Make a sentence you're pretty sure no-one's said before!

[indianasmith]

The ghost of H.P. Lovecraft is playing solitaire in my cat box.

[Leah]

I ejaculate cold lava

[ER]

"Yes, Ms. Rowling," said the devil in 1997, "people the world over will be irresistibly drawn to your tales of a boy wizard; now please sign on the dotted line."

[retrorussell]

How did that sordid lizard covered in guacamole not see the inflatable eel come swooping in from the 48th dimension to grab a hefty snack in its talons made of Twix?

[Olivia Bauer]

There are eels in my hovercraft!

Wait what was that? THE HELL DO YOU MEAN MONTY PYTHON DID IT FIRST?!

[retrorussell]

Don't knock it till you've tried it; scooping clam chowder into your anus and inhaling liquified bear hearts into your nostrils while rolling in skunk manure can be very beneficial to your health.

[ER]

Wow, the finale of Lost made everything clear!

[retrorussell]

Soupy Sales wanted to take my virginity, but I slashed his scrotum with a jagged turnip and told him to go insult an angry rhinocerous in Kenya.

[ER]

Four forceful flamingoes fondly fondled fizzing Faygos feeling favored finding five fantastic flavors, first for Father Ferd, finally for fabulous Frida Ferguson, furnace fuel finder for Fargo's facility fifteen.

[retrorussell]

Hey; did I SAY you could smash my duodenum with a ferret corpse and scatter the itty bitty remains into the Antarctic Ocean with a t-shirt launcher?!

[indianasmith]

This conversation actually happened between me and one of my students today:

"Mr. Smith, there is a chicken head on the floor."
"Just put it back on the Ninja."

[ER]

In the back seat heading home from the spoiling wonderland of Grandma B's house, three-headed Dai-keag-ity was crying so loudly that for just an instant the mother mourned for the days of her virginity.

[ER]

Godzilla asked his rabbi if the Tokyo skyline was kosher.

[ER]

When the guard with the twisted sense of humor promised that for a price he would smuggle the inmate's wife into the prison, the husband didn't figure on her arriving stuffed inside three separate laundry bags.

[retrorussell]

My surgically altered areola aches for Slim Whitman's gooey touch.