Two Truths and a Lie

[bob]

1. In London in 1998 I told a local I was English but I wanted to try to sound American and he said I "almost had the accent right."

2. Just before my son was born I craved peanut brittle with soul-deadening intensity, a snack I have never been able to stand before or since.

3. Once? When I was (not) at band camp in Dayton, Ohio? There was this man in the Air Force? And he told us he played soprano saxophone in a jazz band? And to prove it he played that sax like non-stop when we weren't working? So I tried to kill him by driving over him with my car? But he moved out of the way because I was only backing toward him at like 3 MPH even if I did intend to break his sax-playing hands or something? So he got the message and quit playing his sax when other people were trying to read? And a lot of people thanked me for that because he was so f**king obnoxious we were all about to kill him, and we were not a group of people you wanted plotting your death?

#3 sounds so over the top, but also plausible...but I'm guessing that

[ER]

1. In London in 1998 I told a local I was English but I wanted to try to sound American and he said I "almost had the accent right."

2. Just before my son was born I craved peanut brittle with soul-deadening intensity, a snack I have never been able to stand before or since.

3. Once? When I was (not) at band camp in Dayton, Ohio? There was this man in the Air Force? And he told us he played soprano saxophone in a jazz band? And to prove it he played that sax like non-stop when we weren't working? So I tried to kill him by driving over him with my car? But he moved out of the way because I was only backing toward him at like 3 MPH even if I did intend to break his sax-playing hands or something? So he got the message and quit playing his sax when other people were trying to read? And a lot of people thanked me for that because he was so f**king obnoxious we were all about to kill him, and we were not a group of people you wanted plotting your death?

#3 sounds so over the top, but also plausible...but I'm guessing that

Noooope.

[javakoala]

1. In London in 1998 I told a local I was English but I wanted to try to sound American and he said I "almost had the accent right."

2. Just before my son was born I craved peanut brittle with soul-deadening intensity, a snack I have never been able to stand before or since.

3. Once? When I was (not) at band camp in Dayton, Ohio? There was this man in the Air Force? And he told us he played soprano saxophone in a jazz band? And to prove it he played that sax like non-stop when we weren't working? So I tried to kill him by driving over him with my car? But he moved out of the way because I was only backing toward him at like 3 MPH even if I did intend to break his sax-playing hands or something? So he got the message and quit playing his sax when other people were trying to read? And a lot of people thanked me for that because he was so f**king obnoxious we were all about to kill him, and we were not a group of people you wanted plotting your death?

2. Because. when you were a child, you were assaulted by a legume, you have NEVER wanted peanut butter

[indianasmith]

1.  I am slowly committing suicide by cheeseburger.
2.  I once found an arrowhead in the parking lot of a convenience store.
3.  I took a semester of Russian in college, but only remember a few words in the language now.

[AoTFan]

I'll go again!

1. At my high school performance of "Annie Get Your Gun" one of the make-up girls told me I was one of the few guys she seen that actually "looked good" in make-up.
2. Our family once visited Canada and, being the adventurous types, ate at a McDonalds.
3. I have an unfortunate fascination of videos with pusy and/or infection wounds being squeezed out and cleaned.

I'll say - #2!

Actually... no, that is true!

Down to 50/50.

1.

Correct!  

Neat little fact though, the reason it's a lie, the play was "Our Town" not "Annie Get Your Gun" (that was the play they had done a few years before.)

And, yes, she did say I was the only guy that "looked good" in makeup.  (Not sure how to take that, actually..)

[bob]

1.  I am slowly committing suicide by cheeseburger.
2.  I once found an arrowhead in the parking lot of a convenience store.
3.  I took a semester of Russian in college, but only remember a few words in the language now.

3

[indianasmith]

1.  I am slowly committing suicide by cheeseburger.
2.  I once found an arrowhead in the parking lot of a convenience store.
3.  I took a semester of Russian in college, but only remember a few words in the language now.

3

CORRECT, SIR!! It was French, not Russian.

[ER]

1. Even though we had a one-day Paddock Visitor pass and it was during a time when the track was closed til the fall meet, I almost got arrested for hopping a fence and two guard rails to put a rose on Ruffian's grave in the infield at Belmont Park.

2. I am in the midst of my longest stretch of celibacy since 2012....

3. I can honestly say I am worth more dead than alive....

[indianasmith]

#1, for sure!

[indianasmith]

OK, this one is tricky . . .

1.  I got in serious dutch with the XO on my ship for having a T-shirt made depicting our collision with another vessel.
2.  One of my Navy buddies was a former embalmer who got banned from the business for having sex with a corpse.
3.  My sister used to email back and forth with Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, before he became super-famous.

[ER]

#1, for sure!

You sure about that? I might've been doing it for Gina or something.

Don't want to guess again? No? Nope?


Sigh, okay, yes, number 1 t'was. Grrrr. Good thing my life doesn't depend on these.

[ER]

OK, this one is tricky . . .

1.  I got in serious dutch with the XO on my ship for having a T-shirt made depicting our collision with another vessel.
2.  One of my Navy buddies was a former embalmer who got banned from the business for having sex with a corpse.
3.  My sister used to email back and forth with Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, before he became super-famous.

Remember, if these are all lies, you lose an appendage. I don't make the rules, dude.

Let us settle on...................................2.

[Allhallowsday]

OK, this one is tricky . . .

1.  I got in serious dutch with the XO on my ship for having a T-shirt made depicting our collision with another vessel.
2.  One of my Navy buddies was a former embalmer who got banned from the business for having sex with a corpse.
3.  My sister used to email back and forth with Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, before he became super-famous.

It's #1.

[indianasmith]

ER got it right, it was number 2. Actually, I did have a shipmates who was a former mortician,  but it was his cousin who did the unspeakable deed detailed above.

[Alex]

1. I once seriously injured someone I was supposed to be giving first aid to during an exercise.
2. The first time I visited London, over night the IRA blew up several bombs, each in places we had visited during the day.
3. I once got into trouble for playing air guitar while guarding the front gate at 4 am.