B-Movie Binge: Part 1

[KYGOTC]

Just for sh!ts, I decided to do a bunch of mini-reviews for those nights where I have nothing to do but fire up the ol' dvd player and watch me some shlocky movies. I don't nececarily need to do one EVERY NIGHT, but expect a few a week. Here's the first 3.

Night 1:"The Giant Gila Monster"

             Classic 50's black and white monster movie, but not the kind that were most common at the time. Instead of an alien or an atomic mutant of some kind, the monster in this movie is simply a giant Gila. The effect is charmingly bad. They use an actual Gila and have it walk thru model houses and trains. Classic. My only beef with it is that one mother f**ker who sings christian folk songs throughout the movie.



Night 2: "Class of 1999"

             The sequel to the somewhat better known "Class of 1984", although it shares none of the same characters. Yea. It's one of THOSE. But even so, this one is right up my alley. Here's the scene: Picture the high school Snake Pliskin and Mad Max went to. Still not interested? THe schools have gone so out of control that one school volenteers as a guinie pig military testing. They bring in cybrog teachers to keep the gangs of the school in check. If they step out of line, They get the axe. Or a spanking. Yes. There IS a spanking scene. Oh, and  Malcom McDowell plays the princaple.



Night 3: "Tromeo & Juliet"

             A 90's spin on Shakespeare's s**tty drama, Troma's "Tromeo & Juliet" is a movie that requires more than one watch for you to really dig it. It's suprisingly sluggish for a Troma movie, but that's mostly due to the fact that it replicates most of the original dialouge from "Romeo & Juliet" and I'm just not a fan of that lame renisance crap. But it has redeeming qualities. Like lesbians, for example. And a penis monster. And car crashes. And about a fourth of the movie takes place in a seedy tatoo parlor. So it's not a boring movie, but don't expect non-stop mayhem like most Troma movies have.          

[indianasmith]

"Lame renaissance crap . . . ."?!?!?!


(Indy gasps, snorts, clutches his chest, and slumps over the keyboard)

[RCMerchant]

Night 1:"The Giant Gila Monster"

             Classic 50's black and white monster movie, but not the kind that were most common at the time. Instead of an alien or an atomic mutant of some kind, the monster in this movie is simply a giant Gila. The effect is charmingly bad. They use an actual Gila and have it walk thru model houses and trains. Classic. My only beef with it is that one mother f**ker who sings christian folk songs throughout the movie.


   

Like this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siRaaXczANo

Hers the cure-from NIGHT OF BLOODY HORROR(1969) the BORED!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iRo6_3LLz8
Thats Gerald (MAJOR DAD) McRaney going apes**t!

[Jack]

I'd completely forgotten I'd seen the Giant Gila Monster until you mention Christian folk singing.  Oh and then there was the little girl trying to walk - what was there, 20 minutes of movie and 70 minutes of padding?  It didn't quite break the needle on the boring-meter, but it was bending pretty severely.

[KYGOTC]

I'd completely forgotten I'd seen the Giant Gila Monster until you mention Christian folk singing.  Oh and then there was the little girl trying to walk - what was there, 20 minutes of movie and 70 minutes of padding?  It didn't quite break the needle on the boring-meter, but it was bending pretty severely.

Yea, it CAN be a tad bit sluggish.....and usually boring-ness is the only thing that'll turn me away from a b-movie, but those 40s-50's bblack and white monster movies are to campy to NOT watch, so i make an exeption.

[lester1/2jr]

I used to have a copy of giant gila monster and would show it when girls came over because it was easy to talk to and so bad that making out with me seemed amazingly preferable.

[Mr. DS]

Oddly the awful songs is all I recall about The Giant Gila Monster.   

[KYGOTC]

"Lame renaissance crap . . . ."?!?!?!


(Indy gasps, snorts, clutches his chest, and slumps over the keyboard)

I just can't dig it, bro. Not Shakespeare, anyway. In high-school, my literature teachers and I would always butt heads about it becasue they would try to convince me that it was a FACT that he was the greatest writer who ever lived, and I would always argue that it was a matter of opinion. I just never really dug 'im. I'm not into dramas, fer real.