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Stand up or Sit Down?

Started by macabre, January 31, 2011, 11:38:06 AM

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macabre

Hi
Okay guys i am rather bored and I seem to have some time on my hands.
I was talking to one of my relief teachers today and this particular subject cropped up.

When you have finished releasing your excess food from your stomach(had a s**t) do you stay sat down whilst you wipe any residue that refuses to leave(wipe your ass) or do you stand up to finish said job?
You may ask yourself why are two teachers discussing such a peculiar subject.
I have no idea!!!!!.
Over to you guys... :question: :lookingup:
GEEZ! I NEVER REALISED A BRAIN WEIGHED SO MUCH.
WHY HAVE YOU GOT A KNIFE IN YOUR HAND? I HAVEN'T IT'S IN YOUR CHEST.
A MARATHON! MY WIFE COULDN'T RUN A BATH WITHOUT FEELING TIRED.

AndyC

I find it much easier sitting down, but I'm not particularly flexible.

How far are we going with this topic? Simple up or down, or are we going to start comparing techniques?
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"Join me in the abyss of savings."

The Burgomaster

Wipe?  What exactly do you mean by wipe?
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

Hammock Rider

Standing up. 

To quote Tony Stark, "That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far."
Jumping Kings and Making Haste Ain't my Cup of Meat

The Burgomaster

Quote from: Hammock Rider on January 31, 2011, 12:20:28 PM
Standing up. 

To quote Tony Stark, "That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far."

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."

KYGOTC

Wiping is such a pain in the ass.
"I'm a man too, you know! I go pee-pee standing up!"

akiratubo

I sit down.  Too inflexible to reach back there standing up.  I use baby wipes to get extra clean.  Really, wipe with paper until you think you're clean, then use a baby wipe.  You'll be amazed how much more you get with the baby wipe.
Kneel before Dr. Hell, the ruler of this world!

Mr. DS

Stander myself about 95% of the time.   I feel too feminine wiping while sitting down.
DarkSider's Realm
http://darksidersrealm.blogspot.com/

"You think the honey badger cares?  It doesn't give a sh*t."  Randall

Leah

I squat, about 85% sitting, 15% standing up. :twirl:
yeah no.

retrorussell

I stay seated.  Actually I kind of lean to one side to open up a little better or wiggle a cheek to make a chunk fall, then wipe.
Lovely conversation.. where's some chocolate pudding?
"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."

Paquita

I'm usually seated unless I'm wearing something, like pantyhose, where it's easier to just stand up.  I always have wet wipes on hand, although it's usually a waste for me to use them.. either my dry wiping abilities are amazing, or I'm exquisitely clean.. or both.

Which brings me to the front-to-back or back-to-front thing.  Most girls are shocked when I tell them I don't wipe front to back.  I just deal with the areas separately, and I find dabbing to be more efficient.  Why do you have to smear one across the other?

AndyC

Quote from: akiratubo on January 31, 2011, 08:05:02 PM
I sit down.  Too inflexible to reach back there standing up.  I use baby wipes to get extra clean.  Really, wipe with paper until you think you're clean, then use a baby wipe.  You'll be amazed how much more you get with the baby wipe.

I like to do a quick wipe with dry paper, just to get the bulk of it, then grab a fresh piece and put a little lotion on it. Acts as both a lubricant for easier wiping, and as a solvent. Plus, it moisturizes. Quick wipe with the dry, a more thorough wipe with lotion, then fold that piece over for another quick wipe. Gets everything off without being too rough on a sensitive area. No more itching since I figured it out.
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"Join me in the abyss of savings."

claws

Seated. I once wiped standing up but poo nuggets fell unnoticed in my undies so, no more wiping standing up.

Trevor

Quote from: claws on January 31, 2011, 11:56:15 PM
Seated. I once wiped standing up but poo nuggets fell unnoticed in my undies so, no more wiping standing up.

*Sniff* *sniff*: I think I've discovered a long lost family member.  :teddyr:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

The Burgomaster

I stand up, lift my right leg, and rest my foot on the towel rack.  Then I go in via the right side rather than the front or back.  I start with toilet paper to remove as much debris as possible.  Then I use coarse, and finally fine, sandpaper to remove any premature "crusting."  Then I lower my right leg, prop my left foot on the towel rack, and repeat the process.  It takes awhile, but I have a bum you could eat off.
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."