What's the Most Physically Painful Thing You've Endured

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

When my cousin was little he had his "parts" caught in the teeth of his zipper.
-Ed

[Psycho Circus]

All this talk of balls and bell-ends, reminds me that I once had my erection stamped on. That was pretty bad.

[akiratubo]

All this talk of balls and bell-ends, reminds me that I once had my erection stamped on. That was pretty bad.

Sympathy pain.  I once had mine bent at an extreme angle.  It slipped out during some enthusiastic pumping, and the girl thrust backwards hard and bent it nearly double on itself.  She mistook the meaning of my scream and thrust back even harder.

[Leah]

When I was younger (8 or 9), I was riding my bike really fast when I  hit a medal curb, the bike landed on my right ankle hard, yet didn't break it, but made it very numb and hurt liked hell for two weeks.

[WingedSerpent]

I'll add my name to the list of knee injuries. 

When I was sophmore in high school I would help my little brother out with his paper route. ( and earned a few extra $$$ a month for spending cash).  Once a  month we had to go door to door for the paper fees.  Well, during one winter we went out collecting after a snow storm.  We started having one of those fights that siblings have that turned into a shoving match. I stepped on some ice and collapsed as my kneecap twisted out of place.

I remember being on the ground, packing snow around my knee and yelling out every curse word I could remember.  My brother had to go to one of the house and call for help.  I ended up using crutches and my leg in a brace.

On the bright side, I got to skip gym class for the rest of my high school career thanks to a medical excuse.

[HappyGilmore]

A cracked tooth.  I was at a local bar that I used to frequent.  On nights that it gets packed, there's no room at all to move.  This bar served 16oz. Budweisers, whereas most area bars only have the 12oz. ones.  I picked up the bottle to take a sip, and this guy next to us, not realizing I had the bottle to my mouth, extended his arm to point his friend in the direction of the bathroom.  His arm whacked the bottle, the bottle cracked my tooth.  There was no blood, but I couldn't eat for a week, as it was my front top tooth.  I could only eat soft stuff, but would have to cut it in half and chew on the side of my mouth until I could get it fixed.

Mind you, I've been the victim of three different muggings by three different gangs, and the cops were involved in each as I was pretty badly beaten in them.

Not only that, but I've also had a metal door slammed on my head.  Hard enough to warrant a trip to the hospital, stitches, and the doctor's being somewhat unable to tell if I had a concussion (luckily, no concussion.)  In fact, during this incident, I kinda just laughed the entire time, and laughed as the stitches came out.

I also saw the band Deftones last summer.  In what was essentially a parking garage, in August, with about 5,000 lunatics, no air conditioning, and everybody throwing fists, elbows, feet at each other.  Got beaten down. 

Yet, a chipped tooth was the most painful thing I endured.

[AndyC]

I'll add my name to the list of knee injuries. 

When I was sophmore in high school I would help my little brother out with his paper route. ( and earned a few extra $$$ a month for spending cash).  Once a  month we had to go door to door for the paper fees.  Well, during one winter we went out collecting after a snow storm.  We started having one of those fights that siblings have that turned into a shoving match. I stepped on some ice and collapsed as my kneecap twisted out of place.

I remember being on the ground, packing snow around my knee and yelling out every curse word I could remember.  My brother had to go to one of the house and call for help.  I ended up using crutches and my leg in a brace.

On the bright side, I got to skip gym class for the rest of my high school career thanks to a medical excuse.

That's a lot like the circumstances of my broken ankle. I was walking back to my house with a friend. It was late. We'd had a few beers (not drunk) and bought a pizza. The sidewalks were covered in snow, so we walked on the street. A car was coming, so we scooted up onto the snowbank. Only I happened to hit a patch of ice that shot my foot right out from under me. I'm not completely sure how I came down on it, but I busted my right tibia and fibula. All I remember is letting out a hell of a scream. The worst of the pain was over in an instant, and I really have no recollection of what it felt like. I was more disturbed by the way my foot hung when I tried to move. A passing car stopped, and the driver proceeded to his house down the street where he called an ambulance, this being almost 20 years ago, before everybody got a cell phone. Must have been lying in that snowbank for at least half an hour waiting for the ambulance to come from the city.

I now have a metal plate, a couple of pins and a whole bunch of screws in that ankle, and a zipper scar up both sides.

And just to show how much of a dick my subconscious can be, the first couple of nights after the ankle surgery, I had a recurring dream in which I was driving toward a brick wall and stepping on the brake as hard as I could. At that point I'd wake up pressing my toe against the inside of my cast as hard as I could. Ow.

[Doggett]

I once had mine bent at an extreme angle.  It slipped out during some enthusiastic pumping, and the girl thrust backwards hard and bent it nearly double on itself.  She mistook the meaning of my scream and thrust back even harder.

After reading that, my genitals have gone into hiding...

[Leah]

All of this talk reminds me of when a jellyfish stung me there.....

[Newt]

I'm pretty sure the women on this board who've had children already know the answer to this. To that I say, no fair.

Cheaters.

Hmph.  I'll assume I am allowed to take exception to the 'cheaters' comment.    Particularly since it is entirely possible these days to go through the birth process and not actually experience any of it.

I suppose I have led a 'safe' and uneventful life: I have experienced a very small number of incidents that have immediately dropped me to my knees with momentary pain, but nothing major.

[ghouck]

Once, I bought this cool metal cube. I was in my attic playing with it when a bunch of sharp hooks came out of nowhere and ripped me into pieces.

[akiratubo]

Once, I bought this cool metal cube. I was in my attic playing with it when a bunch of sharp hooks came out of nowhere and ripped me into pieces.

That happened to me, too!  Even worse, it itched like a mofo when I was resurrected and consumed other people whole to get my flesh back.

[Zapranoth]

A Slytherin once cast the Cruciatus Curse on me.

I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

[AndyC]

Once, I bought this cool metal cube. I was in my attic playing with it when a bunch of sharp hooks came out of nowhere and ripped me into pieces.

That happened to me, too!  Even worse, it itched like a mofo when I was resurrected and consumed other people whole to get my flesh back.

Really? I just got a bunch of nails driven into my skull. Had migraines ever since. But I got a cool leather outfit out of the deal.

[AndyC]

A Slytherin once cast the Cruciatus Curse on me.

I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Couldn't spell the slurpy noise, eh? Me either. It defies onomatopoeia.