My brother in law.

[Allhallowsday]

Also, I'm living proof that not all people with no life have facebook accounts!

Why no Facebook account?

Because, a life or not, Facebook is the enemy of the people.   

[AndyC]

I'm inclined to agree that aggressively obnoxious people are often hiding a serious inferiority complex. Gotta prove all those other people aren't better than you. Gotta stay in control.

If somebody butts into a conversation with a rude comment, I would call them on the intrusion more than the comment. "Wow, that sure added a lot." "Who rattled your cage?" "Would you care to join in the conversation, or just kibitz from the sidelines?"

Of course, the beauty of people like that is that you are never alone in your opinion of them. You're bound to find another relative who can't stand him either, and if he's as bad as you say, he's bound to wear thin on the ones who like him. One rude comment too many is all it takes.

[AndyC]

By the way, how come of all the regulars on this board who have Facebook, Menard is the only one I've managed to connect with?

[Umaril The Unfeathered]

Also, I'm living proof that not all people with no life have facebook accounts!

Why no Facebook account?

Because, a life or not, Facebook is the enemy of the people.   

Me not have Facebook either. I used to have Myspace and HI 5 though, a few years back.

I'm inclined to agree that aggressively obnoxious people are often hiding a serious inferiority complex. Gotta prove all those other people aren't better than you. Gotta stay in control.

If somebody butts into a conversation with a rude comment, I would call them on the intrusion more than the comment. "Wow, that sure added a lot." "Who rattled your cage?" "Would you care to join in the conversation, or just kibitz from the sidelines?"

Of course, the beauty of people like that is that you are never alone in your opinion of them. You're bound to find another relative who can't stand him either, and if he's as bad as you say, he's bound to wear thin on the ones who like him. One rude comment too many is all it takes.

Reminds me of an old friend I had...had being the key word. This guy was a real jerk.

Everytime you told him something, it was always countered with negativity.

Had a problem you wanted to discuss with him? It was always, "better you than me"  or "well that's the difference between you and me, because I don't do "this" or "that."

Always praising his own "intelligence" while downgrading others for their mistakes.

But whenever HE made a mistake, it was just a mistake.  

Then it was the constant "yeah but" he would engage in to try to convince himself he was right no matter what, and a laundry list of other offenses too long to convey.

Needless to say he was self centered, self-serving and dismissive of everything around him except his own reality.  Which is why he's no longer my friend.

The day my next door neighbor's nephew was killed in an ATV accident (no helmet) he came right out and said, "not to be rude, but what a fu*kin idiot for not wearing a helmet."  

That was the day he and I split.

[BTM]

Aside from some lessons at Menard's School of Intimidation and Self Defense, try to be there for your niece if you can.  Even if it's something as simple as dropping her off or picking her up from somewhere in place of him.  Sure, he might punch you, but I don't think your mom would be so quick to jump to his defense after that.

Well, my niece is pretty much on her own now.  She's got her own place with her current boyfriend.  As I've mentioned in other posts she had a baby girl October 09 and is expecting her second child next January.  Yeah, she got pregnant again shortly after the first one was born.  And did I mention that, like her mother, she was only 18 when she had the first one?

Neat how that sort of thing keeps repeating in circles, huh?

Anyway, I do wish the best for her, just not sure how that'll turn out in the end.  C'est la vie, you know?

[Newt]

By the way, how come of all the regulars on this board who have Facebook, Menard is the only one I've managed to connect with?

I dunno, Andy.  How come?   

[Raffine]

By the way, how come of all the regulars on this board who have Facebook, Menard is the only one I've managed to connect with?

I dunno, Andy.  How come?   

My (rarely visited!) Facebook account seems to be mostly populated with gals I went to high school with posting endless photos of cute kittens, their kids, and making absurb requesting for fish.

I'd love to have some of you guys stirring stuff on there! 

[BTM]

By the way, how come of all the regulars on this board who have Facebook, Menard is the only one I've managed to connect with?

Beats me, I have a link to my Facebook profile on my Badmovies.org forum profile.  (Unless I put in the url wrong..)

[Derf]

Well, I guess that's also part of the problem.  There's a lot of people in this world who think I'm funny, but, for the most part, I'm not related to them.  Most of my relatives are either down to earth type people or overly religious, so an oddball like me just kind of sticks out.  

I guess that's what's really bugging me: it's not really Mark per se, it's just this pervasive feeling I have of not really belonging anywhere.  And I guess the naive part of me clings to the idea that if no where else, family should be the place you can goto and feel like you can be yourself.  

I come from a family of oddballs (we regularly "argue" over who the black sheep of the family is). I guess it is the nature of the oddball to feel like he doesn't fit in anywhere; I certainly feel that way. My siblings and I get along well, but since I'm the youngest by 5 years, our points of cultural reference are slightly different, and they often talk about childhood times that were before my time. My wife and daughter accept and love me, but they don't understand some aspects of my personality (like my love for bad movies  ). That's the thing about family: They may not understand you all the time, but generally they still accept and love you. You may not "fit in," but never let that be the guiding force in your life. As others have said, being true to who you are is more important.

Not that this helps in dealing with a jerk in the family. I'm one who just generally takes the abuse, gets angry for a minute or two, and then lets it go. My wife has four brothers. Two are all right. Two are jacka$$es. She agrees with me about this, so we tend to avoid the bad ones when we can, and just ignore their jacka$$ery when we can't. Being the bigger person is a more valuable life trait to me than putting someone in his place and causing more strife. It isn't easy, and some consider me a pushover, but it's ultimately me who has to live with me, and I choose to be the person I want to be. You seem to have a similar viewpoint; otherwise, you'd have changed your personality to "fit in."

