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Not another one!!!

Started by Criswell, May 23, 2011, 09:42:05 PM

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Criswell


Olivia Bauer

NO! NO! NO! PLEASE GOD NO! STOP THEM!

venomx


bob

Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa, Villeneuve - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Flick James

I'm at work and that link is blocked. Can one of you good folks fill me in on the travesty?
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

Hammock Rider

Quote from: Flick James on May 24, 2011, 08:26:49 AM
I'm at work and that link is blocked. Can one of you good folks fill me in on the travesty?

Like the slow onslaught of a virulent plague - there's apparently no stopping Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The infamous duo - creators of the "Movie" movies ('Epic Movie', 'Disaster Movie', etc) - have announced that they will be partnering up with Icon Entertainment to distribute their next film worldwide. After their myriad of fart-joke-laden, creepy-animatronic-puppet-having, catchphrase-cameo'd attempts at what they consider "humor", the two "filmmakers" (who may or may not be the first acolytes of The End Times, we can't be sure) are set to stare down the latest trend in genre filmmaking: 3D.



Ingeniously titled "The Biggest Movie of All Time 3D", their newest film is said to satire the growing surge of 3D films such as 'Avatar' (most likely with some third-rate comedian in blue paint trying to lick themself), with what we're sure will be a variety of high-brow comedic sketches, possibly including someone farting right at the screen and/or someone in a fat suit. We also have it on very good authority that they will use the very best and latest celebrity events in the script, so let's just go ahead and assume there will be a Charlie Sheen "Winner!" cameo in there, as well as a possible appearance by Antoine Dodson (either as a spoof, or possibly even the real Dodson).



Why are they making another film? We'll give you $80 million reasons, because that's how much their last film ('Vampires Suck') made, even opening up at the #2 spot on their first weekend. With 3D ticket prices being double (some places nearly triple!) the average price of a 2D showing, it's safe to assume that this won't be their last film either. So please, Spillios - do your civic duty and help us end this. Friends don't let friends watch Friedberg and Seltzer films.


Jumping Kings and Making Haste Ain't my Cup of Meat

Flick James

Quote from: Hammock Rider on May 24, 2011, 08:41:51 AM
Quote from: Flick James on May 24, 2011, 08:26:49 AM
I'm at work and that link is blocked. Can one of you good folks fill me in on the travesty?

Like the slow onslaught of a virulent plague - there's apparently no stopping Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The infamous duo - creators of the "Movie" movies ('Epic Movie', 'Disaster Movie', etc) - have announced that they will be partnering up with Icon Entertainment to distribute their next film worldwide. After their myriad of fart-joke-laden, creepy-animatronic-puppet-having, catchphrase-cameo'd attempts at what they consider "humor", the two "filmmakers" (who may or may not be the first acolytes of The End Times, we can't be sure) are set to stare down the latest trend in genre filmmaking: 3D.



Ingeniously titled "The Biggest Movie of All Time 3D", their newest film is said to satire the growing surge of 3D films such as 'Avatar' (most likely with some third-rate comedian in blue paint trying to lick themself), with what we're sure will be a variety of high-brow comedic sketches, possibly including someone farting right at the screen and/or someone in a fat suit. We also have it on very good authority that they will use the very best and latest celebrity events in the script, so let's just go ahead and assume there will be a Charlie Sheen "Winner!" cameo in there, as well as a possible appearance by Antoine Dodson (either as a spoof, or possibly even the real Dodson).



Why are they making another film? We'll give you $80 million reasons, because that's how much their last film ('Vampires Suck') made, even opening up at the #2 spot on their first weekend. With 3D ticket prices being double (some places nearly triple!) the average price of a 2D showing, it's safe to assume that this won't be their last film either. So please, Spillios - do your civic duty and help us end this. Friends don't let friends watch Friedberg and Seltzer films.




Thanks HR!  :thumbup:

Yeah, it's a mystery to me how these movies keep making money. I understand the mentality of the great unwashed, but this goes even beyond that. These movies are consistently unentertaining. There are movies out there that I don't find funny, but that I understand how the average movie-goer might find it entertaining, but with Friedberg and Seltzer movies I just don't get it. I've never actually sat in a movie theatre to watch one of these, I've only caught bits and pieces of them on cable, but I have a hard time believing that people in a theatre are actually watching these movies and laughing, even in a so-bad-it's-good way, but I guess they are.

(Throws hand in air and walks away)
I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org

Olivia Bauer

I'm going to go watch Monty Python and Mel Brooks films. They remind me of when comedy films were funny and these two were not destroying it.

lester1/2jr

They should make one of a guys butt like in Idiocracy. but dumber

InformationGeek

*Sigh*  Yeah, I made a topic on this in the Press Release thing, but yep, it's happening again.  Why must this happen?

If anyone is interested, Korey Coleman of Spill.com is offering a bounty on these two guys according to the audio review on Vampires Suck.  500 bucks to the person who slaps the crap out of these two and 1000 if you video tape it.  Anyone up for a challenge?
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

Rev. Powell

I think the main audiences for these movies are teenagers on date night, who have low expectations and just want to go someplace where they can neck. 
I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Olivia Bauer

Quote from: InformationGeek on May 24, 2011, 08:05:19 PM
*Sigh*  Yeah, I made a topic on this in the Press Release thing, but yep, it's happening again.  Why must this happen?

If anyone is interested, Korey Coleman of Spill.com is offering a bounty on these two guys according to the audio review on Vampires Suck.  500 bucks to the person who slaps the crap out of these two and 1000 if you video tape it.  Anyone up for a challenge?

I'll get my baseball bat. Info geek, would you mind taping me?

InformationGeek

Quote from: A.J. Bauer on May 25, 2011, 08:44:27 AM
Quote from: InformationGeek on May 24, 2011, 08:05:19 PM
*Sigh*  Yeah, I made a topic on this in the Press Release thing, but yep, it's happening again.  Why must this happen?

If anyone is interested, Korey Coleman of Spill.com is offering a bounty on these two guys according to the audio review on Vampires Suck.  500 bucks to the person who slaps the crap out of these two and 1000 if you video tape it.  Anyone up for a challenge?

I'll get my baseball bat. Info geek, would you mind taping me?

I got no video camera.  Sorry.   :bluesad:
Website: http://informationgeekreviews.blogspot.com/

We live in quite an interesting age. You can tell someone's sexual orientation and level of education from just their interests.

Criswell

Lets all go and have a go at slapping them. I can bring my camcorder. Its even in HD!

Olivia Bauer

Quote from: Criswell on May 25, 2011, 12:09:31 PM
Lets all go and have a go at slapping them. I can bring my camcorder. Its even in HD!

*Hands Criswell a 9 Iron*