A.J. Bauer Reviews - Nutcracker [not] in 3D!

[Olivia Bauer]

20:00 - OH GOD! HE OPENED THE VOID! THE NUTCRACKER WILL PULL YOU INTO OBLIVION!

[Olivia Bauer]

21:05 - You know what this movie needs? More CGI!

[Olivia Bauer]

21:30 - It's funny because he's fat! 

Wait, no it isn't.

[Olivia Bauer]

23:00 - Oh great... It's John Wayne Gacy. I've had enough of that.

[Olivia Bauer]

24:10 - Oh dear god! I thought this movie couldn't BE anymore offensive! Now we have Jamaican stereotypes! Please tell me he doesn't start smoking pot.

[Olivia Bauer]

26:22 - More and more racism. Yeesh. No you're making fun of the Russians.

[Olivia Bauer]

27:00 - JESUS! She sparkles more than a f**king vampire! It's killing my eyes.

[Olivia Bauer]

27:37 - Wait a second... Is that... Tin foil?

[Olivia Bauer]

28:13 - This is more scary than fantastic if you ask me.

[Olivia Bauer]

29:00 - ARE YOU SEEING THIS BLUE SCREEN?!

[Olivia Bauer]

29:55 - That flying scene was about as convincing as the ones from Superman.

[Olivia Bauer]

30:25 - What? I thought it was a rat king?

[Olivia Bauer]

31:30 - That is just... *Shiver*

[Olivia Bauer]

32:00 - And now his voice is radically different.

[Olivia Bauer]

32:30 - If this movie gets any sweeter I'll have diabetes.