blow incessantly about you getting across as fast as you can. Jeez, what'd you even stop for then?!

BTM · August 12, 2010, 11:00:45 PM

Sometimes when the breakfast girl is sick and/or doesn't show up, I end up having to work the breakfast area (usually I just set breakfast out around five and work it until 6:30, then the hostess takes over.) On a few occasions, I've had to stay a little extra until someone else can come in to take over, and once or twice I had to do the WHOLE breakfast period.

Now, I don't really like working breakfast, it's a lot of running around, the kitchen is hot like crazy, and time just slows to a crawwwwwl when you're doing that job. Anyway, one time, I'm dashing around, sweating dripping off me like crazy, trying NOT to get p**sed because, after all, this isn't really my job, and several of the guests in the hotel smile at me and say, "They're really working you hard, aren't they?"