Farting/Burping On Command

[Mr. DS]

Long as I can remember I've always been able to burp on command.  Some folks I've run into can't do it unless they drink soda or something else carbinated.

Then you have the truly gifted folk who can make themselves fart, aka the petomanes.  I do not have that talent sadly.

[Derf]

When I still had a gall bladder, I could very nearly fart on command, but no more. And I can't burp on purpose at all; I get a tickle in my throat that sends me into a coughing fit that ends in a belch that ends the tickle. Yet another reason I don't really fit in with male bonding groups... 

[Jack]

If I'm drinking beer I suppose I can burp on command.  Don't get a lot of requests for that from my wife or daughters though - typical females   

As far as farting, all I can say is that If I've been eating steak with Heinz 57 sauce, believe me, just stay in the other room.  And pray that the furnace doesn't suck it into the ventilation system and distribute it throughout the house.