How many synonyms for the Old Number Two?

[indianasmith]

This evening I informed my spouse that I would be "taking the Browns to the Super Bowl" before going to town.  Said comment was met with a blank stare (she saw ZOMBIELAND, but forgot its use in that film, apparently).  Since we humans perpetually invent colorful terms to describe our biological functions, I wonder . . . just how many colorful synonyms for defecation there actually are?  Let's rule out "poop' and the S-word for starters.  Here are just a few:

Downloading a pile
Discharging Ballast
Giving Birth to a Democrat/Republican (depends on your political leanings)
Depositing a Political Promise
Taking a (insert name of unpopular co-worker)
Releasing the Brown Trout
Launching a Septic Python


So what have you guys got?

[claws]

Floating a biscuit 

[Sleepyskull]

Punching  slugs
(un)Loading some barrels
Boiling Brownies
s**tzkrieg (For particularly violent loads)

I created this phrase for urinating, but it could be modified:

Driving the golden van down to sunshine land, via the porcelain highway.

[Trevor]

My Dad always said "I'm just going to talk to......" and then he would insert the name of a certain hated politician. 

[Mofo Rising]

Dropping the kids off at the pool.

[RCMerchant]

Corn planting.

[Derf]

Going to see a man about a dog.
Going to spend some quality time on the throne.
Roosting.
Pinching a loaf.
Making stinky.
Hershey squirts (diarrhea).

[Mr. DS]

Leaving a toilet turnip

[Trevor]

In Afrikaans, you would say:

"Ek gaan na die kleinhuisie toe" [I'm going to the small house]
"Ek gaan gou my belasting betaal" [I'm off to pay my income tax]

And the most blatant:

"Ek gaan kak." [I'm going to s***] 

[Leah]

Releasing the logs.

[The Burgomaster]

* Squeezing one out
* Bombing submarines
* Schedule K (this was from my days in public accounting . . . a Schedule K item on a tax return is income or expense that is passed through to the owners of the company . . . thus, a "pass through")

[LilCerberus]

Stop to Drop A Plug

[Psycho Circus]

Bomb the porcelain sea

Freeing my hostages

Code Brown

Letting the toilet know who's boss

[bob]

Hit the Steinbrenner, before he passed away

[Psycho Circus]

Sharing the loaf