Best internet putdowns

[Jack]

Browsing various forums, we're bound to come across plenty of good arguments and the occasional chuckle-inducing insult. 

I kind of like this one I saw today:

"You really realllllyyyyy need to stop posting the first thing that comes into the vacuous space that sits on your shoulders."

What are some noteworthy ones you've come across?

[RCMerchant]

Everything I say that aint related to old horror films. Im very socially inept.
As AllHallows subtley put it-i'm an idiot.

[indianasmith]

I stole this one from Bill Buckley:

"I will not insult your intelligence by presuming to think that you actually believe what you just said."

[Trevor]

I was once dissed by someone on another forum ~ this person had either seen my pic here or on FB ~ and was taking me to task over the fact that I'm a white guy and I say that I am African. Short and sweet, he said that in his opinion, I couldn't be African if I was a white guy as only people of a certain race can be considered truly African.

My answer was that my African lineage stretches back over several generations (back to my great grandparents) and that if I had to be black in order to be African, then I was black and I was very proud to be so. 

[Sleepyskull]

I was once dissed by someone on another forum ~ this person had either seen my pic here or on FB ~ and was taking me to task over the fact that I'm a white guy and I say that I am African. Short and sweet, he said that in his opinion, I couldn't be African if I was a white guy as only people of a certain race can be considered truly African.

My answer was that my African lineage stretches back over several generations (back to my great grandparents) and that if I had to be black in order to be African, then I was black and I was very proud to be so. 

Side thought: At the end of it all, we're all people. I try to remember that whenever I get irritated with people I don't know. It helps me keep some things in check. I know nothing about stranger's lives and it's so much work to be angry. It's exhausting to hold grudges.

Side-anecdote: I have had crusty patches of black skin on my ankles before, doctors said it was just some excess pigment. Nothing harmful, just some irritated skin. I told people I was a were-black. 

[Trevor]

As AllHallows subtley put it-i'm an idiot.

AHD is way wrong there, RC.

[BoyScoutKevin]

Trevor, taking your disser's argument to the extreme, a case can be made that he is not human, for only certain humans of the human race can be considered to be human, which standards he--apparently--does not meet.

His seeming ignorance also excludes alot of other people, besides whites, who may live in Africa. As he not only excludes such whites, but coloreds or people of a mixed racial heritage, Asians, and most of the Arabic looking people of northern Africa, who look neither white nor black.

[ChaosTheory]

I was once dissed by someone on another forum ~ this person had either seen my pic here or on FB ~ and was taking me to task over the fact that I'm a white guy and I say that I am African. Short and sweet, he said that in his opinion, I couldn't be African if I was a white guy as only people of a certain race can be considered truly African.

^^ And that's typically the one I use.  That and "Obvious troll is obvious."  Kind of cliche, but almost always appropriate.....

[indianasmith]

Years ago, I had some problems on one of our artifact boards with a guy who was acting like a complete and total a$$.  I finally reached the point of replying to his every post with:

"Cease to exist, please."

[Zapranoth]

After many years I still think this one is good.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/1051162624.html

[The Gravekeeper]

http://fatuglyorslutty.com/

This entire site. Why let some twit get to you when you can take their vile comments, upload them for people to laugh at (nothing takes the bile out of a private attack like publicly mocking it), and potentially getting the offender's account banned (the site encourages people to report and then send in the evidence, and XBox Live does watch the site to get the usernames of offenders)?

[Mofo Rising]

Great fairly-famous response from the Cleveland Browns to a fan complaint.

Stupid Letters

Made better by the fact that it is apparently true.

[Newt]

"You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot."

- I know I'll be putting that one to use!  I have just the spot for it...on another forum, of course.  Thanks, Zapranoth!

[ghouck]

"If I ever crapped something as ugly as you I'd go have my bung-hole sewn shut"

That's of my own making.

[Flangepart]

Inspired by the girl who played Penny in the LOST IN SPACE flick...and I'm proud of it...

"Gag! Her voice could scrape paint off stucco!"