Man busted for trying to copulate with an ATM

[sprite75]

Yep, you read that right.  A man in Tennessee tried to copulate with an ATM.

MAY 19--A Tennessee man was arrested Friday night after he walked into a bar, dropped his pants and underwear, and attempted to have sex with an ATM machine, police report.

Lonnie Hutton, 49, was collared at The Boro Bar and Grill, the Murfreesboro watering hole where he allegedly sought to make a 9 PM deposit.

According to a Murfreesboro Police Department report, an officer was dispatched to the bar, where a witness said that Hutton walked to the ATM and "pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals." Officer M. Rickard added, "Mr. Hutton then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM."

After his encounter with the ATM, Hutton "then began to walk 'nude' around the bar thrusting his hips in the air," Rickard reported.

[indianasmith]

Wow.  I wonder what kind of payoff he was expecting?

[Trevor]

I wonder how much interest he lost when he withdrew?  

[WingedSerpent]

Please tell me he was saying something like-"Hey Bank-you're always %^&%-ing with me, now how do you like it?"

[Josso]

Mr. Hutton misunderstood the location and process of sperm banks

[Jack]

The ATM was quoted as saying "Best deposit I've ever had!"

[Umaril Has Returned]

LMAO, great one-liners from all of you!

ATM-Automatic Titillation Machine 

[Trevor]

Please tell me he was saying something like-"Hey Bank-you're always %^&%-ing with me, now how do you like it?"

LOL 

[Flangepart]

I try to write funny things...amusing stories...and then reality comes along and LAUGHS at me! 

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Thats going for the money shot.

[VenomX73]

This Ain't Banking XXX (2014) 

[sprite75]

Substantial penalties for early withdrawal...

[bob]

He came into some money.

[akiratubo]

Someone wanted to make ... a special deposit.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[A_Dubya]

I hope he used the plastic. Those ATMs will let anyone in them.