Make a sentence you're pretty sure no-one's said before!

[retrorussell]

Man, there's nothing more embarrassing than accidentally sodomizing yourself with a toothbrush and drinking razor blades.

[indianasmith]

Cat poops taste like dill pickles and cottage cheese.

[ER]

How lightning sings in a tongue primordial!

[retrorussell]

Excuse me, but your aardvark is molesting my drill sergeant in front of a live studio audience.

[ER]

My favorite flavor of ice cream isn't legal in twenty-three states.

[indianasmith]

I'm glad I'm going to work today so I can't go arrowhead hunting.

[ER]

Honorary DARE president Willie Nelson celebrated 4-20 with his usual evening of sobriety.

[ER]

"Never heard of Husker football," said the native of Omaha.

[ER]

The ghoul found he rarely went hungry after moving down the street from the hospital's dumpster.

[retrorussell]

Office, arrest that snowman; he sawed off my gluteus maximus with a butter knife!

[ER]

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night worrying that there's a bullet with my name on it, but then I realize carving my name in a bullet might mess with its accuracy, making the shooter miss, so after that I'm able to fall back asleep.

[retrorussell]

Well, slap my prostate and called me an emaciated apatosaurus; I've grown a THIRD pair of testicles!

[ER]

Against the peeling tones of the church bells of Compline, her withered features softened in the somber moonlight, youthening, her skin cast in tones of December ice, canceling the cosmetic rosebuds on her cheeks, equally frightening and lovely to behold, an act of magic, a blasphemy against logic, manifesting before his widened eyes so that he shrank from her even as he felt his hand reaching out, judging his very life fair price for an instant's caressing of her face, connecting with the mystery of what exactly she had become, or unknown to him, always was.

[retrorussell]

Hey, don't slap my synchopated kitty with a paralyzed mole rat whilst reciting ancient Celtic poetry till its ears bleed.. sheesh, the noive of some phonographs!

[ER]

The floors of Comic-Con were littered with Watchtowers the gift of the Witnesses being unappreciated, though when the Rapture occurred mid-way through Gaiman's televised speech on day two, the faithful laughed a bit as they floated Heaven-ward looking down on the stunned faces of costumed nerdkind below them.