RULES GOVERNING MONSTERS IN BAD FILMS

[alandhopewell]

     Add to the list as you think of them.

     1- If there is more than a dozen of the same type of monster in a film, said monsters may be fatally shot.

[Ted C]

2) A monster can eat any number of human beings without any loss of appetite.

[The Fake Macoy]

3) Monsters move much slower when someone is watching them, often slowing down to a shuffle.

[AndyC]

4. The distance between a monster and a fleeing person is in no way related to the speed at which the two are moving. A slow monster can easily catch or overtake a fast person. Inversely, a fast monster can take an unusually long time to catch a slow, stumbling person. In the course of a chase, the distance between human and monster can suddenly increase or decrease in an instant, sometimes fluctuating back and forth. The distance can also appear longer or shorter depending on which point of view the audience is shown.

[RCMerchant]

5. If a girl faints-a monster will carry them away.

[indianasmith]

Nuclear Radiation does not kill reptiles and invertebrates, it just transforms them into giant, hideously strong monsters!

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Even though made of meat like the rest of us, weapons have no effect.

[Psycho Circus]

8. Mostly mindless killing machines not fearing light or authority, monsters are extremely self conscious and will avoid being seen in daylight.

[AndyC]

A monster's deadliness is inversely proportionate to the importance of the character it is attacking. A minor character might be killed before he even knows what hit him, while the hero can wrestle with the monster for several minutes and suffer only superficial injuries.

[Chainsawmidget]

At no point does altering somethings DNA though science or mutation every make something more passive or friendlier. 

On that note, using convicts or soldiers for your experiments is never a good idea. 

[AndyC]

At no point does altering somethings DNA though science or mutation every make something more passive or friendlier. 

On that note, using convicts or soldiers for your experiments is never a good idea. 

Further to that rule, it is relatively rare for random mutation to result in illness, disability, death or pointless malformation. More often, mutation results in properly-formed claws and/or fangs, combined human/animal traits, enhanced physical abilities and even special powers.

[JaseSF]

11) A monster, especially a giant one, will eventually attack a major city landmark of some sort usually destroying it, sometimes more than one will be demolished and even on occasion said monster seems to become a threat to an whole nation if not the world.

[AndyC]

Many monsters will instinctively avoid authority figures, slipping away quietly before they are seen by police or parents. This does not preclude them sneaking up on those people at some later time.

Eating people will weaken this instinct, and after a particularly large binge, monsters have been known to start attacking whole groups of people in plain sight.

[Jack]

Almost all monsters have the ability to magically upgrade any weapon fired at them to infinite ammo capacity.

[alandhopewell]

     If the monster is some sort of oversized arthropod, it must make an annoying whirring noise.