I don't know if I've said anything really helpful to you, but know that I can at least understand some of what you're dealing with and can commisserate.

And if anyone wants to connect with me on Facebook, PM me. I have no life.  

[BTM]

The day my next door neighbor's nephew was killed in an ATV accident (no helmet) he came right out and said, "not to be rude, but what a fu*kin idiot for not wearing a helmet."  

That was the day he and I split.

Wow, that's just beyond the pale.  Did you tell him off at that point, or just stopped hanging out with him?

[AndyC]

Also, I'm living proof that not all people with no life have facebook accounts!

Why no Facebook account?

Because, a life or not, Facebook is the enemy of the people.   

Me not have Facebook either. I used to have Myspace and HI 5 though, a few years back.

I'm inclined to agree that aggressively obnoxious people are often hiding a serious inferiority complex. Gotta prove all those other people aren't better than you. Gotta stay in control.

If somebody butts into a conversation with a rude comment, I would call them on the intrusion more than the comment. "Wow, that sure added a lot." "Who rattled your cage?" "Would you care to join in the conversation, or just kibitz from the sidelines?"

Of course, the beauty of people like that is that you are never alone in your opinion of them. You're bound to find another relative who can't stand him either, and if he's as bad as you say, he's bound to wear thin on the ones who like him. One rude comment too many is all it takes.

Reminds me of an old friend I had...had being the key word. This guy was a real jerk.

Everytime you told him something, it was always countered with negativity.

Had a problem you wanted to discuss with him? It was always, "better you than me"  or "well that's the difference between you and me, because I don't do "this" or "that."

Always praising his own "intelligence" while downgrading others for their mistakes.

But whenever HE made a mistake, it was just a mistake.  

Then it was the constant "yeah but" he would engage in to try to convince himself he was right no matter what, and a laundry list of other offenses too long to convey.

Needless to say he was self centered, self-serving and dismissive of everything around him except his own reality.  Which is why he's no longer my friend.

The day my next door neighbor's nephew was killed in an ATV accident (no helmet) he came right out and said, "not to be rude, but what a fu*kin idiot for not wearing a helmet."  

That was the day he and I split.

I used to work with a guy, a reporter, who just delighted in tearing down anyone wealthier, more influential or more important than he was (a lot of people, really). Extremely competitive, very petty. You could just feel the insecurity coming off him.

He was also one of those people who liked to have it both ways. He was more sensible, practical and down-to-earth than the foolish city people who like to come to the area, but at the same time much wiser and more sophisticated than some of the amusingly backward hicks around here. In his own mind, he managed to be better than everybody, for completely opposite reasons.

One of a very small number of people I can truthfully say I hate, without any exaggeration.

[retrorussell]

I have a brother-in-law I've barely ever spoke with.  He's a total douche.  He barely ever speaks to anyone.  And my niece (from my sister and her ex) accused him of phsycial violence at one point, which has completely alienated her mom and him and his own children from the rest of our family.  They have since put her on prescription drugs, because they no doubt feel it's all her fault.  I still care about my niece and I know my sister still cares about me so I still get to see my niece once in a great while (most of the rest of our family is not so lucky), but if that P.O.S. "brother-in-law" were to disappear forever I'm not sure I would give a crap.

[BTM]

I used to work with a guy, a reporter, who just delighted in tearing down anyone wealthier, more influential or more important than he was (a lot of people, really). Extremely competitive, very petty. You could just feel the insecurity coming off him.

He was also one of those people who liked to have it both ways. He was more sensible, practical and down-to-earth than the foolish city people who like to come to the area, but at the same time much wiser and more sophisticated than some of the amusingly backward hicks around here. In his own mind, he managed to be better than everybody, for completely opposite reasons.

One of a very small number of people I can truthfully say I hate, without any exaggeration.

You see this is why I'm particularly cynical about journalists in general.  You know that person back in high school that could start a rumor about pretty much anyone and hordes of people would believe it no matter how blatantly outrageous it was?  And God forbid you get on that person's bad side; they'll came at you both guns blazing?  

Well imagine someone like that only with an audience of several thousand (maybe even hundreds of thousands) of people, and you have a good chunk of modern reporters.

[Umaril The Unfeathered]

The day my next door neighbor's nephew was killed in an ATV accident (no helmet) he came right out and said, "not to be rude, but what a fu*kin idiot for not wearing a helmet."  

That was the day he and I split.

Wow, that's just beyond the pale.  Did you tell him off at that point, or just stopped hanging out with him?

Ooooo, we had it out over the phone, big time.  We had it out about his self-centered "I Me, Mine" attitude, his lack of wanting to hear what other people had to say, and his constant dismissal of others opinions to suit his own reality.  It was a blow-out that covered all the bases.

When I asked him how I would like it if I said that about his father's then-recent diabetes-related death (calling him a dumba*s for not taking care of himself) he went ballistic:

He went "you leave my family out of this!!!"  The usual hypocritical response.

Another thing: He would always avoid having to apologize by saying "oh well that was in the past."   That was what really got me. We had it out about that too.

I'm suprised I put up with it as long as I did. 

But, since we were friends since childhood, and because I gave him the benefit of the doubt several times over the years because of his mother's alcoholism (and his father using his job to escape her) I let a lot slip that I should have tackled earlier. My mistake.

[Trevor]

By the way, how come of all the regulars on this board who have Facebook, Menard is the only one I've managed to connect with?

I sent you a FB friend request a few days back, Andy.